To all of you straight male identified folk in Halifax who consider themselves allies or feminists: step up and stop treating the woman in our communities like toys. Halifax has so many beautiful, strong, creative, talented female identified folks and they deserve so much better than what you are dishing. Try kindness and friendship before you objectify/sleep with us. Treat us the way you would want your friends, your family, your community, your sisters and mothers to be. I get it. It’s hard sometimes, but this needs to change. Just be honest, straight forward and take a breath and try to know yourself a little more before you leap. I have seen too many tears from too many friends in this city. Our femme folk deserve so much better and it starts with you. Instead of warning us that you don’t want to hurt us, just don’t. Be cool and kind and honest. Be the good ally you present yourself to be. —Tears on our pillows
This article appears in Dec 25-31, 2014.
Yeah, this will bring the “allies” running to your backyard.
Fer sher.
Oh for fuck sake!
Or is it: for fuck’s sake?
Is fuck capitalized? Given that fuck is the subject of the sentence and that fuck appears to be a personification, is it capitalized?
Did I mention I was shopping for toys while in Montreal? I found an interesting piece at Priape – made of soft silicone rubber. My other favorite store is Fetiche Armada. they’re not big on toy selection but they have a great collection of leather – all handmade buy one of the store owners. He does an excellent job.
I’ll bet wackiness ensues when PETA, feminazis and Westboro Baptists all stage their protests on the same day.
I prefer my “toys” in styrene plastic. SOBova got me this for Christmas:
https://s1.scalemates.com/products/img/4/7…
They sleep with you? I think it works both way ….. yep, you slept with them! Guys would ejaculate in a kleenex if you weren’t there, and we do! Why would you think you were special?
It literally takes what, a couple weeks to figure out the intentions of a guy? You could maybe just hold off on sleeping with them? Or is personal responsibility a tool of the patriarchy?
Ah, looking for the proverbial “nice guy” eh? I think it’s safe to say that you don’t speak for all who identify as a woman.
The recent war on alpha males has an interesting effect on beta males (if that is a term). As a “beta male” (aka “nice guy”), this situation has really not helped much. You see, unless alcohol comes out to play, some of us (me) introverted “nice guys” have trouble expressing our sexuality, because of exactly this. You see, I worry too much about making anyone feel uncomfortable. Hitting on/Flirting with women can become quite daunting for me if I’m trying to make a romantic connection (not necessarily sex, just to indicate “hey, I kinda like you”). Treating girls like friends is usually how I go about it, I’m not shy, I can carry very good conversation, I’m just awful at flirting.
I’m not trying to emulate womanizers or players, I’d just like to be able to flirt to let the girl know I’m interested in her. Flashback to the letter the woman wrote about the anonymous C-List Canadian celebrity she went on a date with. When I read that, I saw an awkward guy, who like me, didn’t know how to flirt properly (and also not pick up on social signals, which I don’t have a problem with, it’s acting on them that’s an issue). That write up just made me feel like shit, because well, that was me, trying to come out of my sexual shell and flirt a bit, only to be looked upon as and idiot who didn’t know how to read signals or how to properly flirt. Turns out Jian was a huge d-bag, so I no longer think that, it’s clear now he was just a creep caught up in his own ego.
I know plenty of alpha males, and guess what, they get plenty of girls. There is no denying that an alpha male personality is much better at getting women (for sex, dates, whatever) than “nice guys”. There’s no point in being mad about it, lets not deny and shun and spit on our basic human nature. I know that not all girls are into alpha males (and the OB is probably one of them) as I’ve many meaningful relationships in the past. Life evolves to give itself the best chance of survival, that’s where the whole alpha male preference comes from. Females of any species want their offspring to have the best chance possible of survival. As humans we’ve evolved past these more basic instincts, but lets not forget what has brought us to this point. It can explain a lot.
Cheerio
nice men will ‘dish out’ nice behaviour, and assholes will dish out assholery.
always has been, always will be.
same in reverse.
nice women will treat you well and bitches will bite your testicles off and use them for chewing gum.
there are good people and there are creeps. best if people find their own matches, but doesn’t always happen. there, that’s my gramma advice for today .
FFS. Is this for real?
What the fuck is this “identify as women” bullshit? Can I identify myself as a table? A horse? This shit is really getting ridiculous!!!
Has your head been buried in the sand for the past few years Harper? Never heard of GLBTQ? I don’t quite get it, but I feel very comfortable as a male (white too, so ya, won that lottery). I’m guessing you feel quite comfortable with your gender as well. Not everyone feels that way, for whatever reason. I won’t understand it, but there’s enough people out there to form a community, so accept it, I’m sure it won’t ruin your life, or even affect it in any way.
I actually know actual people that think using gendered pronouns is an insult because they don’t identify as the gender they were born with and prefer to be called ‘it’. I respect their choice…BUT, they turn into shitty assholes when even strangers ‘dare to presume’. That shit is wack.
Agreed Modkisser, that actual shit is actually whack 🙂
So, TASB… as a gay guy, I don’t get the whole BTQI thing, let alone people with vaginas telling me they are men. So, my friend Harper is well within his right to question the whole thing.
And while Furious know people who prefer to be called “it” (really?), I saw a person on a news report who preferred to be called “they”.
Following the logic of re-identifying oneself, we may indeed identify ourselves as tables or horses so ridiculing his proposal is unfair.
Open the door and things come in. You opened the door…
I am no longer a human gay man. I am a polyamorous piece of concrete. Suck my pebbles.
I don’t get it either, HF, and for sure question everything. The only reason I included “identify as a female” instead of just female, or she, was because the OB used that phrase. But it’s prominent enough, even in our smallish city, that I won’t dismiss it as ridiculous.
P.S. looking forward to a long and controversial stay as a commenter here, lets stir shit up
latelt… stir even the slightest shit up == banhammer
If I identify as a spawn of satan that doesn’t make me a demon.
It just means I choose to be an asshole about what people say to me based on my initial appearance to them.
Pretty cheeky for a beta male, TSB. You lil female gendered insult, you.
dating in fort mac
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U_pH-rDy1D…
Gals need to realize that they’re the common denominator in all of their failed relationships.
damn straight. most real thing i’ve read all day.
also trans pride & power forever. fuck y’all haters, you’re headed for the trash can of history.
I assure you I’m not here to insult any group of people. Whatever part of that comment you found cheeky was accidental.
Anyone who uses ‘anarcho’ as a prefix to any word is is a fuckboi.
Fuckboi? That sounds fun…
‘ straight male identified folk’ – is that what we are called now? I prefer to simply be called a ‘man’. I don’t identify as one, I am one. Also, there is no need to identify me as a ‘straight’ man. Society should assume I’m straight unless I indicate otherwise.
Hing – not so much fun as it sounds. Unless your idea of foreplay is listening to someone talk excitedly about Hugo Chavez for 2 hours. >: (
Thanks for the larf, anarchostinker:
http://selfcertified.files.wordpress.com/2…
I was in a bookstore last week, looking for a birthday gift for a friend’s child, and the woman next to me was all in a huff because every single book she picked up was, in her words “gendered.” Not gender-sterotyped, mind you, just “gendered” — having some characters referred to as “boys” and other characters called “girls.”
Apparently not ONE book referred to any child or grown-up as a genderless “it” — and because of this she was morally outraged. (I was beginning to suspect that she had not much experience reading actual books before now, so surprised was she by this shocking state of affairs.)
Although, for some reason, she felt fine about , and was in fact adamant about — being a “she” — she just seemed to believe that she alone was privileged, and that everyone else, no matter their age, should be treated as some kind of non-female/non-male alien robot or something.
“Political Correctness” – the doctrine which states that since a baby cannot digest steak, nobody should be permitted to eat it.
Gender politics has jumped the shark.
35 years ago this was satire:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sFBOQzSk14…
Now it’s an orientation week lecture.
I only have one question, Ivan. Where’s bloody Michael O’Donoghue when you need him?
I was shopping for a gift for my little nephew’s birthday once and ran into a gender neutral type person. S/he was absolutely certain that my only option was to buy a gender neutral toy. I simply informed s/he that my nephew was not gender neutral and was, in fact, a little boy with a strong preference for toy cars and that the race car i had in my hand would be greatly appreciated.
As far as I am concerned, people can define and describe themselves however they want. However, when they start to try to impose their world view on others then they are guilty of the same intolerance that they claim to be fighting against.
I shall henceforth be referred to as BITCH, as in dog, since I don’t mind my gender but prefer a different species.
I am a woman with short hair, because it looks better on me and is practical. When I wear work clothes for working in the metals studio, I suppose I can be seen as a bit “boyish” or at least I did when I was younger. I don’t mind doing work that is hands-on, or work that is a bit technical or a bit dirty. I am also capable of tidying myself up and looking nice for respectable occasions.
These traits probably fall under the more traditionally “masculine” interests . . . but don’t for one minute think that I appreciate being called “gender neutral”–as if my membership in “Club Femme” is at risk of being revoked by those who feel they have the right to police those of us who don’t conform to the traditional stereotypes of what the different genders “should” be like.
Sheesh! It’s 2015. There are many “boy” things that us girls have been allowed to do for decades. Girls can have short hair. Boys can have long hair. Girls can do trades. Boys can be great cooks. We don’t “lose” or “change” our gender just because we venture outside of the traditional tasks. Liking “boyish” things doesn’t make me a boy. It certainly doesn’t make me less “feminine” or more “neutral.”
I don’t turn into a man when I put on jeans. A man doesn’t turn into a woman just by putting on a dress. Gender isn’t a costume. If, for some reason, we all suddenly had to wear identical mao suits, or burlap sacks, or animal pelts as clothing we would all still be gendered, even if our clothing didn’t advertise the distinctions.
Careers, decor, consumer products, furniture, toys, etc. can be “gender neutral” (meaning that they can be for anyone) but very, very, very few living human beings are “non-gendered.” By all means, reject the constraints of the traditional roles, but don’t think that doing so erases or changes the fact that there still is, in reality such a thing as gender.
ASIDE: Growing up, I was never discouraged from trying anything because of my (oh-so-unfortunate! I-must-have-a-birth-defect *sarcasm*) female gender. The 1970s was a great “progressive” decade.
It was only when I was exposed to “Gender Studies” in university in the 80s that I started to hear the unending litany of all the things that women were supposedly incapable of doing or were “alienated from”: math, science, medicine, sports, trades, business, money management, scholarship, the arts . . . This was a shock, as I could name girls my own age who were excelling in every one of these areas. Gender Studies class, however, would have a person believe that women were only capable of doing “SLOPPY science,” “FUZZY math,” “ALTERNATIVE medicine,” “NON-PROFIT business,” “SUBJECTIVE research” “WYMYN’s art and music”–everything half-assed or second-rate was the proper domain of us poor, oppressed fluffy-headed little women. Gender Studies was saying women couldn’t be engineers . . . while my friends over in the engineering department were doing just fine.
In all my years of academic study, I have yet to encounter a field more detached from day-to-day lived reality than “Gender Studies.”
@Babyshambles – he and Doug Kenney are probably enjoying the view from Hanapepe Lookout
Leave it Harold Ramis to quip that Kenney “probably fell while he was looking for a place to jump”.
Only then did ol’ Dougie finally shake Chevy Chase off his leg.
Check this out on the lost projects of Mr. O’D:
http://splitsider.com/2013/02/the-lost-projects-of-michael-odonoghue/
“I shall henceforth be referred to as BITCH” – Not a problem.
Rape denying misandristic bitch
I take off my trilby in your honour, Mr. Phurst.
hugo, you know me, i know molly, she is not misandristic, trust me
Well my question to paingirl got deleted.
Paingirl – Do you agree with Molly that those young school boys were not raped by their teachers? Do you also agree with Molly that those same teachers should only get counselling and probation for their crimes? If so, why?
for the record, I did not make any complaint or take issue with the question that was deleted. I have only made on complaint to a moderator in my time here and that was when someone here posted another member’s home address and real name.
Hmmm….I see.
Alrighty then.
sorry hugo, didn’t see your post. i agree with you but that is what people do, agree to disagree
Well pg, that makes 4, you me Ivan and Babyshambles(?), who believe that those children were raped.
Anybody else?
hugo, the votes mean nothing, some people don’t even us the like/dislike. chill out
and gdm is not a rape denier, you are confused
More posts deleted.
“Truth’s a dog that must to kennel. He must be whipped out, when Lady Brach may stand by th’ fire and stink.”
I want Maude back, we haven’t had a decent moderator since Cinco.