Facebook Rant

This is for all that know & those that do not….I have

several times changed my message on facebook to reflect

that I do *** NOT *** want any extra applications, but for

some reason many people (and mostly the same ones)

continue to send me these rather annoying and (to me)

useless Zombies, Vampires, Werewolves, Food fights, Xme,

Top Friends, Celebrity Look Alikes, Pirates vs. Ninjas,

Super Wall, Fun Wall, Moods, Know me well, Hot Or Not,

Sticky Notes, Blackjack, Scrapbook, Poo Fight,

Superlatives, Panty Raid, Pet Monkey, Cartoon Me, Naughty

Or Nice, Toy Chest, Hotness, Peace Pipe, Bless Or Burn,

Crap Wall, Daily Hottie: Get it ?!?….

In case u don’t….I got even more of these….read on –

Bikini Girls, Pub Crawl, Sex And The City, What Are You

Wearing, The Zoo, South Park, Pay It Forward, Hot Friends,

SMS, Celeb Feed, Shoes & a few others.

If you STILL don’t get it lemme spell it out ****** “I

have NO USE for these or any other applications you could

POSSIBLY (or IMPOSSIBLY) conjure up”******

Then there are Pokes, Tickles, Tags, Wall Posts, Bells,

Whistles, SUCK MY ASS etc etc…to deal with…oh In case

u didn’t get it yet – I do ****** NOT ****** want any of

these either !

In other words (for those that didn’t read the SEVERAL

messages I put on my profile) I do not want ANY of your

applications/add ons. I use the internet as my primary

medium of communication (yes it IS true I do NOT have a

phone) u may use your internet for your own needs BUT I

CERTAINLY do not use mine for ANY of the above mentioned

or not mentioned on facebook, and YES ! I am competent

enough to find what I want to use on my PC on my own – in

case I am unable to do so I will be sure to ask. If (you

think or know) that some of these applications that

you have, send invitations automatically to all those on

your friends list….well….REMOVE them if you want to

stay on my friends list….simple isn’t it ?!

Google Face book applications see how many pages you get

on the face book application list.

Those that take this message personally consider this:

“you” have been doing this to me & after repeated requests

“you” failed to read/understand & continued unabated with

the onslaught, so if you feel I am being unreasonable –

well ** remove me from your friends list ** as we are

already at an impasse due to lack of common understanding.

Perhaps there will be a new program like face book that is

for “People you DISLIKE but HAVE to respect because they

are Human” then we can add eachother & the fact that “you”

didn’t read my profile updates, makes me a casual

accquaintance to you – so, find some people that share an

interest in your applications or Idea of fun & oh even

then ask them BEFORE you actualy take the liberty to send

an invitation, it REALLY is like people filling your home

mailbox with invitations or…yup – SHIT, that you don’t

need.

Let me ASSURE you AGAIN ! it is not fun for me & if an add

ons like the ones mentioned above or like…Club a seal,

Eat a Puppy, Throw a child to a tiger & then cum in the

tigers ear & then lick its ass & let tiger fart on your

face…seem fun to you then we do NOT share the same sense

of “fun”, solution ? … again ** REMOVE me from your list

of friends ! **

Also Thank you in advance to the people that have ever so

kindly advised me that I can simply just ignore all such

requests – why, how could have I POSSIBLY missed that idea

!!! I claim no stake at being the pioneer of deductive

reasoning but umm if this email to you has

thrown your life in turmoil, hmmm….wait ! “you” could

simply ignore this email….could that maybe mean that you

just asked me to ignore your “requests” when you could

have ignored this email ?!!

Here’s a brand new application, called Step By Step

explaination.

1> You send me say 30 or so invitations

2> I post on my Status Update for people to NOT do that

3> You continue to send me applications

4> I send a mass email

5>You answer back all mortifyed at my email & tell me that

I could just ignore all the applications you sent me

6> I write you another email asking you to heed your own

advice & ignore my first email.

here’s a thought …. with all this ignoring going on why

are we even on eachother’s “Friends” list (If the Step By

Step application did’nt work for you please ask your

school for a refund)

Also after this message all those that think it’ll be

funny to send me an application just to get a chuckle – Go

ahead try it…..!

OOoohhh Yes!!!, “YOU” did piss on “My”….”Facebook

Cornflakes” someone probably just made such an

application.

PS: Those that have never sent me such “must have”

applications (& those that missed Reading 101) & have

found this email to be – Oh so offensive, read the *first*

paragraph AGAIN, Yes…Yes…! the one on the very top,

(in case you missed Math 101) should you find it a

challenge, ask a Zombie to decipher the disclaimer…do

NOT ask a Petrolhead – they hear but don’t listen)

This article appears in Mar 20-26, 2008.