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To the plethora of incompetent cyclists in HRM. It’s one thing that you endanger pedestrians by riding your bike on the sidewalk but do you have to dress like you’re Lance Goddamned Armstrong when you do? It’s embarrassing for us both. —”The Clothesliner”
This article appears in Dec 8-14, 2011.
19 Comments
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ah, the perfector of the men’s camel toe…
such aspirations.
Everybody, quick… cut off one ball… you’ll be aerodynamic!
LOL. There is just something so funny about the pretentious bike riding that goes on in this city.
Oooooh that was SO inappropriate, zed.
Hilarious.
But in such poor taste.
heh.
How does one bicycle pretentiously? Just curious.
Cranks there are a couple of ways that come to mind.
1. Antique bike with giant-ass wicker basket filled with groceries (making sure all the healthy ones are on the top so people can see how awesome you are)
2. Dressing like Lance Armstrong while you cycle on the sidewalk. Of course OP already covered that one.
Mind you.. there was this incredibly hot guy i kept running into all summer. And he was doing the whole wicker basket filled with produce thing. But i wanted to pork him so i let it slide.
the guy’s team *allegedly* drew blood regularly well before a race so they could take all those delicious steroids like Chris Benoit on a bender….
and then use a dialysis machine to pump all the clean blood back in for race day….
for YEARS… to cheat the biggest globally known bike race to date…
and what I SAID was inappropriate?????
whatever.
I wasn’t accusing, I was just saying it was one of those bad jokes that are funny nonetheless.
Sheesh.
You must need a bigger tampon, zed.
Oh boy, a did Lance Armstrong dope or not debate on LTWWB, like I’m not tired of that in real life.
zZz quoted Robin Williams Live on Broadway:
(talking about Lance Armstrong..”And every year the French go, (French accent) ‘He is on chemicals.’ And I’m going, ‘It’s chemotherapy, you little toad suckers.’ ‘Okay, he has one testicle, he’s aerodynamic. Everyone, cut off your balls. You’ll be quicker. Do it. Don’t be afraid.’
most of us unpretentious types don’t incessantly talk about how we cycle to work every day and eat only organic, local grown food while keeping the carbon footprint to a minimum….
this debate almost NEVER comes up in my everyday life.
I say almost because it has… I think twice thus far….
anyhoo…. I’m changing my tampon now….
I’m opting for the vodka soaked one.
Gotta keep making these days interesting you see…
that’s right…
THAT’S where I heard it….
thankx. couldn’t quite remember.
And kudos to I_K for her use of the word “pork” as a verb. lol I haven’t heard that since the late ’80’s. I almost snorted coffee out my nose when I read that. lol
the other white verb
lol @ painy
But they bought all that awsome bicycle gear at cyclesmith, that’s how you know they’re cool!!
PS; men… buy some package padding, nobody wants to see your junk!
OB, play a game of it and try to knock them off their bikes on the sidewalks. They are supposed to be on the road (for cars to target).
I see sabastian thumbs downed my comment, sorry buddy, I guess nobody but you wants to see their junk!!
avast you will be pleased to know everyone is saying it. I heard it on facebook and thought “if there is a better euphemism for sex, i have yet to hear it.”