Yes, I understand my lilac tree is beautiful, I like it too! I also understand it is next to the road, but it is planted in my yard, and consequently my property. So when I go outside to admire my beautiful flowering tree, it really pisses me off to see a bunch of jerks have cut off almost every flower below 7 feet on the tree. Without asking, I would have allowed you to take a few if you had politely asked. Worse yet are the people who have pulled whole branches and huge chunks of bark off my tree, severely damaging it in your attempt to steal my flowers. If I see one more grubby hand go for my yard which I have worked so hard on I will call the cops. You are thieves and you’ve destroyed my tree in the process. Seriously, if you’d just asked I would have shared! —Seriously Pissed
This article appears in May 24-30, 2012.
i love lilac trees, we just planted one in our backyard. i would never just take someone’s blooms without asking, i prefer to leave them and enjoy the heady aroma on my ride home. hands off the lilacs bitches
My mom planted a lilac tree in 1993 at our old house and when we moved in 1998 it was spectacular… four years later and the assfucks who bought my childhood home let their dog piss on it and their kids rip it down.
Assfucks needin’ to learn some respect fo’ the lilac!
Also: PG’s right! Never take someone else’s blooms! Leave that shit alone.
I’m really sorry to hear about your tree, OB. You sound like an awesome person for being willing to share.
A BLOOM THAT’S CUT CAN ONLY DIE! Keep your dickskinners off of other people’s greenery or feel the wrath of Ivan Grozny.
aww lilacs remind me of my granny…she had a tree in her yard. I’d probably be a shitfuck and steal some too. Sorry in advance.
When you sell your house only you only get to keep the memories.
OB, find yourself some of this stuff:
http://thmb.inkfrog.com/thumbn/maltipaws/D…
Wrap yourself in it and hide your ass in amongst the blooms. When the thoughtless fucksticks come to raid your tree, switch to Predator mode, grab the prick, whisper, “Not this time, you tree raping bastard!” and rear-naked-choke his ass until he passes out. Leave the unconscious body lying there as a warning to the others. Slowly meld yourself back into the foliage.
Remember: Motionless patience is key.
gawd, don’t give us ideas vastie
You’re an interesting fellow Vastie. And, by interesting, I guess what I really mean is deeply, darkly disturbed.
>; )
just be glad it wasn’t on your porch. if it ain’t nailed down o.p., it will disappear. probly kids that took them home to make mommy happy, from her doped/drunken old man. pity them, not punish them.
I hate those diagrams avast0. I couldn’t see anything!
i saw 2 butterflies in it fucking, and they weren’t doing it right. dumb fucking bugs.
What I envision is a ‘predator’ crossed with spiderman…
invisible until the last minute, sliding down, enveloping them in the camouflage and hauling them back up the tree to do with as you will.
I particularly liked the ‘tree raping bastard’ battle cry.
I saw varying shades of purple and white but no forms.