This was almost a Love, almost. A certain coffee chain just released a new offering, dark roast. As I’m usually a fan of their regular brew I had to try it out. Unfortunately for them I was not impressed. So that night my girlfriend gets home and it turned out she had bought a pound of it from the shop that morning while on the way to work. Surprise! Well, thats twice now I wasn’t impressed because now I have a pound of the stuff and I had to pretend to be thankful and thats not easy. Thats when I decide to try an experiment and put one scoop of dark in with a scoop of regular. It was delicious! So then I was at the coffee shop two days later with a friend and asked if I could have half and half but sadly they would not mix the two. Fuck you! You’ll mix other drinks but not your precious coffee. And thats why this a Bitch now and not a Love. —Nukka
This article appears in Nov 20-26, 2014.
Nukka, I say this to you as a friend. Get a K#&r!g. Not only do you get multitudinous choices of flavoured hot morning bevvies and the satisfaction of filling landfills with plastic.
It can provide hours of amusement to jollify your inner 12 year old.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tfV_EfLQJZ…
Yeah, I saw this on TMZ. Theirs was a lot funnier
Nooo…don’t be pushing that K machine. The new ones are haunted by the ghost of Steve Jobs and will only work with authorized K Cup vendors with the proper barcode.
Bastards!
Ours is a couple of years old and I have drunk deep of the koolaid, er, chocolate mocha swirl. It sits in a corner of our kitchen , like a Roman household god, glowing luminescent blue, awaiting morning propitiations and rewarding the supplicant with a mug of luscious nectar requiring only a healthy tot of peppermint infused Christmas Kahlua to make life compleat.
HAHA so they decided to rip off Tassimo technology, eh?
Tassimo brews a better cup of coffee – temp’s hotter and it just tastes better… but the selection is really lame 🙁
because I once played a rocket scientist on tv I would suggest buying a pound of each type and mixing at home.
tassimo uses steam – I love mine for lattes and capps. you get a nice foam. and using just the espresso pods with a shot of liqueur. speaking of which, ivan, home made irish cream awaits anyone coming over to hack down their own Christmas tree in the back 40.
A lovely offer, MollyDog, but we have an artificial which, over the past nine years has become our beloved Charlie Brown Tree.
I’ll have the breadlady give you a big Slavic hug by proxy. The Irish Cream sounds delectible.
Nukka,
Wrap the beans in cling wrap and put them in the microwave.
(Avatar #87: A Letter from HAUPSTADT DER BEWEGUNG!)
A pleasure as always.
Cheerio!
AAAAACK! You all have it wrong! You need a French press, a kettle of boiling water and QUALITY beans (or freshly ground, small amount stored in the fridge and the rest in the freezer). And THs? AAAAACK!
AAAAACK!
What beans, MM? Its ground coffee, where have you been?
Have a Kuerig at work and I abuse it everyday. I’m the guy that when it says it needs water, I walk away. Never used a Tassimo before but if they’re to be believed then the barcode does make it better. Can’t have either at home because the person I live with is completely against the amount of waste they produce and when it comes to an argument or decision, I typically lose.
But yeah, the chain in question will mix any drink with any drink and charge you for the more expensive one but they will not mix the two coffees. Maybe one has nitrates in it?
And for the haters: the chain in question sells about two billion cups of coffee a year and pours eight out of ten coffees served in Canada.
They obviously must be doing something wrong and serving us absolute garbage that has a befitting taste, right?
Nobody will ever hear a peep or negative comment from me of my favorite java brew from my second home. Now, if they’d set up a cot in the back room, i’d be the first to move in.
Order a small of each, and ask for an empty medium cup to combine them in?
Not only do they have a massive fan base, last week on vacation I saw them at least as far south as West Virginia! That’s infringing on the delectable Krispy Kreme territory dammit!
ON TO RICHMOND!
Agreed Meaty, she said as she took a sip if her freshly pressed coffee….a pinch of salt over the grounds before you put the water in really brings out the flavour–try this OP, it make my morning mellow roast taste amazing!
RSVP
Nukka (11/27, 9:32AM)
“What beans, MM? It’s ground coffee, where have you been?”
I’ve been to Barcelona. We used to grind our coffee beans by hand. I can post a picture of the grinder if you like. Write back soon.
A pleasure as always.
Cheerio!
A double double from TH is not a coffee.
It still tastes like toxic swamp water when consumed black. TH’s popularity is as much about their drive-thrus as it is about their vile, bitter coffee.
I prefer President’s Choice Dark Roast over most local coffees, including Starfucks and their obscenely overpriced cup of joe. Best coffee in the city, IMHO, is Steverino’s (two locations: Robie St. and Brunswick St.) and Java Blend on North Street.
I’m surprised jgoreham ‘s solution didn’t immediately come to mind.
Like… duh.
and how hard can it be really to spoof a bar code?
couldn’t you just keep reusing the same one?
You can’t tell me every single cup has a unique one that needs to authenticate.
doh! I get it now, he wants the mix in a cup on site. I got side tracked with bringing home a pound.
I don’t see why they wouldn’t/couldn’t pour a half n half of each in one cup. I love tims. I love all sorts of coffee. except starbucks. but that’s my personal taste, as its obviously well loved by a lot of others.
I never had a taste for Steve-o-renals. Personally, best coffee in the city goes to Cabin Coffee.
as a treat i like the mocha lattes at the drive thru stevos on robie, but it depends on whose working
RSVP:
montrealman (11/27 12:03pm)
I’ve sailed to Europe, been all over the Med and made one trip to the Persian Gulf. Not to mention been all over the Caribbean, Gulf of Mexico and the States and Canada. Whats your point? You’ve been to Barcelona so you think you’re special? Or maybe that only you can be the ruling opinion on what constitutes a “coffee” because once again, you’ve been to Barcelona?
I stop into a place on North St every week or two and usually get two pounds of fresh roasted beans. Does that mean one can never return to a so called pre- brewed or pre- ground coffee? Thats just foolish and implies that one is a severely narrow minded individual.
Write back soon.
My guiding principle is that good coffee can be enjoyed without sugar and dairy. Although TH coffee is labelled coffee, it is almost invariable a caffeinated sugar-milk blend.
I’ve tried just about everything in our Great City – steve-o, TH, SB, SC, Julian’s, L&B, JU!, JB, and many more. Best coffee is my home brew; best lattes and cappuccinos are from Julian’s, and only because I can’t make them at home.
Speaking of coffee, I used to work in an office that started a coffee group fund. It was meant to provide fresh brewed coffee, milk, cream, etc. Everyone was supposed to contribute a certain amount (or an IOU) to a box beside the coffee machine for each cup they helped themselves to. I liked the system because it was very convenient and, also, on some days I would drink four cups and other days just one – so I just paid for what I drank. The only problem was that someone in the office would take three or four cups every day and not contribute. We had an idea who it was but no proof so the fund lost money and we ended up dropping it. My question is, can someone point me to where the universal law is written that there must be at least one selfish f***ing a$$hole in every group? … because I’m sure that rule exists….
I guess I should also add that I drink two cream with no sugar. I enjoy Steve O Reno’s cappuccinos four or five times a week. I hate SB’s and will usually only go to TH’s when I’m meeting up with someone. We do however keep TH’s in the fridge at home but that is a joint decision which I will accept the responsibility for.
TT, I’ve seen you at TH’s at least two or three times this year. What fowl devils swamp water it must truly be!!!
“I’ve been to Barcelona” is a bit of wit – sheesh. maybe you should switch to decaff (means take all the coffee out and leave a cup of useless liquid)
(and the fly fisherman of the hour award goes to MM)
That’s pretty interesting, Nukka, since you have no idea who I am or what I look like. Must be all the cotton top seniors at TH confusing you. Only my fellow Summiters know me in person, a group I’ve been part of for nearly five years.
Your paw swing back is pretty weak, Nuk-nuk!
RSVP
: Nukka (11/27, 1:45PM)
“What’s your point?”
Clearly, you have missed my point. What was my point? There were actually two points. The first was that we just haven’t travelled to Barcelona, we lived there. (We also lived in Rome but that’s another story.) To be specific we didn’t live in Barcelona proper but in La Floresta, a village to the north of Barcelona and then in Castelldefels another village on the beach to the south. But since you are clearly familiar with every aspect of Europe it will not be necessary to comment on its geography further.
My second point was while I made no claim to being an expert on coffee – once again that is clearly another aspect of your expertise – the topic (“Coffee”) did resurrect memories of the Spanish hand-powered coffee grinder from the Barcelona flea market, a picture of which I have posted. We were into arts and crafts at the time, but I suppose you are expert on that as well.
Write back soon.
: Bad dog Molly (2:28PM)
“Fisherman of the hour?” Do you think I was angling? Read my comment to Nukka above. Do you still think I was angling? Write back soon.
A pleasure as always.
Cheerio!
ha! what I meant, MM, is that you are very good at throwing lures that he appears to be helpless to ignore. he goes into a frothing frenzy at every one.
Stick your special order bullshit up your ass, OB. Ain’t nobody got time for your half this, half that, shit you have to explain to the chick who doesn’t give a shit what you find tasty in the morning. She told you no, get the fuck over it. If it ain’t on the menu, please fuck off!!!!! Place a standard order, move to the side and wait for your shit. You want your special made up shit, make it the fuck at home.
Solution: Reusable K-cups – Now The Captain can fuel his addiction while still pandering to his environmental conscience
RSVP
: Bad dog Molly (4:57PM)
Yes bad Dog, he probably realizes that he is out of his depth. But then again even that is problematic since realizing that one is out of one’s depth is one of the things one suffering from serious cognitive shortfalls does not normally realize. It is part of what it means to suffer from “serious cognitive shortfalls.”
A pleasure as always.
Cheerio!
Tassimo TH cups actually brew stronger coffee than in store. My dad is addicted to both store and tassimo TH, and he has to add water to his tassimo blend.
TH gives me massive gut rott. No other coffee does this, except this year starbux’s caramel brule latte (random). Anyone criticizing starbux doesn’t get their schtick – their business model is to sell an experience. And, with TH’s recent price increase, Starbucks coffee isn’t that much more expensive. It’s the specialty drinks that are pricier and if you don’t want to spend that much, then don’t and leave the rest of us who like to treat ourselves, alone. They have top notch customer service and give their employees benefits, so suck it, haters.
I know it’s de riguer in certain circles to loathe and fear all things “korporate”, and I have no idea what it’s like to labor within their business model, but from this customer’s perspective, barStux works damned well. In terms of quality of product and customer service they are consistently excellent. I’ve seen a lot of very intelligent and talented young people as long-term employees at the branch I frequent. I miss them when they leave, but I figure they are going on to bigger, better things.
*”Peppermint Java Chip Frappuchino” waves to the guys and gals at Chapters/Micmac. See ya Saturday >: )*
BDM, maybe theres actually two fisherman on this thread…. and I got a double bite.
MM doesn’t need you to fight his battles for him.
“their business is to sell an experience” that includes burnt drip coffee and processed food. Their beans are good for home brewing, though.
If your drink doesn’t meet your standards, the staff will happily replace your drink.
As far as the food goes – do you think TH does a better job? At least starbucks doesn’t give many people I know the shits, unlike TH. I know a lot of folks who can’t eat/drink their stuff without having to drop a load of diarrhea.
TH is terrific paint stripper.
I totally agree with you, Kitty, it’s gut rot at its worst. Talk to any TH employee and they’ll tell you stories that would make your triple-triple jump out of the cup.
As far as the Starfucks Experience goes, I’ll have the TT Experience, go into my kitchen and brew up a pot. Saves me many bucks and I don’t have to look at the many pretentious twats who frequent those places. Kitty excluded. Kitty’s cool where ever she goes!
The problem is that they can only replace awful coffee with more awful coffee. Their treat drinks are nice though, and it seems that their staff is happy given how little turnover the company has.
why OB? Is it because it actually tastes closer to real coffee?
PK
Caffeine is a diuretic. There’s probably just more caffeine in Tim’s coffee.