Who says men have an easier time finding a good woman on a dating site than the other way around? From personal experience, I can tell you that is a crock of shit.
Let me start off by saying a good personality is vital to me, but looks play just as important of a role. I’m an athletic, successful guy who’s attracted to a certain type. When filling out my profile, I came across the physical pref section and put exactly the type I go for.
Some girls clearly didn’t adequately read my profile because I seem to be getting a tad too many emails from heavy women. I sound shallow but I can’t help what I’m attracted to and I’d like a girl who is a match for me. I have a lot going for me and I think I can afford to be a little picky.
What frustrates me is that when I don’t respond, some of them message me again. If I didn’t write back before, what makes you think I’ll write back now. One lovely woman went the extra length and asked me why I’m not interested, after messaging me twice before. I figured I could at least give her a reason and politely told her that physical attraction was important to me and that I was sure many other men out there would go for her. What did I get? “Go fuck yourself, you superficial piece of shit!”
Other women I won’t respond to are ones who say “hey what’s up!” or “hey sexy” or something random, and nothing else.
And what is with these women anyway? They seem to be desperate and clueless. Out of 10 that I don’t write back to, 4-5 will write again. One even said “Don’t by shy”! Fuck sakes, I’m not shy, I’m just not interested.
Also, believe it or not, this is on one of the sites you PAY for. The website gives me about 10 matches daily. I’ve been using it for 2 months now, and hate to say it but, out of all my “matches”, only about 5% were women I considered. I have honestly blocked more than messaged.
Where the hell are the attractive sane women?! —Looking for Quality Ladies
This article appears in Jul 18-24, 2013.
“hey sexy”
I doubt anyone ever said that to you
“Where are all the sexy white women at?!”
Thats you, ya fool
I guess the horse isn’t quite dead yet….
but he’s getting mighty loopy.
http://img.gawkerassets.com/img/18uogehhru…
All the women you’re looking for are either already taken or enjoying being single and don’t need ‘dating sites’.
It’s ok to have standards op but it sounds to me like yours are too high. You’re looking for a supermodel with a giant brain, successful and perfect.
What makes you think you’re up to that standard? Maybe adjust your standards just a WEE bit to match your own personal assets. Nobody walks up to a million dollar house with a thousand dollar downpayment in his pocket. Sorry. But if you were worth the standards you set on the opposite sex, you wouldn’t have to pay to meet someone.
Reality check.
Try the bushes…
Hey OP. You try messaging anyone yourself? No responses? Maybe you’re not up to their standards.
By the way, cancel your subscription you’re throwing money away with those paid sites.
Pre-dating site hell:
ELAINE: So what you are saying is that 90 to 95 percent of the population is undateable?
JERRY: UNDATEABLE!
ELAINE: Then how are all these people getting together?
JERRY: Alcohol.
OB you sound like a Putz, if you have to tell people you are All That then likley you are not.
Not being interested in fat chicks isn’t a standard, its a preference, which is fine, but your sign-off ‘looking for quality ladies’ indicates that you might think that fat chicks are of less value than slim chicks. Not the case, I’m sure there are lots of guys out there into fat chicks.
I was going to say that maybe your standards are too high but, upon reading the bitch again, realized that you are both athletic aaAAAnd successful. I realize that you deserve more than the world has to offer. I will now apologize for all the fat chicks out there making your life a living hell.
The fact that you took the time to write this speaks to your personality. GUESS WHAT. Dating is like sales, you need to throw many lines out there hoping for a bite. If its only heavy girls messaging you, something tells me that you aren’t looking in a realistic mirror.
“I am smart/sexy/funny and adventurous/cool/hip but I can’t find any dates that are up to my [lofty] standard. There must be something wrong with the world because surely there’s nothing wrong with me!”
These bitches are the best.
You thought that women messaging strange men online would be cream of the crop? The attractive ones are the ones recieving the messages, unsolicited.
Also, it strikes me that the only difference between a pay site and a non pay site is that the people on there are actually willing to PAY for the chance at finding someone who will put up with them. Do you think that makes them more, or less deperate than people who create a free profile on POF or somewhere?
I like Kijiji, got a really cute cat on there.
“And what is with these women anyway? They seem to be desperate and clueless.” – The aren’t the only ones OP.
That said, there’s nothing wrong with having preferences. You are attracted to what you’re attracted to.
Are you sure they were chunky chicks and not Mike Savage in the dress?
I just quit this same site today. Most of my “matches” looked like sex offenders. Or they were looking for hookups.
You can’t blame a girl for trying… Maybe she’s heavy, but has a dazzling personality. Maybe she sees the world through eyes that see past physical appearance. Just maybe, she has confidence, and feels that she can bring many desirable characteristics to the table.
most guys are ‘visual’. its not something they have any choice about. I think that whatever first turned them on at puberty is physically what sticks with them. that ‘look’ triggers them. anything else is their mom.
if we saturated the junior high locker rooms with porn featuring lusciously endowed women, we would create a generation of men who, forever after, would sproing to attention at the penningtons window.
for past couple generations, the teen sex symbols that have first sparked young boys attention have been waif-like nymphets. so they get stuck with that til they die.
my theory.
Nothing wrong having preferences, looking for the perfect lady but the sign-off “looking for quality ladies” is a bit crass. Looks are only a part of quality.
Are you messaging anybody? Are they messaging back? Maybe Miss Perfect isn’t there. Block those you aren’t interested in and keep plugging away, so to speak. If you’re that great a catch, you should meet your lady before too long.
Lemme guess, this poster is another TOTALLY AVERAGE dude who thinks he’s a superstar, one of many of the guys you find on an online dating site. These guys overestimate their own looks– they look in the mirror and see Brad Pitt when everyone else sees Steve Buscemi. They also think they are fun, sweet, and intelligent when they’re just another typical douchebag with a lower IQ than Forrest Gump.
Buddy, you probably think just because you’re paying to use this site that you’re entitled to a hottie. Wrong!
I bet ya if my cousin contacted you (she’s on the dating site I think you’re on), you’d delete her message, too. She’s educated, smart, successful, hilarious, and always helping people. She’s also really pretty, but since she’s larger than a size 4, you’d reject her. Wouldn’t you? Asshole.
I’ll let you in on a little secret: women who have it all– good looks, intelligence, great personality– aren’t on these dating sites, they’ve already been snatched up by men who completely blow your ego-inflated, delusional ass outta the water.
Dating is a game that requires effort. It’s not enough to ask that people accept you as you are. You have to look polished, regardless of body type, be interesting, have hobbies and generally try not to be an annoying idiot.
Visual does matter, even for women. That is why we have body language, eye contact, etc. These things don’t work in online dating, at least in the email stage, so we have to go by photos. And let’s face it, not everyone takes good photos.
But here are some tips:
HAVE a photo. It’s just weird emailing back and forth to a blue silhouette. Also, not wanting to send photos makes me think you have something to hide. Not looks, but maybe you’re married and don’t want to get caught (this has happened to me).
Wear something nice in your photos. Not a T-shirt you got out of a case of beer and which is full of stains. Keep your shirt on. I personally don’t respond to men who take photos of themselves showing off their abs in a bathroom mirror. Not classy.
Shave. Get a haircut. Have someone else take the photo. Have good lighting. For Christ sakes, smile! Don’t pose. You’re not on the red carpet.
Don’t include photos of your boat, car, house or dog. We don’t date these things.
Have RECENT photos. If you post a photo from 10, 20 years ago and you look significantly different, then you can’t hide that stuff. Eventually, you will be found out when you meet. And don’t think, “Oh, when he meets me he will love me regardless!” Not true. He will think you’re a liar.
Don’t lie about weight. Or height. Or marital status.
Attraction DOES matter. And people are attracted to different things. OP likes skinny women. Don’t bash him for it. There are men who love full figured women. Focus on finding them instead of bashing men who want skinny women. I prefer fit men, but there are women who love big men.
If you want hook ups, be upfront about it. Don’t waste the time of people who are looking for more. There are lots of potential hook ups out there.
That’s all.
Milk and Juice, I know lots of smart, hot women with great personalities on dating sites. But they get hit on by married men bored with their wives.
I’m with milk n juice mostly on this one. Although I’d like to point out online dating seems to have more than the average amount of superficial dorks. I appreciate when their profile does say they only like skinny women. It saves my time.
First mistake – on-line dating. Just wading through that steaming pile of posted horseshit to get to the truth of who someone really is would drive me bonkers. The final insult: paying for this shit.
OP, you might keep in mind that expectations are planned disappointments. Especially on the Internet.
These people who bash the OP for not giving larger women a shot must be attracted to every person who walked the planet ever! Must make the dating process easier. I guess you’re all with someone, so why are you complaining?
If someone is into fitness and eating healthy that is a way of life for them. Clearly, they will be attracted to people who look like they put in the same effort.
Be honest with yourselves: you turn down other people for equally superficial reasons: They have bad teeth, are too short, have no hair. This is not an anti-fat-chick issue. Everyone has a “type.”
Ya poor fools, leading such sensually deprived lives.
This guy, OB, doesn’t know what he’s missing
BBW’s all the way! I ain’t no fool when it comes to real beauty & quality
GdM & HfxGurl.
Molly, you’re kinda right about the visual thing. My preferences/dislikes come from the positive and negative female influences of my life.
For example, if you remind me of my mother or evil sisters (remember Ann and Nancy Wilson), sorry I just can’t. But if you’re more like my fathers sisters or my grandmother, then yes.
Gurl, I do/did add pics of Blue and my bike. This is to let people know that motorcycling and my dog are a big part of my life. Love me, love my dog sort of thing.
My problem is that, all the (all in one) Rocket Scientist, Biker Chicks, Rocker Babes that are my age, were all snatched up a long time ago 🙁
Biscuit: Whattup, Nappy Headz?!
er, “Nappy Headed Stud seeks Nappy Headed Fox”
What has always perplexed me is if you just can’t seem to find Mr/Ms right . You may want to stop trying to find that “love at first sight” person & perhaps go a bit slower & take some time to get to know them. I’m not saying you can’t have a ‘type’ but body size changes over time & often can change much quicker than personality & intelligence.
Someone who has interests & traits similar to yours , is into activities etc that you are as well is a much better match than what they look like in a spandex outfit .
But how will you ever know without taking the time to get to know them ? & OP I believe all the women you are looking for are just as shallow as you are, with the same fantasy of perfect love at first sight ….. Too bad