Mattress shopping, grrr…. Why does it have to be so f-ing hard? Companies change the mattress names every couple of months, so I can’t find reviews for the mattress I’m considering. All the stores carry the same mattresses, but with different names and fabrics, so I can’t compare prices. The labels are deliberately lacking in information so I have to be led by some sleazy salesman when I just want to be able to read if it’s plush or firm, coiled springs or not, and price (not that that means anything – hope nobody actually pays the sticker price!). And I hate the fact that the day before a sale the price can be x, but then on the day of the sale the price is y, and y ain’t necessarily less than x. Fuck. Oh, and to the last salesman who offered me, and just me, “friends and family” pricing after talking to me for 2 minutes, I’m not that stupid and I’m not feeling special, just pissed off. I hate you all. And, my back really hurts in the morning, so I actually need a f-ing bed, not the bullshit.
—grumpy in my lumpy bed
This article appears in Sep 3-9, 2009.
Mattress shopping is “so f-ing hard”?
Quit your life, go to Sudan, then come back. Wanker.
It’s not about that, Onion. It’s about having to pay an outrageous price for something that turns out to be less comfortable than a mat on the floor. After you sleep on them for a short time, it turns out that the springs can be felt or that lumps appear. There are even mattresses that make a considerable amount of noise–like they are made with rusty nails and plastic wrap.
i paid over 800 bucks for a set about 10 years ago, there are still fairly decent. with that being said,you get what you pay for. if you want quality,then you just know it will cost you a bundle.nothing fancy used to be the best place for your buck. but enenso,they are high end too.of course there is always the furniture bank, if you don;’t mind sleeping on someone else’s old cum stains, or period blood.ugh.
I gues it would depend upon whose cum stains…
Wow Nevermind, i really didn’t expect you to post that!
Heavy…
Here’s a suggestion OP: you’ve obviously been doing your homework and have read reviews online. Why not order your mattress online too? The names may be different, but the serial numbers will usually remain the same. Try identifying them that way. Then when you find one you like, purchase it online. Or you can do as I do and tell sales people that you have no intention of buying today (regardless of whether or not it’s true) and that you’re only doing comparrisons. You don’t require any help and would appreciate it if they left you alone. Works for me all the time.
Sorry to hear that. I had the same issues. I realized that good mattresses don’t actually exist here. Ikea has some but we don’t have Ikea here.
A lot of the good mattresses are foam mattresses based on my previous experience, and they’re not readily available here.
Think about it. You have a full body foam mattress, tailored to your comfort level, vs. a spring mattress loaded with metallic springs that are eventually going to give and you won’t have a good sleep within 5 years.
I had a really good foam one that I had to get rid of since I was moving out of province. I wish I still had it. I think I had it since 1980’s! It was firm, and it still felt good. Now I have a spring mattress, one of those seally garbage ones. paid $600 on sale for it. age, 4 years. It’s no longer as comfortable as is used to be.
If you’re interested and don’t want to go through anymore hassle, I’ve got a spare Queen size mattress that was bought brand new only two months ago that I no longer need. I bought it with my girlfriend at the time. Then she dumped me.
I bought it for $350, but I’ll sell it to you for $100.
My favorite salespeople are the Future Shop guys with their retarded “extended warrenty” – I’m certain most of it goes directly into their pocket. It’s like “you must buy this product – it’s the best – but you need the extended warranty because it’s really a piece of crap”.
Last snotty mattress salesperson damn near shit himself when he asked how I liked the sample I was sprawled across and I told him I couldn’t determine whether my same-sex partner moving around would wake me up so could he please “play the part”. Apaprently being in bed with another guy wasn’t his gig and he took off to the other side of the showroom.
from the OP:
Thanks for the helpful replies. 🙂 Well, mostly. The stain one was a little off-putting because I figu re some of these mattresses are returns from their 30-day guarantee policy because these businesses seem just that sleazy.
Why not do it the old fashioned way and kick your shoes off and hop on get comfy , spend 5 -10 minutes chillen on the bed see how it feels. If it’s comfy , see if they have some sort of spec sheet and look it over. if you like that too then buy it.
OP: the BEST mattress I ever bought (and still have) is actually one of those mattresses in a box from Walmart of all places. You can get the regular one or the pillow top. You just wheel the box home, open it up, put it on your bed and let it sit for 24-48 hours and VOILA — full sized regular ass mattress. They’re hella inexpensive too. My double was like $250 with taxes iirc. Seriously, check it out. The pillow top would be worth springing for if you’ve got the $$$. They’re about 75-100 bucks more. $400 tops for a queen pillow top. They’re easy to get home too 😛
If the salepeople get to you too much, just go back to the 80s and get a waterbed. If fashion can do it, so can beds damnit!
*No, I sleep on springs*
I would suggest not getting a pillowtop, since you can’t flip them.
It’s more of a rotational deal and doesn’t quite cut it with me.
I needs the full flip and rotate.
Speaking of…. I suppose it’s time to flip mine! thanks!
I went to Sears outlet… best prices for quality I’ve found so far.
plenty of selection if you’re interested.
zzz- Actually you can get double pillow top mattresses, pillow on the top, & a pillow on the bottom. ( I always consider the ‘top’ side to be where the manufacturer label is affixed.) I have a double pillow king size bed & it is heavenly to sleep on. Quite comfortable for other uses as well.
“Quite comfortable for other uses as well.”
Like eating cookies in bed?
Hey OP (or whoever), my offer’s still available if you’re interested.
Yes I know I could just put an ad on Kijiji… but that would require more effort and I’m all about putting in as little effort as possible. Work smart, not hard.
Miles that’s a good use, along with eating crackers.
(more looks at his lap )we never complain when she wants to eat crackers…do we crackers 😉
More, I wouldn’t think that would be very good for the ‘pillowy top’, to me pressed all down and squashed when you’re on it… but if you say so….
I’ll stick with my plan and you stick with yours.
zZz , I have owned it for over 2 years & I flip it everytime i change the sheets & I don’t have any problems at all. Although the mattress & box spring costs over $1000.00 . The mattress is about 12 inches thick, without counting the pillow top& bottom .
Really comfortable bed, one of the best I have ever owned.