I’ve learned many valuable lessons while at art school, but this very important one tops the list: Dumping a frozen cube of your boyfriend’s ejaculate into a cup of warm water and watching it melt may constitute an “A+” in some professor’s books. But one thing is for sure. You’re a fucking asshole. Have fun jerking guys off for a living. —The Girl with Talent
This article appears in Feb 16-22, 2012.


perhaps it was not the boyfriend’s sperm
This is one NSCAD grad that I DON’T want to see working at my neighborhood barStux. >: (
How would you determine that Painey? To misquote “Spinal Tap” – “You can’t exactly dust for spooge”
Did she drink it for bonus points?
PG, maybe it was the Prof’s nut-balm …. hmmm, definitely an A+ worthy project.
Any wonder why the province wants to close the Arse-school…… Not Sure Courses Are Degree-worthy (NSCAD).
I wonder if she’s a server here http://www.thecoast.ca/LovetheWayWeBitch/a…
yuck and skip the sauce du jour
jealous.
You need to learn to be pretentious OP. You need to learn to disguise pointless poserism as being an activity that has depth and meaning. Or, in short, artists are businessmen first.
This is NSCAD.
If elephant shit can be considered art why not this? Of course neither is art.
ah, yes, performance art.
For an A, She’d have to let it melt around her neck or something…Maybe squirt it on her face and then freeze it?
or Consider Laurie Anderson, who, when in collage strapped on ice skates encased in ice and played the violin until the ice melted. If the sperm was frozen in the water of Laurie Anderson’s ice skate water, then it would be art.
http://bodytracks.org/2009/06/laurie-ander…
I’ve been waiting for an opportunity to use this, and now I have found that opportunity: http://vest.deviantart.com/journal/Truth-i…
the only lesson you really learn at art school, is that you shouldn’t have taken it.
What the hell kind of trifflin’ … oh heavens … I’ve heard it all. Y’all 1st world people … I swear.
Shouldn’t her bf and freezer get the award … …
(I hesitate to say this) … but … to each their own …
*shivers*
I heard she tried desparately to love him but, to no avail. He was just “Cold as Ice” ! (Ahhhhhh! Wakka Wakka!!)
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/6…
DIY cryogenic sperm bank….you’re doing it wrong! lol (ba-dum-ching!)
Alright…I’ll stop now. (…and I’m spent!) *snicker snort*
WHAT IS ART?
“art, n. – the production or expression of what is beautiful, appealing, or of more than ordinary significance.” (The American College Dictionary)
Reflecting on the three categories of that which constitutes art I think, in the present case – that of a frozen cube of the boyfriend’s sperm – falls into the last, i.e., “the production or expression of that which is of more than ordinary significance.”
The question then comes down to whether, or not a cube of her boyfriend’s frozen sperm constitutes an object of more than ordinary significance for the girlfriend. One would think that this question must be answered in the affirmative.
Then the issue devolves to this: Even if a cube of her boyfriend’s frozen sperm constitutes an object of more than ordinary significance for the girlfriend, must it, in order to properly be considered “art,” appeal to a wider audience beyond that of the girlfriend herself. Or, regardless of the widespread appeal of the cube of the boyfriend’s frozen sperm, is it to be considered “art” by qualities inherent in the object itself, that is, the cube of the boyfriend’s frozen sperm as a free-standing object?
This, finally, raises the question as to just what those inherent qualities might be. I simply raise the question, but make no attempt to answer it.
A pleasure as always.
Cheerio!
I read somewhere that if you put your genital juice on your neck you’ll attract a sex partner. When I was single, before I would go out in public I would wackoff and rub my cum on my neck. One day I went to the grocery store and met my girlfriend, she said I smelled good.
Is this cubism? I thought cubism was something different. Hell, what do I know!
what about the girl who made a living selling portraits painted with her asshole? Seriously, her art school friend would paint lipstick on her butthole and then transfer it to a kleenex and sign them “kelly’s butthole” and frame them and they sold em online for like a hundred bucks a pop. I read an article about it. Goes to show, you can think up the most asinine idea and there’s always some idiot who’ll appreciate it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iIb34oA7Q-Q
LMFAO @ “cubism”. Trood F.T.W.
speaking of art and shit, have anyone actually been watching telly lately? i haven’t, but was at a friends place the other night, and the fucking shit, that is on there. seems to be, anyone with a video camera can make and sell a stupid show to some of the networks. my fuck, parking wars, repo games, op. repo, wifeswapping shows, and of course, the non real reality shows. fuck, am i glad that i have internet t.v.
none of that crap is even on there. i can see a few things that appeal to me, like the auction shows at the storage places. but those picker ones, my fuck.and then there are the fix it up shows, the stupid food shows, holy fuck. this material is a bitch in itself.
please networks, if you want people to watch t.v., then get rid of most of these idiotic shows. the only ones worth watching are the crime shows and some cartoons. and even they are getting too fucking stupid. notice that i did not say retarded anywhere except there.
think i’ll grab me old video cam, go out looking for piles of dogshit, and sell it to fox, or abc, or maybe even atv. they have a lot of other shit on there, so why not the real stuff too.
Suckster, your critique of contemporary culture makes Chumlee sad…
http://www.history.com/images/media/slides…
Ummm… Maybe it’s my lack of arts background, but I fail to see even the slightest hint of even experimental value in this “experiment”, let alone any artistic talent. This also “begs the question” of, how long it takes to fill an ice cube tray with spooge.
this show is funny, copied from the brits http://www.justseenit.com/movie_posters/ha…
at least they weren’t ‘milking’ a cat….
still.. that degree sounds useless.
WHAT IS ART? (II)
RSVP
: Stephen Harper (Feb. 21, 8:47AM)
“… I fail to see even the slightest hint of even experimental value in this ‘experiment,’ let alone any artistic talent.”
I’ve just come over from “Logic 101” where I resolved certain logical cramps to check out the latest on “Nut Jobs.” I think Stephen has raised an interesting point which requires, in my pedantic fashion, greater scrutiny. The question boils down to this: Does Stephen’s failure to see any value or talent in the frozen cube of the boyfriend’s sperm invalidate it as art? Stephen seems to think so, but must his view prevail?
In my previous post (“What is Art?”) I raised the question whether the girlfriend’s view of the frozen cube of her boyfriend’s sperm as having more than ordinary significance validated it as art. Assuming that it would have more than ordinary significance for the girlfriend, particularly if the frozen cube of sperm still retained its generative qualities, how is the dilemma between the girlfriend and Stephen to be resolved? This is a difficult question.
If art is just a matter of subjective opinion then either anything can count as art if one person claims that it is or, alternatively, nothing can count as art if one person claims that it is not. Or is it a matter of majority vote? But where does this leave the frozen cube of sperm? Some may say it doesn’t matter, that the question as to what is art is just a matter of opinion or taste and one opinion or taste is as good as any another. But is this true? Or is there a higher “court of appeal” where conflicting views such as Stephen’s and the girlfriend’s might be adjudicated and if so, on what basis does this higher court of appeal rest its authority?
Is such authority knowledge-based? But this presupposed that art has a “cogitive core” which itself is open to question. On the other hand, is the authority of the court of appeal based on some form of artistic insight possessed only by the “adepts” and if so, is this insight coherently explicable to the rest of us? Or is what to count as art culturally determined, that is, what is art for one culture may not be art for another. Does this mean that art is irredeemably fragmented along cultural lines? But where does this leave the girlfriend, Stephen, and that lonely little cube of frozen sperm?
Anyway, I hope you have enjoyed reading this post as much as I have writing it. I have explained why I have enjoyed writing posts in general on “Logic 101” and will not repeat it here.
A pleasure as always.
Cheerio!
Gee, MM, you’ve asked a lot of questions, but given no answers. I think you’re really scraping the bottom of the philosophical barrel, trolling a sarcastic post. What I would like to know though, do the lawyers and judges in the court of art wear those cool, white, curly wigs? I look forward to your PowerPoint presentation on what constitutes art, be sure to use lots of quotations, and don’t forget to footnote.
..btw ..the video I posted has a dual pertinence ..as 10cc ..is the amount of actual sperm in the average cum shot..:)
thanks for the explanation, clever cookerguy
..I’m not as stoopid..as i usually ..umm…look? 🙂
Steve – If all he does is ask questions, he can’t be wrong (you know how Montremoleman hates to be proven wrong), but if he makes a statement, well that’s a different matter alltogether.
WHAT IS ART? (III)
RSVP
: Stephen Harper (Feb. 21, 1:51PM)
“I think you’re really scraping the bottom of the philosophical barrel, trolling sarcastic posts.”
Well, Stephen, I’m sorry you think I’m scraping the bottom of the philosophical barrel and trolling sarcastic posts. (An interesting metaphor, Stephen, the “philosophical barrel,” but I won’t pursue it here.) Anyway, as I mentioned over on “Logic 101” I do enjoy spoofing the questions but, and this is important Stephen, I also mentioned that any worthwhile spoof must have its serious side to give it an “edge” if you take my meaning. So as far as the question “WHAT IS ART? (II)” goes, I can tell you now that I was on the “serious side.”
If you want my honest opinion Stephen, and it seems you clearly do, I think that since art reflects the culture in which it is found – that is why, in my opinion, much of oriental art is meaningless for the occidental observer – the current confusion regarding art reflects the current state of our cultural confusion generally. I think we are in a period of cultural transformation in which previous certainties, whether philosophical, religious, political, and so on, are undergoing fundamental change, and perhaps not for the better. Put differently, we live in a secular, populist, materialist, utilitarian and competitive milieu in which the criteria of artistic forms of whatever sort become vague and ill-defined. Many claim that art itself is irrelevant. So this leaves us with the original question, the artistic status of the cube of frozen sperm.
While I do not think the cube of frozen sperm constitutes art, I also think it is difficult to say just why it doesn’t. I don’t think that just anything constitutes art but I think it is equally difficult to draw the line dogmatically between art and non-art. Perhaps in order for something to be generally accepted as art a certain cultural dogmatism is required and this is just what we currently lack, at least in any homogeneous form. I guess whatever one defines as art is ultimately a function of one’s philosophical perspective but, of course, such perspectives are not monolithic, are not universally accepted or even perhaps generally shared. And, of course, many do not even know of what their philosophical perspective consists or even, for that matter, that they have one at all. In sum, Stephen, I think we live in an age of uncertainty and this is deadly for any current and firmly-held belief in what art, properly conceived, must consist.
So there you have it, Stephen. I wasn’t being sarcastic and wasn’t trolling, but I do think the topic is worth discussing. I hope you agree.
A pleasure as awlays.
Cheerio!
http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ljo5j864…
RSVPs
: Xenophilia (Feb. 21, 6:25PM)
Xeno, that was very disappointing from one who, one supposes, aspires to some degree of intellectual pre-eminence. Of course, the quotation in the cartoon was a degenerate spin-off from Henry Miller’s famous saying, “When I hear the word culture, I reach for my revolver.” However Miller stood as his own refutation, i.e., he advanced himself as a proponent of one who is “culture-free” but, as George Orwell rightly said (“Inside the Whale”), Miller was the “voice from the 3rd. class carriage.” First class or third class, culture is still culture.
You must do better next time, Xeno. We are, of course, still waiting to hear from Stephen.
A pleasure as always.
Cheerio!
Yes, Moman, I am aware of the original saying but I couldn’t find a good image, or rather I had not the inclination to sift through more than a few dozen examples…
Being aware of this contemporary, ironic revisit to the statement, however, I thought; well, why the hell not?
Personally, I think both student and prof are whacked … but as Donk says, to each their own. Let’s just be thankful she’s not a student of the culinary arts and making spunk flavoured ice cream … because if that were to be presented as a project and receive an A+, then I would walk naked through Parade Square. But, if breast milk ice cream has a place on the market … who the fuck knows … I better get my ass back into the gym.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-londo…
hmmm cream of sum yung guy sorbet…:)
Cooker dude … you gonna give that a go? Dunno how well it would ‘stick’ ’round these parts.
well I’m thinking with the right marketing..yea know..start working it slow..than a little more intense..i thinkin it’ll explode on the scene ;)..
Well then, I suppose it would be rude if I didn’t wish you much success. 😉
So many things running through my mind right now, but that is where they’re gonna stay.
..oh yes ..it would be the height of non decorum …in keeping with the ..how you say ..upstanding subject ..fer shore 😉
RSVP
: Xenophilia (Feb. 21, 8:12PM)
“Being aware of this contemporary, ironic revisit to the statement…”
Good morning, dear. Just reading over your post and was a bit puzzled as to its meaning. Perhaps it’s the early hour (7:50AM) but I wasn’t sure if you were referring to the checkbook or the revolver and, secondly, just how it was “ironic.” As I say, I realize the failing is mine and, duly humble, I seek your tutelage.
Are you a fan of Henry Miller? I have been for years after reading his “Tropic of Cancer” about his hardscrabble years in the Paris of the 1930’s. I bought it in Paris some time ago, – yes sometime ago – and it blew me away. I still have it on my bookshelf. I subsequently read (or indeed have) all of his other stuff but most, in my view, never reached the heights (or depths) of “Tropic of Cancer.” (Possibly “Black Spring.”) However, as with my last post (“What is Art? III”), I think I would have difficulty in explaining just why this is so. I’ve always intended to visit his place on Big Sur (“Big Sur and Golden Apples of Hieronymous Bosch”) but, so far at least, have never made it. Anyway, I’d be interested in hearing your views on Miller if you have any.
Haven’t heard from Stephen yet. I imagine he’s beavering away preparing his masterpiece on the nature of art.
A pleasure as always.
Cheerio!