This article appears in Dec 11-17, 2008.
Get outta the fucking way…
Holy Fuck do i hate the mall @ x-mas time. I know everyone is tired and cranky from shopping and shit but if someone says excuse me then get outta the fuckin way. Is it difficult to move 3 inches to the left to let ppl thru…NO!!!! Are you fuckin stu
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Take a pill…
I wonder who’s got the fat ass and who should give the extra 3 inches necessary for you to get by? hmmm?
People do pick the stupidest places to stop and talk. Lots of times I have seen people talking and completely blocking a walkway/sidewalk/path/aisle. Move to a bigger area, reTards. This bitch should go with the Nova Scotians are Self-Centered Pricks bitch. Some people think they are the only ones on the planet, or the only ones that matters and fuck everybody else.
a personal favorite is people who step off the escalator that is going down, then pause two feet away from the bottom to ponder what store they want to go in.
Living in Toronto, I deal with this on a regular basis. In some cultures I guess its considered acceptable to not be aware of your surroundings before stopping randomly to get a candy from your bag, turn around or look for your phone. Here is what I do – usually I am carrying my umbrella.. which is quite long and pointy. I also tend to wear dark sunglasses – here is the fun part – leave the sunglasses on all the time, hold your umbrella tip down… somone stops, wave the umbrella tip near their feet and bang into them – they think you’re blind, feel dumb as shit and will be a lot more careful in the future. They will be too dumbfounded to notice that its not a white cane. Fail that option just bang the hell into them – both options work for me.
Isn’t OP’s Christmas spirit delightful? Peace on earth and get the fuck out of my way.
Yeah TTFN… It’s obvious you relate very well.
Dearest kay – you ain’t no Seinfeld so don’t try.
oh kay, your fat-hating blowhardedness really awakens the christmas spirit inside….I always feel worse for the employees in these dens of consumerism this time of year. I’ve done it, and between the constant annoying chipperness of christmas musak, beligerent shoppers convinced that you have just one more of those items hidden away in the back, and are thwarting them on purpose, and sugar hyped tots screaming for more more more….well basically you just want to shoot yourself in the head, but no you can’t because ah, you’re working boxing day.people need to take a breath and chill. if you REALLy don’t want to deal with the crowds, time when you go- malls are dead in the morning when they open, and generally sales people are far friendlier. i used to just take my lunch break earlier, and do my shopping then. or you could just pretend it’s some sort of safari, you’re jane goodal, and everyone else are misbehaving chimps ;)particularly Kay.
Speaking of escalators: how come people here don’t stand right and walk left?Usually I am patient, but sometimes people walk and text at the same time – that drives my testosterone through the roof.
I sure have a way of calling the wide ones outhedgy, merry fucking ho-ho HAHAH
Eid Murbarek and all that stuff to you too Kay. hey, with the economy crashing, let’s all be bigger bitches than usual so santa brings us lots of coal to keep us warm this winter!