I deleted you on your birthday

VERBAL INFLATION, OR: WHAT IS A “FACEBOOK FRIEND?”

:”friend, n. & v.t., one joined to another in intimacy & mutual benevolence independently of sexual or family love.” The Concise Oxford Dictionary

“Um, we all get reminded when your dumbass is having a birthday. Next year, I won’t be reminded though. Cause I deleted your narcissistic ass.” Gotta unfriend people more often

What, if anything, is a Facebook friend? On the basis of the poster’s comment it certainly isn’t one joined to another in intimacy and mutual benevolence so what can it possibly be? Is it, perhaps, some sort of diminished form of the concept of a friend? Perhaps a Facebook chum, possibly a Facebook acquaintance? But no, even in its diminished form the expression does not capture the complete randomness, indifference and disposability contained in the concept. One must conclude that a “Facebook friend” is an empty concept. It is without substance whatsoever. So why call it a “friend?” Simply put, it is called a “friend” because of the verbal inflation endemic Facebook in particular and “social” sites in general.

Take Bitch itself. Take the “Like”/Dislike” tabs at the end of each comment. Does the “Like” tab mean that one actually likes the comment? Of course not. It just means that one happens to agree with the comment although, of course, it is never specified just why one happens to agree with it. Does the “Dislike” tab mean that one actually disagrees with the comment? Of course not. It just means that one happens to disagree with the comment although of course, it is never specified just why one happens to disagree with it. One just does. So what does this mean?

In brief, it means the collapse of anything resembling reflective, rational discourse. No reasons need be given, just impulsive mindless brain-farts without identifiable content, import or significance. However it must be said that comments on social sites like Bitch do provide a voice for the unlettered, the cognitively challenged and the sub-literate. In that sense they serve as a social valve to let off the noxious steam of their bottled-up frustrations. In that sense, social sites like Bitch constitute a useful conservative mechanism, one which keeps the Underclass content. Of course, one must always remember that the words and language used, like the expression Facebook “friend” itself, are instances of verbal inflation and, like its financial counterpart, has debased language to the point where it means precisely nothing.

A pleasure as always.

Cheerio!