After spending two months on plenty of fish, filtering out losers who just wanted a piece of ass (and couldn’t get it in real life), I met this decent ‘normal’ guy who wasn’t so ‘sleazy’. We talked online for about three nights a week for three weeks and we hit it off well. And we exchanged pics, and we were both mutually interested after that.
Then I met him at a certain dt pub. We talked and drank beer for about an hour, everything was going great! Initially we were sitting on opposite sides of the booth. Then I made the first move and got on his side with him. I was a little buzzed but not near drunk. I told him he was cute and I put my arm around him. He didn’t return the compliment and just sat there. I flirted with him some more and patted his leg a few times. He hardly looked at me. Then he did face me, so I leaned over to kiss him. (Don’t get the idea that I’m a slut: I wasn’t planning to fuck him that very night, I’m not like that, I just tried to give him a little kiss. It’s 2010, a KISS, oooh I’m naughty!).
*He* clamps his mouth shut, stares straight ahead and makes a noise resembling a puppy-whimper! Then he tensed up. A couple minutes later he tells me he has to get up early for work tomorrow and then the date is over! I was like wtf was that!? I know I’m gonna get comments telling me that I gave him an outdated photo and I wasn’t as ‘attractive’ as he thought I would be.
*But* for the record, the three photos I sent him were taken litterally a month beforehand and two were full-length (myself head-to-toe), so I think that had nothing to do with it (p.s. his photos were accurate too). My actions weren’t over-the-top, were they? Was he gay, maybe? Was he really religious? Who fucking knows…all I know was that he wasted my time.
Heh, who would have thought a guy on POF. would act the polar opposite of most of the horndogs that are usually on there?? Where the fuck is the pleasant medium in this city? —Gotta Keep Looking
This article appears in Mar 25-31, 2010.
Has anyone ever told you that you are clingy?
Um . . . call me old fashioned . . . but I think you kind of rushed things by presuming he was interested in kissing a total stranger.
Nothing to do with being “naughty”—more to do with disrespecting boundaries I would say.
Yeah, I’d go home too. Clingy or slutty or maybe both. Poor guy thought it was to the altar next.
Too much too soon springs to mind. The same thing the OP thinks of the other fish. I guess the happy medium is keeping displays of affection in check until you actually know each other well enough to decide if the feeling is mutual. Chatting online for a week before meeting is not dating. Meeting in person is when the date started and first impressions are everything.
I would have frozen you out too, OP, your move spelled ‘NEEDY’ big-time. Next time, have a little more restraint and you might get a little more interest.
WTF, if someone I just met in person *made the first move and got on his side with him* I’d be uncomfortable too. This was a public place and not the venue for patting his fucking leg. Now, does this clear up why you didn’t get laid. BTW< no mention of whether he ever contacted you again. Place of Freaks is not where I spend my time scouting for a date.
Invading someone’s personal space is just not cool. You probably came across like a warthog in heat.
Wow, so not only were you going in for a kiss on the first date, but this was *after* he started acting weird and ignoring your flirtations (which you already acknowledged!!) AND you two were sitting in a pub? Why not at LEAST wait until you were outside, at the end of the date maybe?
Weird. . . weird weird. Poor guy.
Have you got any funny cat stories?
Well, I sort have one about my now deceased cat. She had a penchant for legs. Yup, she’d bring home frogs, having neatly eaten off their legs and living birds minus their legs. Have you ever looked a bird in the eye with no legs…quite dreadful actually.
Gave me nightmare for weeks.
This post has been pussy-hiked! Enough on the four-legged furballs already.
I bet the OP had bad breath. That’s why he was acting normally until she got closer to him.
Or he came in his pants when you stroked his leg.
Or maybe the smell of bubblin’ tuna did him in.
Dammit TTFN! Now I’m hungry!
Or he came in his pants when you stroked his leg. That would be pathetic if he did.
LMFAO.
My guess: not gay, (or he wouldn’t have responded to a female’s ad), not religious (probably wouldn’t have wanted to go to a pub for the first date if he was a fundie.)
Probably “just not that into you.”
This is just a theory, even if it seems far-fetched, but maybe not all guys like sexual aggression on the first date. I know, I know, it seems ridiculous to even suggest it:)
A lot of people are just not into kissing/affection in public either, especially on a first date. My bf kissed me on the bus after we’d known each other for ages, but I was still thinking, not on the bus, not on the bus!
pof, what else would you expect to land on there. either the dude was fucked in the head, or he was just trying to save something(don’t know what) for marriage. either way, you are far better off not being with him. if you know anything about this section, you will know that there are a few nice people, of the male sex here. most of us, carry on a personna of must be a prick to say what we do, but the complete is probly opposite of most guys here.
I sure be a little more serious. I know some people who met on POF, and they have
great relationships now. Just keep on trying, you’ll find someone soon enough.
When I was on POF, I did not once kiss on the first date. I considered it more of a first encounter than a date. One chick got pissed off and I didn’t see her again. That’s fine, why rush things? She was a bitch anyway.
Act like you don’t give a fuck. It drives the women nuts and only makes them more interested. Of course, don’t pussy out and leave like this nut did. Make fun of her for being so horny so soon.
”stares straight ahead and makes a noise resembling a puppy-whimper…”
what the fuck? a full grown man whimpering? or was the sight of you enough to throw him into full blown catatonia?
Let’s face it—by that point, I’m sure the guy was REALLY freaked out, wondering, how the HELL am I gonna get out of this . . . !
I know plenty of people that have hooked up successfully using POF. Hell, my entire neigbourhood is POF friendly. They have Bbq’s, camping dates and block parties. Most may not be romantically linked, but for sure great friendships have been formed.
chatting and texting are ok but until you are physically near, it doesn’t mean squat
it’s all in the scent and i don’t mean perfume
Ok, my and my long term partner met on POF. Were still together and very happy! I don’t recommend it though. I think were the exception and I’ve heard a lot of horror stories.
He whimpered and got tense? Yeah… He creamed his pants, sorry.
Ok…you’re either bad at reading signals or you actually were drunk. Either way I have to side with him.
Firstly…you were not on a “first date” you were meeting someone for the first time. This is where you see if you have a connection face to face instead of the personas you portray online.
Second…if you are rubbing the guys leg that you just met and he is not responding at all he either has zero connection or interest in you at all or he doesn’t want to take advantage of the drunk, horny desparate girl who is throwing herself at him
Finally…he isn’t gay or religious he is a nice guy who probably wanted to meet a nice girl and ended up meeting you instead…poor fella. I hope he fares better next time.
No wonder you cant keep a man, nagging, annoying.. and obviously dumb enough to sign up to a website like plenty of fish..
My Mum gave me all kinds of advice, but the two that stuck with me were ‘moisturize moisturize moisturize’ and ‘let the man come to you’… both have been very effective.
So keep your skin looking lovely and never throw yourself at a guy – unless you want to look like a desperate cougar.
It’s not him OP, it’s you. You were drunk and acting clingy and desperate. I’m sure he was having a good laugh with his friends over your behaviour and how lucky he was to dodge that bullet as you typed this whiny bitch.
You were so over the top it was like watching Stallone
trying to win his son’s favor by arm wrestling.
It’s the first date. Online dating or not.
Few brews, a bite, talk, minor flirting, sure …
but how did you get to patting his leg?
The train went off the track in a major way.
Talking in generalities, most girls think most guys
wanna move fast and we aren’t able to read you.
That wasn’t the case here. He got your signals,
didn’t like the vibe, what he seen, wasn’t what
he wanted that quick (or at all), so he bailed.
The oldest cliche. Girls say they wanna meet “nice guys”.
They don’t. First they have to be used by douchebags and
flakes of varying degrees before they “grow up”.
Then when they do meet “nice guys”, they get all offended
when they don’t wanna rush to do you only
after knowing you less than a month.
How’s that for an enigma.
You say one thing, but your actions and body
language say another. Sitting next to him was
great to imply interest, like leaning in close, but
touching and ‘getting all up in it’ that is another.
You should have played it casual.
A kiss at the end of the night at most.
From here you could write it off a million ways.
Just take something away from this experience.
If nothing else, it could have been worse.
He could have used you … but maybe in some way
that’s what you wanted? You wanted sex, physical release,
but without the ‘slut’ stamp. A relationship? Security?
Be true to yourself. Re-read what you wrote.
You’re all Jekyll and Hyde.
Ask yourself what you really want and why.
Good luck in your search…perhaps it’s for the better.
“filtering out losers who just wanted a piece of ass (and couldn’t get it in real life)”
HEY! I stopped reading after this line since I have now been uberly offended. Not cool, OP, not cool!
WAAAAAAAAY more to this story than the OP stated. I would love to hear how this guy would tell the story. I am sure the OP freaked him out to the point he was just turned off completely.
Reading her post made me feel uneasy, I wonder what the OP is like to have drinks with.
Just read the rest of the post and the comments. Don’t worry, OP, I can love you, and will definitely give you a kiss on the first date, provided you’re a hot female. In fact, I’m free tonight, wanna go out?
she made me feel queasy, uneasy
she was a little bit sleazy
she moved up on me
and felt my leg freely
too much, too soon
I left the room
and didn’t look back
because the the girl was whacked!
sorry doods, I visited the Agricola agency this evening…
okay o.p., here i am, TAKE ME BITCH.
Shit Stain……….. I don’t lick dicks !!!
Cell phones, iPhones, digital cameras, webcams, etc are all EASILY available, so there is no excuse for not having a recent picture. But congrats on having one that is only a month old vs. some peoples’ pictures on POF that are 1, 2, 3, 4, 5+ years old.
I think you moved too fast with the guy. That explains it. Likely he’s not the type to rush into things.
For everyone else on POF, UPDATE YOUR DAMN PICS!
If the roles were reversed and a man kept advancing the way she did, the feminist would be crying sexual assault.
This reminds me of one time when I went on a similar blind date and was stupid enough to go to the guy’s house (I thought just to hang out!) and he ended up putting his tongue in my mouth when I was MID SENTENCE! Needless to say I left almost immediately and avoided the shit out of him after that.
i see our shitty is back, seems funny, that one goes, the other comes on here. but this chick really needs to get laid, we are here for you.
The guy was fucked. If this girl was even a 6 or 7 he should’ve gone for it.
Once again I want you to know that I’ve thoroughly enjoyed reading the musings of the Halifax underclass, but now I’ve got to run.
Cheerio!
he wasted your time eh…? This was your first meeting as you say, so why would you expect to be lip-locking with him (or any other form of intimacy) on your FIRST meeting?
Assuming he did find you attractive, you most likely A) gave him the impression you wanted to jump his bones and scared him off, and/or B) he wasn’t into your personality (hitting it off online does NOT equal hitting it off in person).
I’ve kissed on first dates and will do so again. However there has to be a mutual interest b/w my dates and I and not a one-way street like OB here. Balls is right, OB, you sound very clingy and would probably call the guy twice a night if he kissed you back.
My guess is as soon as OB got home, she’d call the guy and be all, “So whatcha thinking about? What are you doing now?” Draft beer can make a hoe do horny shit. Been there and seen it.
According to Emily Post …
“Do not attract attention to yourself in public. This is one of the fundamental rules of good breeding. Shun conspicuous manners, conspicuous clothes, a loud voice, staring at people, knocking into them, talking across anyone—in a word do not attract attention to yourself. Do not expose your private affairs, feelings or innermost thoughts in public. You are knocking down the walls of your house when you do.”
hahaha NGF….
”Draft beer can make a hoe do horny shit.”
true dat.
Hahaha, thanks, Dino. You wouldn’t happen to wanna go get a Sam Adams on tap would ya? lol
NGF gives it up faster than a dog in heat when he’s been drinkin’ a few too many pitchers, so he’s one to talk.
Duh. Personal experience.
shit ladies, i don’t need anything to drink at all, to be a slut. just come on down to where it can happen.
Sorry NGF…I’m kind of taken.
Oh don’t tell me you gave in and decided to give LS a chance lol.
I would rather die.
Dino, what you really mean is you’d rather go out with me, right?