I hate my life so much, where it’s going or that should be not going. I lost my job recently for the dumbest reason and while I did have an interview today for a job doing something I know I’ll love and I’m sure I’ll get it but after talking to someone about said interview I’m now starting to doubt myself. I’m really good with kids but am I actually? I be there for them on a personal level but can I be a teacher? Am I even smart enough? Now I feel I should quit while I’m ahead, I have a diploma that isn’t worth anything in a career field I would like to work in and I’m not smart enough for University. What’s the point? I can be a great friend but I don’t think I could ever be a great teacher and there’s no careers out there for being able to be friendly so why bother… I just don’t know what to do —Is this the end?
This article appears in Feb 12-18, 2015.
1) It’s February, this necrotic winter month that breeds despair, self-doubt, and hopelessness like Miley’s goodiegulch cultivates S.T.D’s. (hope that image brought you a semblance of a smile) Seriously though, this time of year is the Saskatchewan of the Gregorian Calendar – something that you have to traverse in order to get from where you were to where you want to be. It casts it’s pall over everything. Keep that in mind when you are being hypercritical. EVERYTHING seems worse in February.
2)Your inner voice sounds like it is your own worst enemy. Lots of people have this affliction and only you can deal with it. That being said, try to not give too much importance to what you presume to be the negative opinions of others. You have foes enough in your own mind – you don’t need to reinforce them.
3)If you seem to be overwhelmed at the prospect of a career, then settle for a job, in the short term. Security of food, shelter and health do wonders in diminishing the stresses of what might be. Not everybody is privileged to do a job that they enjoy, but it’s got living in a dumpster beat all to hell. You seem to be reasonably young; you do have time to plan for something better.
4) Don’t ever fool yourself that intelligence is a prerequisite for University. It’s about money.
In my four years I saw more than enough fuckwits whose parents kept them out of Springhill by paying to send them to Edgehill. There are alternatives for upgrading your life. Find the one that suits you best. I know, it’s a whole lot more complicated than what I just wrote, but see comment #3. You do have time.
5) I’m not going to wish you luck. “Luck” as baseball manager Branch Rickey once said “is the residue of design” You have some hard work ahead of you, but you don’t sound like someone who’s afraid of that. I do hope things work out for you.
Now, here are some calming manatees:
http://calmingmanatee.tumblr.com/
op, you say you are not smart enough for university. belay that thought. all you need for university now is money. and not much smarts, since so many people are ploughing 20k into it and expecting a job out of it. (see other bitches)
if you are friendly, you will be very good at very many jobs. you don’t have to find the perfect job/career immediately. its like love. better if you practise a bit first.
Yes, it’s the end. Bye!
NO it’s not the end–just a bump in the road!
You are at the beginning of a quest.
1. You have to think about who you really are, and what you really want and need. This is the number one task of life. (Hint: knowing what you don’t want is a good start.)
2. Then you have to find out how to get the knowledge/skills/experience/connections required to get there. This is your new job.
Good luck.
By the way, February is the worst month. Most people go through this at this time of year, and would hibernate if they could. Hang in there, the days are getting longer and all this snow will be gone soon!
BEING A TEACHER
“I’m really good with kids but am I actually? I’ll be there for them on a personal level but can I be a teacher?” Is this the end?
The philosopher Richard Rorty (Philosophy and the Mirror of Nature”) once made what has now become a famous distinction, that between “socialization” and “individuation.” He maintained that the former – inculcating the beliefs of the community in the students – provided the philosophical basis for teaching at the pre-university level. Individuation, on the other hand, was the cultivation of critical thinking which he claimed characterized university teaching.
Tw points: (1) Your (tentative) claim that you are really good with kids suggests that socialization would be your proper mileu, probably at the elementary level. However, you point to the fact that to be a teacher requires something more than simply being good with kids and you are right there as well. But individuation, the cultivation of critical thinking, does not follow explicit pedagogical rules that are found at the elementary level. It requires dialogical thought, the ability to engage the student in reflective dialogue and occurs later in the educational process, one you might want to pursue. Your doubt about your abilities is an excellent starting point.
(2) As a matter of fact I have disagreed with Rorty’s socialization-individuation dichotomy in my “Hanging Together with Richard Rorty (“Paideusis,” The Journal of the Canadian Philosopohy of Education Society Vol. 11, Number 1) where I argue that, at least at the upper levels of secondary education, his “individuation” comes increasingly into play. So maybe there’s something for you at that level as well. Good luck!
A pleasure as always,
Cheerio!
Have you ever thought of taking Youth and Child Studies at MSVU? Or Early Childhood Education at NSCC? Don’t doubt your smarts, OB. I know people who have university degrees in English and can’t even string a grammatically correct sentence, together! And your bitch sounds WAY clearer than anything I’ve ever read that he’s written – you honestly don’t sound dumb to me.
If you took the youth and child studies program or the early childhood ed program, you could work with little kids in preschools or daycares. Toddlers and young kids need all the kind caregivers they can get, and it sounds like you’d really enjoy that kind of work. And the pressure is off, teaching-wise because you’re not teaching high school algebra – you’re teaching letters and numbers and manners and all kinds of those things to little sponges who are usually full of love and enthusiasm. Win-win for both of you 🙂
Good luck, OB, I really wish you the best!
Very, very few people are too “dumb” for anything. More important are interests, desires, and natural aptitudes–the places and activities and skills where a person feels most at home.
Here’s the best advice I heard in the last year:
A person could work and work and work at trying to remedy some so-called “deficiency”–something where they had no real desire or innate knack, say, like in my case, learning how to dance. With strenuous effort and practice, that person could gain *some* proficiency, but they will never reach the high “effortless” skill level of the “natural” who has put in the same amount of strenuous practice.
Instead, imagine what would happen if that person put that SAME energy and effort into an area where they ALREADY had a deep interest and natural ability–their proficiency and expertise would go through the roof! (And they would also be much happier.)
In other words “Go where your gift is.”
“but after talking to someone about said interview I’m now starting to doubt myself.”
Lots of sage advice here OP, read and consider them. Not so much to the person who torpedoed your confidence about the interview.
Eh . . . some interviewers are just being jerks because they think they hold power over people. I’ve met more than a few of those.
Consider that they have failed a test–a test that determines whether YOU find them suitable as an employer or an advisor.
It’s good when someone reveals their true colours early on. If THEY don’t pass muster with YOU, then you need to have nothing more to do with them. Consider it part of your own personal screening process in your life.
Though I sympathize, I don’t want to get too existential but can only say that whatever happens is exactly what’s meant to. Sounds like there’s alot of disatisfaction in a few areas of your life. When it gets that tangled up in your mind, sometimes you just have to throw your hands up, breathe deeply in, take in the whole panoramic life-situation you’r ein and accept it for What it Is, for what can be more insane to not accept what cleary Is?
How do you know what you should be doing in your Life right now? What’s meant to be happening is exactly what’s happening right now. How else could it be otherwise?
Seriously, try just Accepting Everything. This clears up static in your energy-field and strengthens your vibrational-frequency to align with positively-charged energy. Resisting What Is not only repels favorable occurrences but also creates harmful biochemically toxic energy blockages within the body.
Count all the things you Do Have and the things that Are Going Well. Feel the fullness of Life all around you, the air on your skin, the sun on your face, the smell of dinner cooking. Get out of the warzone of the mind for a bit and let some Life and light in through those dusty inner windows.
Remember: All is As It Should Be.
Peace!
I believe the quote in Armed & Dangerous about the 2 most important things to remember for being a security guard
1- always have your name written clearly on your lunch
2- never sleep at work where anyone can see you
OB , from your bitch, it’s obvious you could easily meet those requirements. So you have somewhere else to go IF that interview fails to land you the job 👍
“All is as it should be.”
The story goes that when the Dalai Lama was at MacDonalds he said, “Make me one with everything.”