Been feeling pretty lonely lately. And it’s not a true lonely feeling I suppose as I have friends, and family. More of a yearning for something else…yearning for a different life perhaps? I’ve always wanted to meet The One. Share my life with them, mutual respect and love, the whole sha-bang. It just constantly feels like I’m waiting. Sure I’ve met a few I deeply loved, especially the one that got away…but yet the best I feel is soon to come. Well maybe not soon, but in the definite future. I hope at least, but every guy in Halifax that I’ve met are nothing but broken promises and faces blurred in my memory. Some I hate, some I miss, and some I long to be still in their lives. It’s not like I’m ugly, I have the heart and compassion and yearn to want to please someone. But yet men’s eyes, dicks and hearts wander…heh I don’t blame you all…given the state of most Halifax ‘girls’…and I use the word girl not woman. Women don’t run around sleeping with every Tom Dick Harry and John they meet. Ladies ladies, have some respect. YOU’RE the reason men lose respect for women. Sometimes I wish I were born in a different era. Did you know the first time women really wore shorts in public a bunch of men were so distracted there was a car accident? There has to be more than physical attraction. I’m sick of men basing their opinions on looks. Heh I sound like one ugly mofo but nope not today! —Hiraeth, the impossible
This article appears in Mar 26 – Apr 1, 2015.
THE MIND OF THE OTHER
“There has to be more than physical attraction. I’m sick of men basing their opinions on looks.” Hiraeth, the impossible
Since we are a sexed species the attraction between the female and the male will, at least initially, be based on looks. It is “nature’s way” of propagating the species. However, it not need to continue that way.
What you must do is cultivate your mind. You must come to think philosophically by which I mean engaging the Mind of the Other. This can be practiced here on the bitchboard by listening to the Mind of the Other, if any, in his words. Engage him by questioning the assumptions underlying his assertions. If he has no mind or is a simple sight-hound – they are equivalent concepts – this will quickly become evident. The same applies in real life. Good luck.
A pleasure as always,
Cheerio!
Find yourself a chubby, 30 year old virgin man that still lives with his parents. Let him sniff your panties and you own his ass for life.
Really!? Really though?
^^^ SHITMD said, “Find yourself a chubby, 30 year old virgin man that still lives with his parents. Let him sniff your panties and you own his ass for life. “
SHITMD, are you offering yourself to the bitcher? If so, that sort of lewd proposal will not be tolerated on this board. I’m telling on you! Moderator, SHITMD is a very, very bad boy!
Sweetie, take some advice from Auntie Angel here.
Ya gotta do two things:
1. You have to be crystal clear about who/what you include and exclude in your life. Dubious friends and lousy exes? Gotta cut your ties. Open your life only to people of quality–people who are good, kind, and uplifting to be around. Remember, every friend you have has friends, plus brothers, cousins, co-workers etc. If your friends are quality folks, the most of the people in their extended circles will be interesting to meet as well. Most importantly, forget about the ones that didn’t work out. They’ve done you a favour by freeing you up to meet “The One.”
2. At the risk of sounding a bit calculating, you have to keep in mind that it is a bit of a numbers game. If you live in a town with two eligible suitors, well, it could very well be that neither of them is a good match for you. In a bigger place, you have to do things that put you in contact with potential mates–go where the men go. Do things that will allow you to meet them. (Sports and physical fitness is one good venue, because those activities attract a lot people who have interests, ambition, and who take care of themselves.).
Also, despite my screen name, I’m not much of a religious person, but if there is a church with an approach you can agree with, and maybe a decent choir worth joining, I can guarantee that you could meet up with some very interesting, and very family-oriented people. Just remember that any organization (sports, church, educational, work) is always a mixed bag–there will always be good people as well as jerks in any group bigger than 1. So, as always, be clear about who you are, what you want, and don’t make time for the losers.)
My cousin met her husband in her Power Engineering course at Community College–she was one of the few gals in a class normally filled with guys. Not only did they hit it off and fall in love, they both ended up getting great jobs at the same company after graduation–and both of them earned a very high starting wage right out of school. Pretty good foundation for any new couple!
And yes, by respecting yourself you will screen out the jerks and attract the good guys. (But please don’t wish for the return of past eras–those times presented very different problems for both men and women that many people have worked hard to remedy (often risking their lives in the process) so that we could have more freedoms and choices today.)
Oh, and physical attraction is important–but that means a lot more than just looks. Of course if people are to spend time together they have to like what they see, but a large part of physical attraction is a mysterious thing called chemistry. It’s that combination of appearance, style, scent, movement, personality, touch, sensuality, shared values, etc., that makes a person absolutely irresistible.
Chemistry (or lack thereof) is why online dating has such a low success rate (and also why so many people find random hookups so profoundly unsatisfying). People are simply not entirely attracted simply by photos and lists of features and interests. It’s chemistry that attracts people to one another, and makes them fall in love–“forming a bond” in a very real sense of the word.
Chemistry is the reason why you have to meet people in person if you want to fall in love.
(And if this means literally signing up for a chemistry lab class with a lot of guys in it, then you should try that too. It never hurts to expand your own education.)
Whatever, Egghead, I don’t live with my mom.
WHAT IS CHEMISTRY?
RSVP Angel of the Tarsands(04/03, 8:51PM)
“… a large part of falling in love is a mysterious thing called chemistry.”
“It’s chemistry that attracts people to one another and makes them fall in love …”
“Chemistry is the reason why you have to meet people in person if you want to fall in love.”
Is there conceptual confusion here? We learn first that chemistry is a substance, a “mysterious thing,” which is part of a process, the process of “falling in love.” But how can a substance be part of a process? Also, if chemistry is a “mysterious process” it cannot, by definition, be explained, the very thing you set out to do. Can you explain that?
We learn next that chemistry “makes people fall in love” but are you invoking a mechanical determinism here? Have the people themselves no say in the matter? Is it out of their hands? Can you explain that?
But, confusingly, you go on to maintain that people do, in fact, have a say in the matter. Indeed, they are in complete control since they may well “want to fall in love.” So chemistry is, at one time, both a matter of mechanical determinism and a volitional exercise. But is this possible? And what could wanting to fall in love possibly mean? Could you explain that?
Finally, you abandon the metaphorical meaning of “chemistry” for its literal significance by suggesting that if females want to fall in love they should sign up for a chemistry class. Could that “mysterious thing” be replicated in a test-tube? What are the ingredients? Could you explain that?
Write back soon.
A pleasure as always,
Cheerio!