I always believed there is good in everyone. Then I met you, we fell in love, we got pregnant and now you want nothing to do with me. What man has sex unprotected with his girlfriend over and over, gets her pregnant and then just acts like she is evil because she morally does not want to have an abortion? Now I find myself pregnant and alone. I’m realizing how many people this actually happens to. I never got pregnant to try to keep you. What the hell am I getting from you? I was blinded by wanting love so badly, that I actually believed you were a kind human being. How quickly things have changed. Just when I thought I learned my lesson about douchebags—wham!!! Stupid me, gets fooled again. You are not god’s gift to women. How I could be honest and make you look like a fool? You are doing a great job on your own, looking like the loser that you are. —Fooled Again
This article appears in Back to School.
Why are you having unprotected sex when you’re not in a LTR? What couple having unprotected sex first doesn’t discuss what’s going to happen when a pregnancy occurs?
You sound like a boy crazy dummy. I’m sure your dude is a shit person too, but you control your vagina, not him.
This isn’t victim blaming or shaming, it’s take your fucking head out of the sand.
Stop looking for love until you know what love actually is.
“gets her pregnant”
Funny how in this world of equal rights and such it is still the guy’s fault when she becomes pregnant.
Take some ownership for the decisions you have made. Yes it is a shitty spot to be in but it takes two to tango.
Sucks that he bailed on you. I hope he keeps up with child support payments.
Nobody has unprotected sex over and over again and “finds themselves pregnant”.
This is Tattoo Face Boy all over again.
This bitch is about the regret OB feels for not protecting herself. Look, when you have unprotected sex, you open yourself up to a miriad of unpleasant possibilities. But NO ONE forced you to; you made the choice yourself – an informed choice. I can’t pity you nor can I hold your old BF to blame. You have options – employ them. Learn. Move on.
In 2016, there’s NO excuse for getting knocked up unless you secretly wanted to (my bet). The best thing you could do is give this child up for adoption so that it has a chance of a stable, loving home instead of growing up in poverty with a bitter mother. If you keep this kid, be prepared to work your ass off for the next 20 years – you made that choice when you decided to let a condomless dick come near you. Don’t go blaming anyone but yourself.
It’s not strictly true that there’s NO excuse, TTFB. I personally got knocked up while using both a condom and a contraceptive sponge (do they even still make those?) Both failed. At the same time. I shit thee not. Contraceptives do fail. Of course, this is moot in this case because OB specified *unprotected* sex, which is just dumb.
Women don’t use birth control pills anymore? Wow. Just wow.
Pills can sometimes have unwanted side affects.
But anyway, just get the abortion, its 2016 FFS.
Yeah, well, think about it a lot first. An abortion isn’t like having a wart removed, it carries a significant emotional weight with it that will affect you for years to come. I’m inclined to believe if you’re pregnant and don’t want a child then giving it up for adoption might be the healthiest solution for your mental wellbeing, though all the options suck.
I am mostly in agreement with Methinks, except for one thing. The boyfriend also made a choice; he made the choice not to wear a condom. Therefore he does indeed share the blame, and he is being a douchebag, and he deserves to get slapped with a child support order. Still can’t muster much sympathy for OB though.
You, and only you, are responsible for getting pregnant, as you control what gets stuffed into your vagina. No bare dicks = 95% chance of not getting pregnant. Many bare dicks = much greater chance of getting pregnant.
You let yourself get pregnant, now you’re looking for a scapegoat to share the blame. Good luck with your life as a victim!!!
Serious question, Furious P. If a man chooses to have sex with a woman and chooses not wear a condom, does he bear no responsibility at all if a pregnancy results? I’m not trying to start a pissing contest. I genuinely want to know what people think about this, and why.
Yote: The feminists argue themselves into a corner with this one.
If one party (the woman) has all the control (of her body/reproductive rights), then that party cannot ask another party (the man) to be responsible for something for which he now has no control. Now the man could be given some control (an abortion veto) but again the fems argue it is the women who must be in control of their body.
So no control = no responsibility…
Your problem is you think “we got pregnant”. Pregnancy is a biological state unique to women. Hence, a woman who doesn’t want to be in that state takes steps to avoid it.
Thanks for that response, city mouse. I am mostly on board with you. However, I would argue that the man does have some control: he can choose to wear a condom every time he has sex. As Furious pointed out, no bare dicks = very small (but non-zero) chance of pregnancy.
While I agree that women, having more rights with respect to reproduction, must accept a greater share of the responsibility, I think ultimately every individual is responsible for looking out for their own interests. If you don’t want to bear a child, use reliable contraception and insist that your partner wear a condom. If you don’t want to father a child, wear a condom every single time without having to be strong-armed into it.
Sorry, but no, he doesn’t. Should he? Yes, but a woman decides whether the sex will even happen let alone who gets to go bareback and blow a load inside. I never said he wasn’t a complete idiot, and yes, he is responsible for his decision, and responsible for looking after the child, but the woman bares all the responsibility for ending up pregnant. It’s her body, nothing happens to it without her say so.
Actually, a woman doesn’t get the final say over who gets to go bareback. The person with the final say over whether a condom is worn is the person wearing it. In a perfect world, I think a man who wears the condom has done his due diligence, and SHOULD be off the hook completely. I don’t think a guy who did everything in his control to avoid a pregnancy should be held responsible for the next 18 years for something which, as city mouse pointed out, he has no control over. But a guy who doesn’t wear the condom is 50% responsible for that pregnancy.
Of course, it’s not a perfect world, and people lie their asses off, men and women both. So I don’t have the answer.
Agreed Yote: both parties have control before conception. And your advice is bang-on (pun intended).
I’m questioning the feminist logic of who has responsibility after conception. Women have all the power at that point. Women get to decide if it is a human or a blob of protoplasm. Men have no part in that decision (unless allowed by the woman). I’m arguing a women cannot decide to create a responsibility for a man without his consent.
Yes he does. Legally, morally and physically.
100% agreed, city mouse. And I’m a feminist 😉 I don’t think women should be able to confer responsibility on a man without his consent. However, I think a reasonable argument can be made that voluntarily depositing one’s genetic material inside a woman constitutes consent.
I like ‘Yote’s logic in this one, except the no responsibility if you wear a condom. Everyone knows condoms aren’t 100% effective, same thing with most contraceptives. If you’re cumming inside a woman you are responsible for what happens (obviously there are exceptions to that, like poking holes in condoms and such).
I would agree with you, TaSB, if men had a say in what happens after conception. But they don’t, and as a woman, I’m not prepared to give them one.
Ok, Yote. Go ahead. Please make a reasonable argument that depositing one’s genetic material constitutes consent (for having the responsibility for raising a child).
People (including married and LTRs) have sex every day without the intent (and therefore consent) of creating humans.
You clearly understand the dilemma: either the woman has the power (over conception) or she shares it. It she does not share that power, she cannot morally make someone else responsible for her decision.
Women should take the control they have over situations and therefore won’t find themselves in situations such as this. A feminist dictum.
Maybe I wasn’t clear, city mouse. I was specifically referring to voluntarily depositing one’s genetic material, meaning not using a condom. If you choose not to wear a condom, you are choosing, of your own free will, to provide that genetic material with the full knowledge that a pregnancy could result. You will have done nothing to prevent that pregnancy from occurring. Men have as much responsibility for preventing conception as women. If you choose to abdicate that responsibility, you also relinquish the right to wash your hands of the result. That’s my argument. If you disagree with the premise that men share responsibility for preventing conception, then this argument will not convince you and we will have to agree to disagree.
It goes back to my early statement about personal responsibility. Every individual is ultimately responsible for looking out for their own interests. In the case of a man who does not want to father a child, looking out for your own interests means wearing a condom.
If a feller can’t see himself having a 20 year relationship of some kind or other with his lady friend, he’d better double bag his unit just to be sure. ‘Cause if she gets pregnant then the only thing to do is man up and do his best to give their spawn a decent life – and it’s gonna be a long, long, long haul.
So, if a man wears a condom and it breaks, and the lady becomes pregnant, is the man not still responsible for that child? Even though he took measures to try to avoid it, contraceptives aren’t 100% and most men know this.
Any time you put your dick in someone’s fertile vagina, covered or not, you are still responsible for the fetus.
If men want to take full control of their reproductive health, they should have conversations about unwanted pregnancies before engaging in sex and make sure that their partner is open to abortion before potentially knocking her up. But instead they’d rather play the “poor me” card and blame women for their poor life choices.
sincerely,
a feminist who believes it takes two people to make a baby, not just a woman.
There are too many young single moms in this province! And many with lots of different daddies! Ladies, get through school, University and get yourself a decent job that will provide for YOU, and stop getting your validation from a man. This bitch sounds like the same scenario, she’ll be working at Tim’s all her life, complaining about how she doesn’t have any money. YOU control your life, time to take control. She’s pregnant with a man that doesn’t want her or the baby? Get the abortion, stop dating until you get your life sorted out and next time, use protection until you are married and planning a family. Is abortion wrong? Well…the same ‘God’ that tells you it’s wrong also tells you premartial sex is wrong, so why pick and choose?
Yes!! Junebug..i couldnt have said it better myself! So many women/ girls in this world pinning all of their happiness and self worth on having a man or holding onto a man.There are more important things to focus your energies on.Go to school, get a decent job, find your passion.Then, if the right comes along, they won’t be your only focus in life, because you’ll be too busy doing your own thing.