Ended the summer with a very relaxing bicycle ride. I had gone to one of our usual trails/woods with two friends. None of us brought mud guards because of how dry its been and there wasn’t rain in the forecast. As we are just headed into the trail I notice a big pile of raccoon crap smack-dab right in the middle of trail. I thought it was from a dog at first and their owners are notorious for not picking up at this area. So yup, it was from a raccoon and whats worse is theres another pile five feet in front of it. Well it was getting dark after a few hours of riding but the amazing amount of raccoon poop wasn’t, that’s for sure. So let me tell you driving a bike through raccoon shit and having it get struck to your back wheel and flung all over your seat (the bikes and your ass) and all up your back isn’t fun. One of my friends even got a bit in her hair. The mudguards certainly wouldv’e helped out alot but then I get to thinking don’t our takes pay for park patrols in the woods and stuff? Shouldn’t these men and women be cleaning up after animals too? A dog poops and it eventually at some point by someone gets cleared up, so why not raccoons? I even think the municipality could benefit from installing garbage cans where people actually go. Heck I see one every ten feet downtown but not a one in parks. —Even my car seat stinks now
This article appears in Sep 4-10, 2014.
Were there berries in it?
Write a letter to Kathleen Wynne, Nukka.
Or try riding you mudguardless fixie around Sullivans Pond. Enjoy that green gooseshit bukkake.
2 Raccoons 1 Cup.
How dare a raccoon shit in the woods without bringing a Sobey’s bag with it to clean up its mess. Fuck talk about entitled cyclists.
and you know it was raccoon shit, how again?
I think the problem is that The Raccoons don’t have the thumbs/dexterity to tie the Sobeys back into a knot and hang the bag of shit from the nearest tree, to be forgotten about until the end of time.
Anyway, then there’s this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4c7m-EhQhFU
how do you know it was raccoon poop? did you do a due south and taste it?
raccoons have MORE than enough manual dexterity to tie a bag. more so than some of the cretins who drag their dogs along the trail by a leash so they have to poop on the trail.
jesus fucking christ are we really complaining about wild animals shitting in their natural habitat now?
No, your ‘takes’ (or your ‘gives’) do not pay for people to be wash room clean up attendants for wild life. And neither do your taxes. If you go out into what still passes for wild or semi wild areas expect to come across wild creatures or at least their scat. Now that you know such mounds can be on the trails put your mud guards back on your bike and bring a small shovel with you. Perhaps you and your posse should invest in hazmat suits, or at least a bandana for your friend’s hair. After all you seems want to bike in the outdoors not a video game. Oh, the humanity. FFS.
Dumbest fake bitch ever.
Who the fuck is Kathleen Wynne? Is she the premier of Sullivan’s Pond?