What is wrong with parents these days? And I’m not talking about welfare bums or unwed teenage mothers. I’m talking about seemingly normal adults with homes and jobs and not a sweet fucking clue how to raise children, never mind teach them common sense, manners or respect.
On my street the lawns, both front and back, are collectively strewn with thousands of dollars worth of destroyed toys. Bikes, helmets, roller blades, skateboards, scooters, hockey sticks and nets and an alarming amount of electronic battery operated toys that have no business outside in the first place lay rusting and rotting at the curb and usually blocking my driveway. Children discard their garbage wherever convenient; tree branches, shrubs, the holes in the cinder block retaining wall of my front steps, et cetera.
There are unattended school-age children looking in my windows, leaping in front of moving cars one in particular usually with pissed pants or beating my door down waking my children from their naps and trying to push past me into my home to “play” with my one- and two-year-old. This “play” consists of two school-aged kids ignoring my children while they try to snoop in my bedroom or ask for endless treats. When I wised up after the first trauma-filled visit and started saying no I was met with crossed arms, frowns, huffs of exasperation and jaw-dropping responses. Sweet baby Jesus were they raised by the broken condoms that failed to prevent their miserable existence? The parents never know where their kids are nor do they call them in for supper. The children just wander home cold hungry and dirty for a bowl of cereal and their TV when it gets too dark out to terrorize the neighbourhood. There is a blissful moment of silence as I bathe and tuck in my own children before the toddler a few houses down begins their nightly ritual of screaming at ungodly volumes until the exasperated parents set it loose in the yard to burn out while they toke up (I don’t really blame them). And then just when my partner and I are settling down to sleep at 10:30 or so comes the night shift, a herd of 9- to 12-year-olds swinging from trees like monkeys, hollering, patrolling up and down the street or through our yard on their decrepit bikes and thundering on foot within inches of our bedroom window.
My kids aren’t perfect but I don’t and will never let them run wild, treat their belongings and the property of others like shit or fail to teach them basic manners and respect. I thought moving further from the city would be nice but I’d almost rather the little punk ass drug dealers of north end Dartmouth to these annoying children and clueless parents. At least welfare bums keep their kids locked up in the house to protect their investments. I don’t blame the neighbours who seem nice but only take their kid outside in the early mornings while the others are still sleeping. Is there ANYWHERE in NS with a nice sense of community where adults and children alike are civil, respectful and pleasant to be around? Am I dreaming? —Made in the ’80s
This article appears in Aug 23-29, 2012.
Next time they come-a-visitin’ get their D.N.A. on file now. It will increase the odds of getting a successful conviction later on.
Welcome to the new millenium. I was born in the 50’s and things were very much different than they are now or even when you were born in the 80’s. It all started to go haywire when they took dicipline out of the schools, since then it has gone downhill hard and fast. The children now wear the pants in most households and are allowed to do or act as they please. There is no common sense anymore, and things will only continue to get worse I’m afraid. Spanking your children is not child abuse if it is done without malice, anger, or vengeance. They need authority , structure, dicipline, guidelines, forgiveness, and lots of love in the appropriate measure and at the appropriate time. They need to be held accountable for what they do and suffer the consequences when they do wrong. The problem with today’s world is everything is backward. Good is evil, and evil is good…..
Not to be mean, but you need a fence, OB. And a locked gate. This sounds like a friggen horror movie. I would keep to myself, don’t let those kids in, and keep your kids away from them, before their behavior starts rubbing off. The parents who take their kid out early are the smart ones. You don’t need to invite that circus in. It doesn’t sound like you picked a great place to move to, sadly. Maybe one much less populated?That would be my choice.
… and they wonder why we’re still finding dumpster babies…
you m’lady… need a fence.
electric, preferably.
good fences make good neighbours…and they keep the urban baboons out. DISCLAIMER: i like baboons
And do you see them minding their kids in stores? No fucking way. The kids are let loose to run around and paw anything that isn’t tied down. No offense to these new parents, no one is perfect, but I’m pretty sure I wasn’t allowed to touch anything when we went into a store.
And also, apparently it is ok to put a kid INTO a shopping cart at the grocery store nowadays. Whats up with that?
Fences make good neighbors.
you know something o.p., i had a conversation of almost the same type last night with a friend. we agreed that parents give anything the kid wants, to them. no more going out to earn the money to pay for it. what the fuck has society become, that we as parents have to give anything and everything to them free? with no responsibility to use in a nice way, they just figure the parents will get them new shit, if and when they destroy the stuff they already have.
another thing that really pisses me off, are the people who toss useble furniture and things in the trash. fuck sakes, there is always someone wanting this stuff. as long as it is in usable shape, there is always the furiture banks or kijiji. too many times have i seen really nice stuff sitting in a dumpster, or broken so that no one else can ever use it. i know thei is a disposible world, but come the fuck on.
i happened to be out for a walk with my little one last night, and we saw a box on the side of the road, by titus playgtound. fearing what could be in it, i opened it up. wow, i found a reasure trove of country record l.p.’s. about 20 video tapes, dvd’s, and even a fucking walkie talkis set. we had fun with that til she went to bed. come on people, remember the 3 r’s, reduce, reuse, or recycle.
i should also mention that where i live in fairview, there is minimum noise, the occasional kid going thru driveway, and a siren once in awhile, but that is city living. you don’t have to, or shouldn’t have to run away to the country to find a fairly quiet place to live. i hate a lot of noise myself, and in the 8 years that i have lived here, i can honestly say that it is tame, compaed to most parts of the city.
a girl moved in down the hall from me a month ago, and she asked me if apts. were sound proofed. i told her no. she then asked if no one in here or close by made much noise, again no. she could not believe how serene it is most of the time, even in the middle of summer. and no guys, no vacations for people around here.
but you go where you want peace, then go for it, i have found mine here.
Even worse I had a similar kid who practically lived at my house and everytime she visited the words “I’m Hungry” inevitably poured out of her mouth. Her parents were very well to do, had good Federal government jobs and a nice home. Of course, I fed this poor girl cuz thats just how I am. But on a particular trying day at work and wanting to come home and relax with my family this young lady shows up on cue just before dinner and those words once again spilled out of her mouth, I sent her home saying that we were going to have dinner soon and that she should probably go home as her mother was probably (not) preparing her dinner. She went home crying and we get a visit from the dad who was out drinking after playing his weekly round of golf. He went off on us on how we treated her daughter and how she came home crying. I escorted him to the door and politlely told him that his daughter would never be treated that way again, because she was never welcome back in our home again. Fuck off see you later!
O yeah, it is a normal occurrence nowadays. My daughter feeds and provides free babysitting to several neighbour’s kids. There is seldom anyone home and the kids are at her house for 4-5 hours at a time. The parents if you can call them that are dope smokers and couldn’t care less about their kids. The kids don’t say much so I guess they are taught to shut up at home. And then people wonder why there is such an increase in juvenile delinquency and anger management problems in kids. I think the reason most of the kids are born is to suck more money out of the system for the parents. Wise up parents and take care of your kids or put them up for adoption for people who actually WANT children.
there are people that actually WANT children?
I thought kids were just punishments for people not being careful enough.
Fire: Maybe in your case you were your parent’s punishment but some of us value our children. In your case, ummmmmm no………….
A lot of parents these days seem to lack the courage of conviction, to follow through on discipline because it will be difficult. This includes reining them in while their friends are out running the roads.
The challenges of raising kids these has been beaten to death on this site but my main feeling regarding kids is to provide stability and consistency.Keep boundaries established and try to instill a sense of responsibility at the earliest possible age. Above all however is love. Your child is important and should feel that way.