Dear Neighbour on Elm Street, I spend a lot of fucking money on my house renos and have tried to coordinate visits from contractors to ensure you get your beauty sleep. When the contractors wait patiently until AFTER 8 a.m. before arriving to work, park cautiously as to not encroach on your parking space, and then encounter douchebags like you yelling obscenities at them as you pull out of your driveway late for work, remember THREE things:
1. My home renos are raising YOUR property value.
2. Kids live within earshot of your festering corn hole and don’t need to hear you taking out your “didn’t get shit from my husband on Valentine’s day” beefs on a friendly contractor.
3. I know something about your gutter cleaner man you don’t and it will frighten the shit out of you.
Lighten up bitch! —Pissed Off Home Improver
This article appears in Feb 10-16, 2011.
Good fences may make good neighbors but the Barrett M107 makes courteous ones.
http://www.armyproperty.com/Equipment-Info…
Hahahaha
tell them to go get fucked, if they want quiet, tell them to come and do your reno themselves. other than that, just fuck off, or find the noisiest fucking thing you can, and let it rip, when you know they are sleeping. the law says that between the hours of 11 p.m., and 7 a.m., there shall be no excessive noise made, but after 7, then tough fucking shit.
Sounds to me like her husband has another woman.
Do tell the gutter story about the gutter man
It’s people like you who raise the tax rate. LOL. You renovate causing everyone else’s rates to go up even though your neighbours have done nothing. A pox on people who renovate who raise taxes on unsuspecting neighbours.
The gutter cleaner is Z and the neighbour is a diaper manufacturer! That’s what makes me think of scary.
Your use of “corn hole” made me remember Chris Crocker.
Thanks for that, OP. Thanks 🙁
Also: tell this arsehole neighbour to get bent.
Who gives a fuck what their neighbor thinks? Go ahead, do the renos, make as much noise as the contractors need to in order to get the job done on schedule. If your neighbor doesn’t like it, tough shit. Smile at them, wave too. Make her even more irate until she explodes in a PMS-induced fury.
gutter cleaner?
http://images.chron.com/blogs/txpotomac/ob…
^^^ that made my morning, zed.
Anyone else have “issues” getting to work this morning? ugh.
Sure, your neighbour might be a douche but don’t pat yourself on the back because you hold off until 8am to start work.
FYI, your renos also raises your neigbours’ tax assesment so Bravo!
Let’s hear the gutter story.
When my wife read this story in the Coast she thought I wrote it because I have a million stories about idiot neighbours. The worst was when we were having mortar work done and a bit of dust blew onto my neighbor’s yard and they went psycho. They actually said “You got dust on my cat!”
You posted a bitch about that didn’t you CP. I seem to recall that you had a pretty good plan for epic payback. Did it work?
I used to live on Elm St.
I wonder if this is about anyone I would know. Hee.
Hi Colonel – I chose to just not associate with them and now they feel like a-holes. They always try to be friendly and we don’t even acknowledge their existance.
OP – I wonder if you’re the people moving the house? That’s a huge job! Sorry to hear about your neighbor. I lived on Poplar and loved all the neighbors. I wish we would’ve stayed instead of moving to snobville.