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This is a manifesto that is a long time coming, Halifax. There’s a problem with your pepperoni pizza. There’s a really big problem. I had to remove myself from this town in order to fully realize the scope of this issue, and I’ve spent a long time trying to convince myself that Halifax pepperoni pizza is good. But it’s not. It’s just fucking not.
So here I am, like Luther hammering a note to the church door; I am hammered and I am going to explain my grievances against all that is good and holy in the order of severity.
1. Pepperoni does not go under the cheese.
2. Geeze, this pepperoni tastes like salami and is the size of salami and smells like salami. Stop fucking around, Halifax—it’s not pepperoni, it’s salami.
3. Ideally, pepperoni should be a little bit larger than a toonie and rest peacefully ON TOP OF THE CHEESE SO THE CHEESE MELTS INTO THE BASE, not SMOTHERED BY CHEESE AND DROWNING IN FUCKING SAUCE.
4. If it’s the size of a DVD, it’s NOT PEPPERONI
5. Pepperoni. Does. Not. Go. Under. The. Cheese.
Look, if you’re a pizza joint out in this town and you don’t use the use the pepperoni-salami hybrid, good on you. But this will not stand. This is not what pizza is supposed to be.
—I am angry ABOUT PIZZA
This article appears in Jul 16-22, 2015.
Try getting a donair outside of Halifax.
Your dough belly will soon be hanging over your cheese-encrusted pepperoni if you do not stop eating this crap.
You must try a real pizzeria in Roma or Napoli, its original home. For them putting meat of whatever description on a pizza is an abomination. The key ingredient is the crust – not the topping – which should be light and airy and not a leaden, pie-like slab.
Halifax has so damn many quick ‘n’ dirty pizza joints. An unusually large number, per capita. But they’re almost all terrible. Not like “greasy take-out pizza” bad; more like, “repulsive and barely edible” bad. (Shoutout to Randy’s on Agricola! Ugh…)
It’s quite the paradox.
Try a good pizza joint OP…Salvatores for example.
Sal’s is def the best, but the joint off Quinpool (near Quingate) used to make a pretty decent mush n pep–cheese next to crush with LOTS of real mushrooms and pepperoni on top. Both places have super nice staff too.
There’s nothing more disappointing then being at a party or other event where pizza is served but all of the pizzas have pepperoni on them. Even if you take the time to pull it off you are still left with a greasy mess and the remnants of the rancid flavour of poor quality meat.
It makes already bad pizza inedible. Blech!
A nice thin flaky crust with a light sauce and maybe a bit of cheese and a few veggies. Now that’s a pizza!
Sal’s is top notch pizza but, by the way, Piatto (on Hollis) makes an authentic Neapolitan thin crust pizza. It’s pretty darn good..
I always put the toppings under the crust. Also, pizza in Halifax is usually just cardboard painted with tomato sauce anyway so get over it.
Thanks for the tip Space Cowboy–I will def be trying Piatto.
Donini’s on North uses Brother’s pep, it’s legit.
Who thinks they can get good donairs outside Halifax? Prove your claim, sir!
“LA SECRESTIA”
May I suggest “La Secrestia?” Billed as serving the “best pizza in Rome,” I can personally vouch that it was excellent, having a wonderful paper-thin crust.
Cheerio!
Veggies do not belong on pizza.
Stop trying to make it healthy… it’s not supposed to be.
Load that sum-bitch up with meat n cheese and devour it unmercifully.
http://cdn.themetapicture.com/media/funny-…
Several years ago there use to be a pizza joint at Historic Properties that had a stone oven.
Loved it.
I remember that place; the pizza there was quite good, but a little posher than I’m used to.
I’ve yet to go to Italy, but I’ve eaten pizza in most of the major cities in North America & the only memorable one was a tiny little thin crust hole in the wall pizzeria in Manhattan.
Their pizza was awesome, beyond good.
Everything else is a flattened dough ball with tomato ketchup thinly disguised with dried spices as ‘sauce’ . As for the salami / pepperoni debate . If my choices were either of those on a pizza or the box, I’d eat the box. It would taste better & be better for you.
CLAPCLAPCLAPCLAPCLAP!!!! YES!!! plus pepperoni on top gets all crispy and delicious!