Thank you for stealing my possessions while I was in the process of loading my moving van. You are a greasy human. —You Make Me Sick
This article appears in Back to School.
Getting greased
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If you were born a highly paranoid individual such as myself, you would naturally have thought to leave anything valuable and easily carried inside the house until the very end.
Why did you leave it unattended?
With thousands of uni students converging on the city, it’s no surprise that you got ripped off. There’s so many greasy, lowlife & opportunist human beans in this city, you could skate on their slimy trails with spatulas tied to your feet.
Such are the tales of the Nekkid City.
What’s a “human bean”? Is that like a kidney bean but with the rest of the body parts included?
Just slang of the word ‘being’ – Cartoonist John Stanley came up with that term in his 1960s comic ‘Melvin Monster’. The full term was ‘hooman bean’ and referred to the pale, unattractive normal folks who Melvin & his monster community feared.
^^^ good answer!
I overheard a police officer receiving a call one day. The dispatcher uttered the quintessential phrase of policing ” …..suspicious male in the vicinity of….”
‘…suspicious male in the vicinity of…’
All man buns unfurl!
Shitty. But at least you’re going to have a story to tell and chuckle about later. How funny is that? Someone stole your shit right off the moving truck while you were inside burning a fattie.