To the three dudes who fucked me over this last year: Don’t kiss, have sex with, or pursue someone if you’re not able to handle a relationship with them that comes as a consequence of extended intimacy. Of course feelings naturally arise from all of those things, and never at any point was I all, “Settle down and marry me.” I’m just a single girl looking for some respect and good times. But when that turns into something more because it’s completely encouraged by you, don’t shirk all responsibility for my feelings. Men suck. I’m such a great person who is hot and nice and thoughtful and smart… and yet I keep allowing emotionally unavailable dudes to repeat these patterns over and over. Well, that’s ending now. Men: don’t start something you can’t see through and leave me the hell out of it. —Just be a Man About It
This article appears in Apr 21-27, 2011.
That suck, OP. There *are* great guys out there, you just have to sift through the crap to find them.
Some people just panic when things get “real”. I just had someone break up with me *by email* because she panicked.
Meh. There *are* good ones out there. They just have to find each other.
And ignore the Troll. It’s bitter and wants to ruin this for everyone.
There are good people out there. Maybe you’re just giving out the “milk” too quickly.
Maybe you should stop fucking men without knowing exactly where both of you stand.
And you’ll never know exactly where he stands by making assumptions based on his actions, (Oh, he cuddled after sex, he must really want to date me!) fucking ask him outright. What you see as him “completely encouraging” he might see as just being nice or part of the casual deal. Kissing, having sex, and perusing someone isn’t necessarily evidence of wanting to date them.
“don’t shirk all responsibility for my feelings” Take responsibility for your own god damned feelings, no one but you is responsible for them. If you know that a relationship is what you want and that you’re feelings will get hurt if it drags on too long and then ends in rejection, then it’s your responsibility to ask him if he’s looking for a relationship right now BEFORE you get too emotionally invested. And if he’s not you need to end it with him and look elsewhere.
“and yet I keep allowing emotionally unavailable dudes to repeat these patterns over and over.” Good! I’m glad you realize that this is something that YOU are allowing and not…
“Men: don’t start something you can’t see through and leave me the hell out of it.”
…FUUUCK
Leave yourself the hell out of it.
At what point do you start to look inward and think… maybe its me?
Sounds like they decided that you weren’t the girl for them, but opening your legs is your choice so don’t blame them for getting some poon before moving on.
The problem is, sometimes, is you don’t want to appear clingy and you don’t want to be direct because you don’t want to freak them out (even if you won’t). I think a lot of people are afraid of this and afraid of looking like idiots by letting themselves be vulnerable to someone who may not feel the same way.
I think that’s a ridiculous train of thought, but it’s a common one, unfortunately.
OP this will change when you start dating men instead of boys.
Of course, mere years don’t make one a man and sadly many boys never become men.
Good luck in your quest for a man.
Also: she broke up with you over EMAIL, wheelie?
WHAT
THE
FUCK?
Ok. Now I want to go punch this bitch in the box.
For realz.
Are people THAT socially inept these days that they can’t even give someone the fucking courtesy of a fucking face-to-face conversation when they’re ending a relationship?
OMFGWTFBBQ.
But I’m sure she still wants to be friends…
le sigh
Any of my LovelyBitchLadies here want a slightly used Wheelie?
The way I see it, if someone doesn’t reciprocate your feelings, so be it. But you’ll never find out if you don’t ask. That said, if you’re one who generally wears their heart on their sleeve you should likely take lessons in thickening your skin a bit.
You know the excerpt from Tennyson’s “In Memoriam A.H.H.”?
“‘Tis better to have love and lost
Than never to have loved at all…..”
This can be applied to all things relationship-wise. Would you prefer to go through life NOT knowing things, even if they could potentially harm you? Or would you rather know and understand, thereby making you stronger and more experienced? Sure, you’ll experience more pain this way.. but knowledge lasts much longer than pain. And it’s not like I don’t know what I am talking about.
Men don’t suck… (metaphorically) and we all, as human beings, crave intimacy albeit on many different levels. Some are simply satisfied with physical intimacy while others prefer to let it sink much deeper than that. Part of being a consenting adult is to get a general idea into which level your partner is at.
That said, there are definitely men out there that are devious and manipulative. They will follow any act in order to get what they want…. (which is obviously confined to physical intimacy) In these cases I sympathize for you and only hope that the experiences raising the necessity for this bitch come to an end for you right here. Because there are definitely STELLAR guys out there….. like wheelie!!!!!!
BitchBoard Blind Date.
I like it. Let’s make it happen.
Try it ladies – he’s cooler than Christopher Walken on 2 wheels. Rawk!
This situation somewhat happened to me before. I was at a party, met a guy who was known to have a lot of ladies. I didn’t think much of him until I met him again at another party and he put the moves on me and I said ‘sure’, knowing it was just for fun because he’s just some ‘womanizer’ or whatever the kids call them these days. But then he felt the need to keep in touch with me, I thought it was because he didn’t want me to feel bad or something so I didn’t really care but then he said that HE wanted it to be something more and I thought welllllllll I dunno, let’s try it because you’re fun. Yadda, yadda, yadda the relationship ended after about 4 months or so and he was telling people that I was psycho and wanted to be “together forever” and clingy and whatnot. It happens OP. They may actually think they really love someone then like a day later it all changes for whatever reason, because men are fickle ;D!! Jkjk, nawt awl.
There’s always lesbianism (giggity giggity), but that presents a whole new series of problems (especially if there’s any truth to “The L Word” :P).
You might try being more selective about the people you swap bodily fluids with. Otherwise it’s the 4 Fs – find ’em, finger ’em, fuck ’em and forget ’em for many guys.
Jesus H., Wheelie, that sucks big time. What a fucking cowardly move.
If you need any help in the box-kicking area, PK, my size 9 is available.
I’m not an expert on relationships but, in baseball, if a batter can hit a home run every time he gets to the plate, you can’t teach him to bunt, slide or read signals from the third-base coach.
This condition is not exclusive to men..
At least you got an e-mail Wheelip, some of these people out here just dump you and don’t even send you the memo. That hurts.
Yeah how about you stop being a slut and tell the dude you want a relationship before you kiss, have sex with or pursue them? If you are giving out the milk for free nbody is going to buy rent to won or take responsibility for the emotional well being of the cow, that’s your job Bessie. MOOOO.
wheeliep smells good too^^
To paraphrase Tom Petty – a troll without a clue
http://www.lolpics.se/pics/8630.gif
TenaciousO is starting to become TediousO.
Sounds like someone got rode hard and sent home wet; and they ain’t happy about it….
TenaciousO,
I support you in your efforts to bring The Coast to account for the transgressions of the bitchers here at LTWWB.
I already have a long list of those deserving banishment (or worse). Perhaps we could compare lists and work toward a common goal?
Send me an email with your list of offenders and we’ll get started.
chairmanmao@eastlink.ca
You know who I am talking about. There are two. (posted multiple times in the last few days) Remove them and the rest will fall into line.
I recommended you do not post your email address publicly and unobscured. Generally not advisable as it tends to draw extra spam. Unfortunately you cannot edit your posts here. Perhaps you can request that bird remove it.
All that we can ask is that they be banned and that The Coast adhere to its own stated comments policy and not encourage its users in illegal and sadistic behaviour. It would also be appropriate for them to report illegal content posted to their website themselves. In this way they could restore their integrity and regain respect from their readers.
====illegal behaviour====
No actual babies were harmed in this message board, though notice it’s plaintive whine, as it is about to be deleted again.
===smells good too===
Awwwww(blush). Loves you too, Mama Painey de Ass Pommes
“wheeliep smells good too^^”
Does he ever!
“But I’m sure she still wants to be friends…”
That, for the most part is the biggest pile of bullshit on the planet — the whole “let’s still be friends!” thing. It’s ok for the person stomping on the other person’s heart to say, but when it comes down to it, it prolly ain’t gonna work out. Sometimes it does, but generally… yano.
And hay TTFN: you’re HIRED. My lil ol size 6s might not make much of an impact. Plus she’s taller than me and I have little legs. heh.
“Yeah how about you stop being a slut and tell the dude you want a relationship before you kiss, have sex with or pursue them?”
So. You meet a guy and let’s say you go out a couple times casually and you bring up the idea of a relationship BEFORE you even kiss the guy? Yeah, THAT’S not gonna seem clingy or anything.
Perhaps the sex should wait, but kissing someone doesn’t make one a slut, a) and b) telling someone you want a relationship with them before you pursue them… um isn’t that kinda PART of pursuing someone? And how does one KNOW they want a relationship with someone if they’re still pursuing? They might turn out to be huge assclowns and then you’ve gone and committed yourself to an eventual relationship. And no good can come of that. Especially the ensuing bitch that’ll likely follow about how some chick said she wanted a relationship and then changed her mind.
I don’t think OP’s a slut at all, I just think she’s a bit naive and has some learning to do re: relationships and guys. All of us, ladies, have had experiences like this while we were still learning the ropes. How else does one learn without these experiences? Just evaluate the situations and look for the signs you missed, because they were most likely there. Maybe you DID give it up too early, but I’ll bet he would’ve left anyway, because unless a guy is really into you, he’s likely not going to wait (because all he’s after is your ass anyway). I think in time you’ll realize where things went wrong and know better for next time. I know, myself, I have a couple situations where things went to shit, I realized what I did wrong and what the signs were, learned from it and moved on.
And mel’s right: men can be fickle creatures. The problem I think lies in the thought processes of men vs women. A man might say something to a woman in an attempt to be supportive, positive, make them feel better, etc… while a woman may interpret it as something very thoughtless and quite dumb to say to someone. As much as I love the menz, they can be very dense in the wayz of the womenz.
OP, there’s one of two things (or a combo of the two) going on here: either you’re attracted to the wrong type of guy over and over, or there’s something about you/you do that’s turned the guys off of you the more they get to know you. Maybe you pick guys who aren’t into clingy chicks and you’re kinda clingy? Maybe you pick guys who are needy and you’re more of a free spirit? You need to evaluate not only the guys you pick (look at the similarities of all three of them!) but yourself as well. You might be hot and all that stuff, but maybe you suck in bed? Maybe you have bad breath? Maybe you’re a huge airhead? Maybe you have an anger problem? No one is perfect and one of your imperfections might just be turning these guys off. (not saying you suck in bed/have bad breath/are an airhead/have an anger problem — those are just examples).
i have an extremely strong olfactory system^^sometimes beneficial, sometimes not so much http://images.sodahead.com/polls/001059615…
And if you’re reading this, OP, I will offer my family-friendly services, so you can see what a nice guy is like.
By that I mean I’m not using a double-entendre or “eyebrows”, I will be a gentleman and take you out.
I’m serious, actually. Go for a coffee, if there’s chemistry, we can see where it goes from there.
Who’s got anything to lose. Life is too short, and the Troll is going to get us in jail soon anyway.
The lovely Ladies of the Bitch are my references for this.
Lemme know!
“powerful. he is so powerful he can lift a hundred pounds right up over his head” heehaw
I get a charge of these OPs who say they are all that but go through this crap, maybe a little over the top on self importance
Hay, wheelie — I had a thought: what if the OP is SURVIVOR?
It’ll be your dream come true.
FAPFAPFAP.
HAHAHAHA
<3 you!
Don’t you *dare* badmouth my little Water Moccasin! Anyway, I’ve moved on.
You still masturbate to that thread though, don’tcha?
Admit it, you dirty fucker!
Well you know Wheelie is a sick perv. It’s gotta be true cause I read on the net and even more important it was written many many places on LTWWB by a very boring troll.
The troll here is such a fucking lightweight. As a former moderator of an American bitch board (for 5 years), I’ve have threats of assassination, hand grenades and being mailed the heads of dead kittens with dead fetuses in their dead mouths. This annoying little knobgobbler doesn’t even come close.
“OMFGWTFBBQ.” amazing! haha
Whoa, the troll needs to get laid. Can you do it op?
“Whoa, the troll needs to get laid.”
Oh he wouldn’t know what to do if a pussy jumped up and kissed him on *his* lips. No wait, he’d probably write on another random board that he’s called the cops on a rogue vagina…
Sounds like the problem is with you. I’m not a good troubleshooter but if you have a constant when trying 3 different things then its best to look at that.
PK, it gets lonely at night. The troll just doesn’t get me off anymore.
NGF what makes you think he wants pussy?
TenaciousO,
I do know who you’re talking about, but I think the list of offenders contains at least six names.
I don’t think the Coast will take any action. But I believe this is part of their plan. As someone said in another thread, keep speech free so that the idiots operate in plain sight.
Nevertheless, I will be taking names and filing my own reports.
“No wait, he’d probably write on another random board that he’s called the cops on a rogue vagina…”
AHAHAHAHAHAHA
o.p., you have have sought me out before, but i guess you weren’t looking then. neither was i, but you never know what could have happened. hang in there girl, there is some good guy out there, you just might have your sights set a tad too high. lower your standards a bit, and find a man, not some boy, who only wants to play video games, and party. maturemen, don’t need this shit. some of us, are happyto just be around their partner.
does that sound lame, maybe? but it is very true. look for an older guy, who will treat you as a person, and equal, not just a piece of tail. good luck o.p.
Wow, most of a thread about me, and completely off topic. 🙂 It seems you have decided to discuss the issue of your own accord now. This is a hopeful sign.
TTFN, yeah, but have you had to deal with consistent, daily, accurate and unassailable posts that expose the local bully gang for what they are? I will not engage in illegal behaviour to make my point, bait me all you like. What you describe is stupid and lightweight. I am here for round 31. Ding!
I am the administrator of a major forum, our solution is to put the freaks in the closet and lock the door, let them say whatever they like in there, I don’t even look at it. However, if they post in a public forum on my site the hammer comes down. All personal attacks are punished consistently. Three strikes and you’re banned. We have integrity and the respect of our users. I would like The Coast to have the same.
I don’t care what you say about me, it is irrelevant, I am here to protect others from your obscene depravity and sadism. It is clear that you guys don’t like that (attacking me over and over by way of response – offering no valid justification for your sick behaviour whatsoever, you cannot rationalise it, it is sick.)
Ooooh a personal attack! Lemme try.
ok ok ok so
Your mama glasses so thick she can see into the future!
OHHhhhhhhHHHHHHHhhhhhHHHHH!
BOOM ROASTED!
“I am the administrator of a major forum, our solution is to put the freaks in the closet and lock the door, let them say whatever they like in there, I don’t even look at it. “
WOW, this sure smacks of radical fundamentalism.
Kinda reminds me of a certain “book burning southern Preacherman”.
I don’t agree with the way you run your forum because it is different than mine?
You, TenaciousO, have no power here, and it seems to me that you don’t like that, so you resort to tactics that you know will elicit a response. Even if the responses are mocking and derogatory.
Holy crap, a reasoned and thought out response! Wow, bbqlover, what the heck are you doing here? You don’t fit in at all.
No, it is not a question of how this forum is run, it is a question of the integrity of a local paper that I used to enjoy. I can guarantee that I am not the only one that has been turned off The Coast by this kind of behaviour.
Additionally, my forums do not claim to represent any public institution. The Coast, on the other hand, bills itself as “Halifax’s Website”. That is completely unacceptable as long as perverted and sadistic behaviour is encouraged and protected.
Big difference.
Jesus, Tedious O, who put YOU in charge of protecting posters? Who are you to decide who should be allowed to post? It would seem more logical for you for depart from this board than try to change something that’s been this way for a very long time. Many of us has been here for years, butt-fluff, and all your moral outrage won’t change that. You’re just a low-level trolling turd stirring up the shit soup because it gives you a fucking woody to hear ANY response to your moronic warnings. Go crawl back up Rush Limburgercheese’s contaminated colon with your politically correct camelshit.
Politically correct? Ack! Who said anything about that? I am talking about perverse and sadistic personal attacks. Politically correct has nothing to do with it.
Who am I to decide who should post? A Haligonian. This is Halifax’s website right?
====You, TenaciousO, have no power here, and it seems to me that you don’t like that, so you resort to tactics that you know will elicit a response. Even if the responses are mocking and derogatory.====
Um, we have a winnahhhhhhH!
====Who am I to decide who should post? A Haligonian. This is Halifax’s website right?====
Orly.
This clamshell is actually mistaking a marketing tag line for a legal *fact*.
Which would be fascinating if it wasn’t true that he does this every year, works up to a horrible trolling climax of santorum and lube, then goes away for a year.
Just a troll, folks. Move along. Nothing to see here.
” I can guarantee that I am not the only one that has been turned off The Coast by this kind of behaviour.”
Oh CAN you now? Please provide proof of this claim. Kthx.
And how long do you think you can keep this up, Mole Hole? Couple of months? Couple of years? Well, you go right ahead. Show us what a sad, empty life you really have spending all your time stroking your pecker while pounding out your outrage over and over and over and over……maybe you should call yourself WankAMole instead.
====P.S. Banned again. I did not violate the comments policy in any way,====
Hmm. Strange, I agree.
I mean, when I report your comments I select “off topic” and “spam”, so I guess it will remain a mystery, right Whacky?
New troll! Y U sound like old troll?!
(insert rage meme)
http://memebase.com/2011/04/23/memes-y-u-n…
Got it!
Kthxbai
===Again, so familiar.===
(stage whispers) it’s you it’s familiar because it’s exactly what you are doing
The comments on that pic you posted, wheelie, are a lot more hilarious than the pic. roflz
Upset? Bahawhawhawhawhaw….you really do think a lot of yourself, don’t you?
Your posts are mildly annoying but hardly perturbing. Sort of like ‘flicking-an-ant-off-your-arm’ annoying. Nothing memorable here.
how can we attack you personally when we don’t know WHO you are?
http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.…
=====You all must like the complete lack of thread coherence and continuity that results from the deletion of my posts.=====
You mistake this for something that matters, Trolly. Just a message board.
So anger troll fails.
=====Yeah, convenient how the “personal attack” option is not present huh?=====
It’s enough to help get you banned, every time. You are a troll. This is what you do. Your other tactics failed, so now you’re trying to appear human by mimicing “discussion”.
I love that this is eating you up!
ZOMG!!! It smiled!!! I LOVELOVELOVE when trolls SMILE!!!
lols
You go up and down the metaphorical wall, looking for an opening to exploit.
Sorry. You continue to be a Troll, despite attempting to make sounds like a contributor.
Spam, off topic: check and check.
My new avatar is for you and all your incarnation, Trolly.
Fuck s/he doesn’t even know this is the closet s/he is talking about.
As a relatively new poster here, I have never felt personally attacked, unless I provoked it
(anyone seen Survivor ’round these parts lately?). Most posters that get flamed, shot down, “personally” attacked, usually can’t back up their points, or assert totally idiotic POV’s.
Hey, in the end, it is a Bitch Board, I will still sleep soundly even if some faceless person on the internet calls me names, posts porn or beastiality, that is on them, I can always look at different sites if this one upsets my “delicate moral sensibilities”.
Ever read the comments by posters on the CH website, what a bunch of self serving buffoons (for the most part), usually the same ones over and over.
http://phillyist.com/attachments/philly_ji…
exactly, bbqlover. I’ve met a good number of people from here and they’re all highly intelligent folks. I think the ones who stick around are the ones who a) don’t take the internet too seriously (because that CAN be a huge problem for some people) and b) can actually argue a point and don’t post stupid shit/comment, though More-on *is* an exception to that last point.
hey troll boy, if it’s so fucking illegal, why aren’t the comments of everyone being knocked off then? and who the fuck died and made you king or queen shit pile? and why does this thing remind me so much of p-rick from the horrid comment section?
all these question troll and you really supply no answers. why are these or any one’s comments so vile to you? if none of the rest of the world gives a finagled flying fuck, as to what is written her?
do you get a sense of something that you are accomplishing, well guess what, you are getting nothing done, cept maybe wasting your time. your jt a nen this bgw fyuely wn oeng bd astp he u from saringwas nd getin innoentpeople iled. o hw abot oig ou d stopin l he dp deaingi meto, andence te killings. can’t do none of that, then go hide your stupid fucking idiot head, up your ass.
don’t ask me what the fuck happened there. it was okay when i sent it, just happened to stop by and saw that mess at the end of my comment.
Well any guy I’ve ever seriously persued knew I expected a relationship if things continued/before they got in my pants, there was only one exception and since I knew the guy was emotionally unavailable I took certain precautions to protect my feelings. If you expect something in return it’s YOUR responsibility to be up front about it or be prepared to deal with the consequences. I’m just sick of seeing women blame men for not reading their mnds all the time. She may not be a slut but if she’s that naive she shouldn’t be dating.