Mother,
I am 26, and circumstances being what they are, I have to move back in with you. Consider me a roommate.
This ‘nurture and smother with love’ face you are showing is not gonna work, you are still the same woman who treated me like garbage for the first 26 years.
You are not my mother, you are the slob that married my father and made me and my brother, whom you treated better than me, but still not particularly good.
I am moving in because you were too lazy to work for 2 years and got behind on all your bills too. I am moving back in not out of necessity, you are actually in the complete opposite direction of my work on one bus route.
I am moving back in to help dad. You can go fuck yourself.
And getting pissy because I gave the first rent check made out in dads name was uncalled for and selfish. I know if I give it to dad he will use it for bills, if i give it to you you will do something stupid and impulsive. You don’t need new dishes and you have the shit to redecorate the bathroom 6 different styles.
The rent money I am giving you is to go to your bills.
And stop telling me I owe you money, I don’t, I owe it to dad. He borrowed it from his friend to give me, I owe him money and I already made the agreement with him when it would be paid back. so mind your business and grow up. —Not June Cleavers child
This article appears in Jun 10-16, 2010.
sounds like your family is a little on the umm dysfunctional side; are you sure you can’t help out from afar ( there could be trouble like big trouble )
i see trouble in your future girl, if you are indeed a girl. some people can’t handle cash and bills at the same time, my ex couldn’t. she would go to flea markets, blow all the dough, then we would be behind, every fucking month. yes, cheques in your dad’s name kinda fucks her, unless she has a power of attorney (?) she can’t do shit, and unless he is pussy whipped by her, will tell her to butt out. you say she likes your brother better than you, maybe she is fucking him? and who you owe, and what you owe, is your fucking business.
It’s simple – just say: ‘You’re not my mother, you stupid cow’ – you’re 26 and you’ve earned that right, especially if she treated you like shit. And get the fuck out of there as soon as you can.
I am confused, You says she is not your mother, but then you say she is the woman who “made” you and your brother with your dad? That makes her your mother. Even if it’s only biological, she still is actually your mother.
she is my mother. by blood, but some parents deserve to be disowned.
Disown all family members as soon as you reach the age of majority and never look back. Why remain tied to other peoples emotional garbage?
You do realize how this is affecting YOUR life.
wow…. a lot of hating on the ‘rents going around….
this stems form a long long time of emotional bullshit. i am not a selfish brat who hates her forever because she wouldn’t buy me a car when i was 16. she treated me like garbage and when family and children’s services got involved. when i was 15, they refused to removed me from her care because there was no signs of abuse to my brother. apparently it was all in my head, but he was a foot taller than me and 100 pounds heavier and 2 years older. so maybe she didn’t beat him because she couldnt?? no of course not, it was just all in my head, thanks FCS. now i’m 26 and can’t sleep in the dark. she’s mad that i am not afraid of her anymore. but i can’t disown her without disowning my dad. who is on disability. he needs the help.
Oh but don’t forget, all mothers are perfect wonderful angels who have it so hard and are so underappreciated in society, and should be making six figure salaries if motherhood were a profession. My mom wonders why she is so far in debt and can’t get anything better than a minimum wage job… how about because you’re fucking LAZY? And maybe a bit dumb. It sucks to have to say this but it’s true.
OK I’m gonna stop now, but OP, I feel ya. Not everyone has the picture-perfect wonderful mom you see on TV. I still love mine but feel sorry for her more than anything.
pay your dad back and get out of there, you don’t owe your parents anything because they are in debt or on disability, that is their life, not yours, so move out and get your own life.
I agree, ss, some parents DO deserve to be disowned. I ditched my own dad a few years ago after 30+ years of trying to make it work/keeping my expectations low/keeping the visits few and far between. When I finally conceded that the relationship was doing more harm than good and ended it, it was the right decision. Having a shitty dad has been useful if only that I learned how NOT to parent my own son.
Take care of yourself and, yeah, get out as soon as you can.