You will never read this but hey, it’s gotta be said. I like you and you like me, it seems a lot. I’ve been holding on to the hope that your feelings for me would trump your fear of being “out” someday. It’s been a long long time now and I can only conclude that whatever you feel for me is not worth whatever you’d have to face by coming out. So STOP flirting with me, leave me the fuck alone. I hate your fucking closeted guts. –Out Girl
This article appears in May 2-8, 2013.
jesus jumpin jehosephat on a jumped up pogo stick. people are STILL in the closet????
and they are under 80 years old???.
bang bang bang bang ow my head hurts.
women are going to break your heart sweetie. all your life. except for some of them.
Oh you young, stupid lesbos…
Do you hate her “closeted guts” or the fact that in 2013, people are still fearful (and rightfully so) to come out?
Will hating her change the fact she is afraid to come out? Does her flirting with you bother you so much that it has to change your feelings for her?
Isn’t she better off NOT having you as a fuck/partner/friend/whatever given your angst and hatred from those who are closeted?
Who made YOU the “Queen Who Pronounces All Must Be Out”?
Can’t you fuck/partner/be friends/whatever with someone who ISN’T out?
Isn’t this being a little internally-homophobic?
Shouldn’t you ask these questions (of and to yourself) before you judge her?
And yes, I’m out; way out for a very long time. In fact, I made it OK for YOU to be out (but not for you to mush that into the face of those who aren’t.
Go learn some gay history and try to gain a better understanding of the complexities of life and coming out, then you may stand on your little soap box and pout…
no, she is in torment.
and yeh, why shouldn’t she want to hold hands and nuzzle her cutie’s shoulder as they stroll along that harbour walk without said cutie flinching ‘in case someone sees’
booger that noise.
I’m not surprised you two dove all over this one.
OP, You be you and let her be her…
She has to live with her decisions.
^^ haha zzz why? it’s not about dogs. and for the record on another cliche, I like kfc and I am fish belly white.
well, your face is tanned
not really, those are freckles that melded together. got lots of them
I have two friends in this exact same situation and it’s painful to watch. One is a lesbian the other is bi, I guess. Her first time with a chick was/is with my friend. She really feels she needs a man to feel like she’s in a valid relationship for some reason. Even though they’ve been together for quite a while now, she won’t admit it to anyone. She doesn’t even know that I know. Lesbian relationships, I have learned, are really effin dramatic.
Well, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with not wanting to be with someone who’s not out of the closet — because ultimately, what this person is saying is any partner they have is only good enough to be with on the down low — that they have no more value than to be a secret fuck.
HOWEVER, I also don’t think it’s cool to demand someone comes out if they are uncomfortable doing so.
If OB has made her stance clear to this gal and has stated that she has standards, I say good for her — she has enough respect for herself to not let herself be treated in a way that is, quite frankly, disrespectful.
I think if the closeted gal flirting with OB and making moves and whatever is kind of shitty if OB has stated that she’s not into gals who aren’t open about their sexuality.
I know I wouldn’t want to be in a ‘secret’ relationship. If you don’t want to tell people you’re with me and make me hide it, I don’t want to be with you. I’ve got more self respect than that.
“I can only conclude that whatever you feel for me is not worth whatever you’d face by coming out”
Bravo!!!! How to make her feeling insignificant. Maybe this was an easy decision for you but, don’t trivialize one of the most difficult decisions she will ever make by putting it in the form of an ultimatum. That’s just mean, unfair, and she deserves better than someone like you.
What Harper said. She may have reasons to remain closeted, I think you need to be more patient.
Harper,You ARE a kind,sensitive soul after all.Your not fooling anyone with your ‘SHITD’ tough guy shtick.
Hey OB, you don’t know what the person is going through, so drop the ultimatum and worry about your own pathetic life.
‘K?
w the p
Ouch, OP. 🙁 Also, what pretty much everybody else said.
my money’s on this bitch being composed, and sent, at 4am after too much hard spirits. it sounds like a whiskey bitch. ergo ‘ I hate your fucking guts’. probably followed by 27 calls to the evil wench’s voice mail, saying nothing. and when this one wakes in the morning her first thought will be of the evil, flirting one, and a desperate desire to see her, hear her voice, be in her presence. this is pain, not hate. and it’s not impatience or intolerance either.
I think i know who this is directed at… and if i am wrong.. well it’s the same situation so I still feel qualified to say this.
OP.. it sucks. You’ve decided to pursue and hopefully snare a person who has probably just come to terms with her sexuality. Or, if not, someone who has JUST started to come to terms with the fact that she wants to do something about it. OR.. someone who is STILL coming to terms with all this.
It’s not really fair to you.. she’s not ready for a relationship. But it’s not fair to push her out either. Let her come out in her own time. Remove all expectations and attachments from her and either be with her without strings or don’t be with her at all.
She’s not ready to come out yet. But soon? She very well might be. Weigh the good and the bad op. She might be worth keeping, though it’s frustrating.
Coming out is hard. I’ve watched two family members and three friends go through it. I’m sure you know what it’s like and if you never had to deal with someone you love not supporting who you are, then you’re one of the rare lucky ones.
Good luck hon.. I know it’s hard. Tell her how much you care for her and talk it out. Make your feelings known and then decide what level of relationship you can both comfortably settle into and settle into that for now. It can always change later.
For now though? NEVER out someone or push them out of the closet too fast. The outcome is NEVER, EVER good. Offer to be there for her when she’s ready to come out. Offer to help her come out. Offer resources, time, love whatever.
But she’s gotta walk through the door in her own way and time.