I love having sex with you. —Wife
This article appears in Mar 1-7, 2012.

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21 Comments
love of the week
I find this love very vague.
you have even taken down the ‘just married’ sign yet, have you?
just wait for it…
Poooor zed. His heart’s still all broken and stuffz. 🙁
not quite… eyes are more open though.
…
or is her 16″ oversized hawg of a dildo nicknamed ‘hubby’?
it could happen.
Sooooo have ya turned into one of those “I’ll never get married AGAIN!” guys, zed?
Also: 16″ dildo?
That sounds really scary and not at ALL appealing. My cervix hurts from the mere suggestion. :|
maybe…
it’s bad when an eggplant feels insecure by comparison…
would it be any better if the 16″ were the circumference?
Ok. Now the visual I have in my head (of a 16 inch thick dildo) makes my vagina hurts.
Jerk.
FYI:
Average circumference of the human male penis is 5 inches.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v3rhQc666Sg
Highly inappropriate prying question: where would zed be located on a standard deviation chart of this sort?
AHAHAHA.
it’s not 16 inches thick… it’s only ~ 5 inches thick. c = pi * d
average is a ~ 1.5 inch thick dong… hardly bratwurst-worthy.
I didn’t need to, nor want to know that.
I think you’re thinking about an irish sausage, not a bratwurst.
Irish sausage is huge. Brats are only about 6.5 inches in circumference.
I hate how I’m now wanting bangers and mash for supper….
but couldn’t possibly go through with it.
Oooh road trip to Paddy’s tonight?
Mmm bangers and mash.
Donk do you? I find it comically straightforward.
I was le joking Ella under my umbrella ella ella (I hope you get the reference)
Lol-ers
yak.
I could make a better song auto-tuning my balls clacking together
Shut up you.
😉
Ahhh so zed has a pair of ‘slappers.’
And lay off donk, mister. I’m warning ya.
who the hell says…
“here’s my number, call me maybe”
really… is her name ‘maybe’ … or is she just ridiculously stupid…
or so uninventive that she couldn’t come up with a decent rhyme and just threw that piece of shit together?
I know I know, zed, I was just teasin’.
“”here’s my number, call me maybe””
Whatchutalkingbout? :0
That’s NOT Rihanna … please get is right zZz!!!!!!!!!!!!
I know… but it ain’t any better either.
I heard it on the stupid radio again this morning
(for about 15 seconds until I shut the fucking thing off)
I don’t get that poppy, shitty music they think is popular these days.
silence is golden.