There you were in the checkout line ahead of me in the 24-hour supermarket on Windsor. Your beautiful face, with its perfect peaches and cream complexion, was framed by your beautifully styled and cut reddish-brown hair. Your figure was shown off tastefully in your Lululemon stretch pants and white sweater. I was entranced by your sophisticated look, your natural beauty, your lovely green eyes and your perfect smile. Your purchases were even worthy of note — the organic veggies, the lactose-free milk, the dried fruit and nut mix, everything healthy and nutritious, no junk food for you. You obviously are intelligent enough to have a good job to pay for the premium food and clothing. Then you opened your stylish purse to pay for your purchases and there it was, incongruously — the pack of Benson and Hedges you are never without. Why? I can forgive dabbling in the habit during your university days, but you are undoubtedly on the other side of 30 now. You know better. Why, dear beauty, why? My illusion disappeared, like a puff of the smoke with which you befoul your no-longer-perfect lungs. The inconsistency you demonstrate by your choices baffles me.
—Baffled Admirer
This article appears in Jul 2-8, 2009.
Alot of girls are afraid of quitting smoking due to the possible weight gain.
If it takes a fucking cigarette pack to destroy her ‘perfection’, then I feel sorry for you, pal.
Lululemon is sophisticated?
Please shoot me now.
I thought all those compliments were sarcastic at first… You described everything I found annoying about my roommate in college… minus the pack of smokes. I wish my roommate would have taken a drag every now and then, might have unwound her a bit.
Sounds like OP is caught up in some bitchy doctor’s wife fantasy.
You put her on a pedestal, she fell off. Big surprise.
Hey, maybe she had the healthy food and cigarettes because she LIKES healthy food AND cigarettes. And just because someone chooses to take the risk of smoking cigarettes (like I do once or twice a day) doesn’t mean they’re willing to let go of themselves completely! If anything, my smoker’s guilt makes me try even harder for my otherwise very-healthy lifestyle. And I hate crappy food- nothing repulses me more than the reek of a deep fat fryer.
Getting funking sick of these anti-smokers. They bitch if you smoke inside, they bitch if you smoke outside. Well it’s fucking legal to smoke so you can all go fuck yourselves. And people wonder why smokers are sometimes rude.
Never put the pussy on a pedestal!
they’re not hers…honestly.
she’s holding them for a ‘friend’.
It is way past the time where non-smokers should bite their tongue and shut their fucking mouths. Some quiff the other day was on about how my second hand smoke is worse for her than smoking was for me. I do not usually swear in public at people, especially females, but I told her to shut the fuck up. According to her logic she should be smoking because it is healthier than not smoking; stupid fucking bitch.
Your bitch is more syruppy than Aunt Jemima – I was waiting for fucking Fabio to show up.
You certainly paid more than a passing interest in this lady, which is somewhat creepy.
you should have just signed your post “Baffled”
and stop trying to showcase your writing skilz, they have work shops for that shit.
I think I get it…I was watching this young man cross the street and was impressed at how his walked, his gait, posture…seemed to really take care of himself and you do not see that much these days….
Then….
….he hulled off
….and
……….spat a huge one…it was noisy and gross…
poof ……….goes the image….and compliment…
IT is like when you are talking with a person at a meal and they go to pass you the butter and you see the 10 years of nico- stains on every finger and say NO THANKS…… shuddering
The smartest thing that beautiful young lady did was NOT know you. Fucking asshole.
If I posted a bitch for every unattractive thing I observed in seemingly attractive people… I’d be single… never mind.
You just keep looking for Ms Perfect there, OP. When you seek reasons to dislike you will find them. Happy lonely life to ya!
I’m with you Anomie! Judging by his writing style, he sounds like an utter asshole. And what normal guy says things like: “Your purchases were even worthy of note”? ‘Worthy of note’…yuck! Eyeing up every item in her cart like a nosy old woman and using it to judge whether she was good enough for him or not…completely gross. Creepy, in fact.
Now Scooby…you know I lah ya…
Maybe this poster is just older or it is a cultural thang.. I do not post here in the same manner I would say a paper or assessment ….but some do… This is like twitter to me…just in and out….as fast as possible….I am unconcerned for grammar and syntax and often use shortcuts or slang… this poster may be new to posting and over time will….chillax..
I remember the first board I posted on….crime board….banned 13 times…YEAH..those Americans are nupid..anyway…dang I laugh now at how serious I was with my writing style… now I could not careless about punctuation LOL….and have learned to ignore the LCD on board…whereas I took everything personally..
OR
maybe this poster is an anal retentive and has rigid personality type with chronic narcissism that needs to control and perhaps even smother the women in his life and makes unreasonable expectations that she can never achieve ergo he creates the reason to never like her and then he dumps her for their ‘failures and flaw’…
he then uses this as a ‘reason’ to hate all women and justifies why he never has loved even one…except his mama…
Mama Bates
LOL Scooby, you hit the nail on the head. The only person I know who says “worthy of note” is my Dad.
I would love to read the fanfics OP probably pumps out.
“Lululemon is sophisticated?” never sweat pants? not at all!
i don’t get that either people who bitch and moan about how healthy they are and then all they do is drink and smoke wtf?
I know…or….I have to admit…if you are hacking up your lungs after smoking a few ciggies..I do not want to hear about it
… if you are 500 pounds walking in stilettos and your feet hurt …I do not want to hear about it
….if you are on a limited budget and you waste it on beer/smokes and video games and you cant pay your rent…I do not want to hear about it
… if you keep dating LCD and cry about it when they prove they are LCD I do not want to hear about it…
Bitching has its own rules….
Everyone has deal-breakers in relationships. This is OPs deal-breaker, cut him some slack. That said the way this bitch is written is extremely annoying, bitcher sounds really pretentious and snobbish.
“I can forgive dabbling in the habit during your university days, but you are undoubtedly on the other side of 30 now. You know better. Why, dear beauty, why?”
*barf
OP, odds are this woman doesn’t give a shit about what you think of her smoking. She doesn’t give a rats ass about what smoking circumstances upon which you will bestow your forgiveness. She most likely wouldn’t give you a second look, even if she thought you weren’t an annoying self-righteous anti smoking dipshit. Your attitude could be her deal-breaker.
Listen to me, and I don’t even smoke!
smoking might be legal, but so is shitting and I’m sure you don’t want someone shitting beside you in a bus shelter.
Just sayin’ 😉
Wrong thread there, PK.
mcgayle couldnt be more right!
and PK no i dont want nayone shitting beside me!
Rut roh..Jane agreeing with me you may now be the target du jour….. 😉
Bitching rules: I always keep things in 2 categories…
(1) grievance
(2) complaint
(1) are legit issues that someone brings to light
..real bitching issues
(2) try to appear to be legit but are self imposed/self induced/self pity and contribute nada to the advancement of our species
…faugazie bitching issues ( like those I listed already in the previous post)
When I file say with HRM and they call it a complaint form as most places do etc..I smile…and politely ask for the other form..they say which one..I say the grievance form … they get confused……. I should not tease the monkey I know.
Language is a weapon of choice… no one knows that better than our government
Well mcgayle how can i not agree with you?
your obviously clever! 🙂
OP, mcgayle and others… you should know some of us are NOT “people pleasers” nor give a flying fuck about your negative opinions. At least the OP kept his to himself.
negative opinions?
breaking down what THEY (not you darlin) consider to be bitching is not negative.
Also i am a pro smoker i say smoke em if you got em BUT dont give me this im so healthy holy shit if your going to smoke or drink your face off it cancels it out!
LOL……Jane you best cut that out…you are living dangerously here……LOL ….my stalker….. I mean….fan club may get envious and start going after you…. I am serious…they are unstable….truly….
😉
I am a boundary person : you respect mine …I will respect yours…
…………….in so much as they do infringe with mine…..;)
no no, you missed the point… the point is some of us don’t give a rat’s ass what your approval rating is of our thoughts, feelings, opinions, behaviors, etc…. most human beings will accept kindness, of course…. follow me now?
im a get you!………..
oh mygawd….i think thats the guy thats been stalking me….
oh no!
haha im a girl but what ev ahah
“Never put the pussy on a pedestal!”
Doctor’s orders. Bravo 😀
Do you eat off that pedestal? If not, maybe you should. LOL
LOL thats awesome