For everyone who has used internet sites to meet people (for friendship to intimate dates) – Isn’t it frustrating when people on there won’t be upfront and real?
You know who I mean:
“Hi, nice profile, I am maybe we can get to know each other. Do you have any pictures? Talk to you soon!”
It really means:
“Hi – I don’t feel like using porn sites, I’d rather collect clothed pictures of people I meet online who I pretend to care about, then once I have their pictures they will never hear from me again!”
Really, get a life… people don’t create a profile for you to ogle over. I don’t at least.
I have a boyfriend now and have been told time and time again (not just by him) that I am a good catch. I am online now to meet friends and females (since I am bi).
In public, everyone checks me out – whether I like it or not, and I try to be a positive person overall, but when I say I will be online later to chat further with you (and will use my webcam to show what I look like). Thanks for not showing up – then messaging the next day asking again for pictures. Really nice. Why did you add me to MSN when you have no intention of using it?
Better yet are the people who I email, and they read/delete… I make a point of responding to everyone who contacts me. If someone takes the time to write me a message, the least I can do is respond.
Anyway – if you do this, grow up! I don’t have this mountain of available time to spend talking to dead-end crazies like you…
This article appears in May 8-14, 2008.
I think online personals and similar online websites are the last places you should expect proper ettiquitte. However, you CAN expect to find a whole ‘lotta perverts and weirdos. No offense.
Here’s the thing…..Some “online daters” are juggling several people. Either because they are serial daters, Nigerian scammers ( or Russian scammers), or they are an ass and are trying to figure out which one is the BBD ( bigger, better, deal ).And, honey, the SCAMMERS want as many pictures of you as possible. They may not get any money out of you……but, they will post your picture on other sites, create a name, profile…etc. and use it to scam others. And when the person they are talking to asks if they have any more pictures..well, yes they do, if you let them have more than one.( Makes them look real)Next time you are talking to a cute guy or girl, ask yourself if “maybe” it might just be a little toothless black man in a cyber cafe somewhere in W. Africa.Unfortunatly, there are very few people online dating that are even close to normal. These are people who just don’t get out much.But the majority…OMG!!!Think of it like this: If you are a reasonably attractive, somewhat intellegent person,…..chances are, there are people trying to hook you up with someone. Co-workers, family, friends, ….you name it.But, if you are “difficult”, or have other bad qualities…..NADA…..so, you go online.My ex had a profile you wouldn’t believe. Social drinker, my ass.He also left out the part about choking me and being such a piss poor human being he doesn’t pay child support and has “supervised” visitation. ( He claimed he was great with kids….lol) And, he forgot to mention his METH problem.I feel bad for the poor girl who answers his ad…..but at least he isn’t MY problem any more.Good luck with your search….
Never used on-line dating sites and hopefully I won’t ever have to… But I’ll bet Homie has some pearls of wisdom he is just itching to share…
A gal I know has been on plenty-o-fish for quite a while and she has met I’m guessing 50+ guys… The “current” guy is almost always “the one” until she finds out something about him that was not as originally stated… My favourite story she tells is about the guy she asked on line how tall are you… He said 5’5″, she says thats a little short but OK and they agree to meet… When he shows up at her house, she says no way you are 5 fucking 5… grabs him and flings him up against the door jam… Out with the measuring tape… He wasn’t a hair over 4’11″… And out the door he went…Now sure that is humiliating and all, but I am left wondering, did he actually think that she wouldn’t notice????
Why why why do people lie, especially when it’s inevitable that they’ll be caught…Poor little fucker though. 4’11”? That’s like a really tall midget.
If only he had a flat head to set her beer on…But the lying thing… Why start off with that shit… I figure you would be better off being a bit understated rather than overstated… At least then the surprise would be an improvement, instead of a disappointment…
I met my b/f of three years now on POF. I met and/or dated guys prior to that for a year.I am not ugly or a loser. Online dating was a convenience. I was not looking for the one, rather, to have some fun and date some guys that otherwise would be time consuming to get out and meet. Online, the guys put themselves out there, you pick what you like, and then move forward with more conversation before meeting. If you can’t weed out the losers that is your problem.I met many great nice good looking guys and some ok guys. The best one ended up my boyfriend. We have a lot in common but have our own interests. Our families mesh and we really have a great future together.It was like real-life bachelorette!Of course I was honest and told men when it wasn’t exclusive dating. Of course these dates did not last more than one or twice. Its OK to date several people as long as you are honest. Imagine the time I saved by going online to meet men rather then the bar! When you are in university and working two jobs it is dream come true!!Girls, POF can be your best friend if you are smart and cautious. There are tons of hot and nice guys on there.I am walking away with my positive experiences. There were some pervs but it was easy to tell who they were. If a guy only wants a photo and its all he talks about then lose him. I built up convo before proceeding with a picture.PLUS on POF guys are local. Keep fishing. You will get what you want as long as you are yourself and honest with the men.All the best
I was surprised by some of the racist comments in this stream.namely”Nigerian scammers ( or Russian scammers)”and”Next time you are talking to a cute guy or girl, ask yourself if “maybe” it might just be a little toothless black man in a cyber cafe somewhere in W. Africa.”This attitude is not acceptable. Lots of the weridos online are white and from here. And lots of people from W. Africa are just the sort of people one might want to be talking with.
Not that I would ever defend racism Maggie, but I think you might be reading a bit too much into this one. The Nigerian and Russian scammers I think refers to the common e-mail scam that has been circulating for years and probably has made its way to online dating sites as well. And I don’t think the idea of a Black nigerian is particularly shocking or offensive…the toothless part was to add to the weirdo factor. The point was that you don’t really know what you are getting on the internet. The white (and whatever colour) weirdo locals you mention would probably be included in the “serial daters” or “ass…trying to find BBD”. No racism there to me.
No, the image of a Black Nigerian isn’t offensive. But to use that image as the antithesis to a cute guy or girl or to use a black sterotype to epitomize the description of werido is very offensive. Perhaps we are not reading closely enough.
maggie, im black. Not offended, didnt read that much into this.I am well aware of the scam they pull in nigeria. They use that country as it has little to no internet scam laws. Hence that country being used. It was on Dateline and that dude that catches the pedophiles, confronted some Nigerian that was the head of the scam. Read to much into this one maggie.
maggie, is it was a slender, perfect teeth, black scam artist from Nigeria, would the post have the same meaning?