You are a controlling prick – you do not delegate because you cannot relinquish control on ANYTHING – You don’t even trust the people you fucking well hired. You impose ridiculous rules, like out of the fucking 1950s and I often have to choke my lunch down because you will not tolerate anyone eating a crumb after one o’clock. You won’t allow the staff to dress down on casual Fridays even though the rest of the departments do. You are incompetent and stupid, I wish to fuck you’d get hit with a 1000 lb. anvil with pissed off wasps on it.
—Hopes the Anvil Gets Ya, Shithead!
This article appears in Jun 18-24, 2009.
“a 1000 lb. anvil with pissed off wasps on it.”
classic
I love this.
Don’t knock the 1950s
hit by an anvil? who is your boss, Yosemite Sam?
…but what if he whips out a tiny umbrella at the last second?
You could always ask for a transfer to the other dressed down departments or even quit – I hear anvil makers are looking for interns
B: Are you pondering what I’m pondering Pinky?
P: I think so Brain, but how do they get the wasps inside of those anvils?
They’re Anvil wasps, Pinky – highly attracted to ACME products and a flaming death sword for tiny umbrellas with mice and/or coyotes underneath.
We really should start stratigically placing things like anvils on rooftops and hanging from tree branches so that they might fall on deserving villans. Then we can start CSI:Cartoons.
I prefer falling pianos.
(But I think the tiny umbrella still works for them, too.)
A well-aimed 500 lb. boulder covered in fire ants also works wonders for a harassed employee’s psyche.