I truly think that being happy and positive is a choice we all have to make, and something that we need to put effort into each and every day. It will always be easier to think negatively, but ultimately so much more exhausting and unrewarding. If you want to be happy, no one can do that for you in this world but you. That may sound cheesy and lame, but I believe it to be true. So, this is a love to someone I believe needs a little push in the right direction. I really hope you find the strength to get the help you need and make the decision to be happy. It is not as easy as one might think, but no one can do that for you. —Love From A Stranger Who Cares
This article appears in Jan 17-23, 2013.
Unfortunately that choice isn’t as easy for everyone. I’m glad you have such a positive outlook tho, OB, but don’t trivialize others unhappiness.
“It will always be easier to think negatively, but ultimately so much more exhausting and unrewarding.” – Unrewarding? Probably. More exhausting to think negatively? You’ve obviously never tried to crawl your way out of crushing dark depression. It’s sooo much easier to sink than swim.
“If you want to be happy, no one can do that for you in this world but you.That may sound cheesy and lame” – Not at all. But others can lend you perspective and help with unhappiness. Interestingly enough, it’s usually other people that create the unhappiness for someone. You’re right tho, if someone refuses to be happy then there’s naught anyone can do to change that.
Try not being a stranger to this person. Knowing someone believed in them would be an incredible boon, I’ll bet.
In this world, asking for something and getting it are two different things.The first thing a person must overcome before asking for help is, admitting they have a problem… I know that can be a difficult thing to do but,it can be done.Must be done before happiness is found.
My outlook has been deteriorating these past couple years, slowly but surely. My sadness stems from not being satisfied with myself (physically and work related) then blooms into the hatred of society. I try to be happy, but at the end of the day, I find myself alone and in the dark (literally). I cant help but see selfishness, and greed wishing almost everyday to be born in a different time. The time where they could buy so many candies for a goddam penny! And now thats being taken away. Im saying this deep down in my heart, That I would do anything for anyone (there are limits) but none-the-less I would try to give the world to someone if they wanted it, even when I know I cant, Id try as hard as i possibly could. Can I make you smile? How about a cupcake? Foot rub? My point is, Id be a happier person sharing my love with anyone and everyone, I just dont think that what they want……
roseabea I know how you feel about love.I have lots to give but no one to give it too….I do empathize with your feelings of depression;if indeed, that’s what you were speaking of?You sound depressed to me.
I don’t sit in the dark so I don’t know how you feel there.
Sorry for the multiple posts.
A simple hug can make someone feel loved.
I tend to agree with the OP. I find negativity takes so much out of you. I’ve dealt with depression and the self loathing that comes with it. It literally saps all the energy out of you and, worst of all, it creates inertia.
I don’t have any magic answers for you rosebea other than do something completely out of the norm for you. Whatever that is, maybe go to the museum, the Oval I don’t know.
I like going to the gym to help build up the seratonin levels and give myself a feeling of accomplishment. It all helps.
I thought of doing something that would cheer me up too and relieve stress.Like going out for a drunk, picking up some handsome man,then bring him home to make me an after sex sammich.That’s, out of character for me.A thought,though.
Roseabea – The best advice that can be given from the Captain’s repertoire is to not give a fuck.
Now, that does sound odd, but it’s true.
“My sadness stems from not being satisfied with myself (physically and work related) then blooms into the hatred of society.”
It’s important to be critical of oneself, but not too critical. If you’re not satisfied with yourself physically (maybe you think yourself chubby?) then you just have to bite the bullet and do something about it, like take Troodon’s advice. We all have our own standards to measure the world, so make sure to adjust yours so that you’re not being unfair to yourself.
Don’t give a fuck about what society thinks, especially when it comes to something like beauty or success. We all have our own measuring sticks. As far as how terrible this world can be sometimes? Yeah, it’s bad, so knowing that you should be putting in effort to change it, even if it’s only your little world that changes. If you do this, how can you not have pride in yourself or a feeling of accomplishment?
Remember that you’re certainly not alone with your troubles. In fact, depression is running rampant through society, especially I feel in younger generations. And why shouldn’t they be sad? They’re not rockstars, pornstars, rich, famous, beautiful, profound, funny, or Justin Beiber….. See? These are methods that people use to measure their self worth, which is clearly a bad method.
Like you, I would go out of my way for people who have no regard for me. This is coming from the guy who gets ignored by 99% of women, yet I still throw myself out there (I must be a closet masochist or something). If you don’t give a fuck about rejection, then you won’t be let down. If you don’t give a fuck about your muffin top, then you’ll feel great at the beach in one of them fancy lady swimsuits. If you don’t give a fuck about the ignorance of people around the world, then you’ll stop being so affected by the News. If you don’t give a fuck… then you won’t be so sad.
Also, getting laid helps… not that the Captain would know anything about that.
So, to sum up…
“DON’T GIVE SO MANY FUCKS! This is the key to enlightenment” – Buddha
“wishing almost everyday to be born in a different time. The time where they could buy so many candies for a goddam penny!” – The Captain wishes almost everyday that Dragons were real, and he was a Knight on Horseback riding through the war torn countryside, rescuing Damsels and dispatching mighty foes with his broadsword… you see how far wishes and fantastical dreams get you? I’ve stopped wishing for them, and now I just enjoy them inside my head. A vivid imagination can be a brutal enemy. So don’t taint your fantasy’s with expectations of reality.
Cap. Buddha was very wise.
Also, getting laid helps… not that the Captain would know anything about that.
Sex when shared between two consenting adults,is a beautiful experience.Sex can make your life difficult, though. ..Your a kind,intelligent,sensitive and handsome man.Some woman will become smitten with you, then sex will happen.
Don’t wish your life away;love your life while your still young and single.Go out,have fun with your buddies. Smile be happy…It’ll happen when it happens.
Dear Stranger,
I have some challenges that sometimes make me depressed, and last night I felt depression coming on, but for some reason, something told me to go and read the Love the Way we Love column in the latest Coast. . . I found your post, and it melted my depression right away. I don’t know who you wrote it for; maybe for me!? Very grateful; thanks so much
I believe a person who never felt true happiness, must be taught how to be happy.
OP The person you wrote the love for, is lucky to have someone like you that cares enough, to go out of your way,to do something that thoughtful. Why not contact the person?Is there a reason you can’t tell then yourself?
perhaps the person could use a friendly smile and a compassionate ear.
Roseabea and NCC I wish you both health and happiness.
NCC I too wish the Stranger wrote it for me.If someone cared enough about me to write such a thoughtful letter, would be a nice thought.
I thought someone cared that much.I was wrong,as usual.
*It certainly was exciting running into you a few days ago.*
Boru, this was meant for you. I don`t know you, but from what I hear from PK and what I read on here I can tell you`re a very sweet person. It breaks my heart to see your immediate reaction to most things (including a lot of loves) seem to be negative. I`m not saying it`s easy to be happy all the time, or that that`s even realistic. But, what I am saying is that that`s a choice that people have to make for themselves. Basically, I wish you all the best and I hope you get what you want out of life 🙂
Captain, I also didn`t mean to imply that people can always do it alone, but no amount of therapy or talking with friends will work unless you make the decision that you want to be happy or positive. It`s a hard road, but really the things worth having in life are often hard work.
This is coming from experience and from someone who has to make that decision every single day to think positive instead of being the negative person it is so easy to fall into.
True story, PurpleFire
I chose happiness as well, although for me, I feel that it was the more difficult of the two choices.
I agree Captain… that’s why I said negativity is so much easier and that thinking positive can sometimes (often, most times) take effort. I just think it’s worth it in the end 🙂
PF Thank you,your sweet for saying such nice things about someone you never met. .Just a question…Do you know who wrote it?I would like to thank them for their concern.
Boru, I wrote this for you.
PF It’s sweet of you to have concern for a person you never met.:)
Thank you,I appreciate your kindness. 🙂 🙂
Unfortunately,you don’t always get what you ask for.
How did you get to be so nice anyways, PurpleFire?
You trying to make the rest of us look bad?! – J/k
I got it from my mama haha
I’m not making anyone look bad… but thanks, I try!