Every time I see you, you have such a great smile, you’re so polite and not to mention your sexy scruff and voice. I only wish I had the courage to ask you out for coffee some time. —Looking Longingly From Behind the Desk
This article appears in Apr 19-25, 2012.


I’m afraid I don’t have much going for me except my (apparently) sexy voice and politeness. I haven’t been completely oblivious to your shy smiles and how you try to engage me in conversation. I’ve sensed that you’ve wanted me to take the next step and ask you out, and I’d love to get to know you better, if I felt like I myself was worth getting to know. The coolest thing about me is probably my wallet (if you are who I hink you are you’ll know what that means). Anyway, my wallet and I will be at Gus’ Pub this Saturday for the Nirvana tribute show. If I see you there I promise to come up to you and introduce myself, though I guess you probably already know my name.
–I Don’t Drink Coffee