Halifax, get it together, it’s time. I was going to be gentle but I’m going to put the whole city of halifax in a headlock until you give up, and tell me where all the single, intelligent, interesting, thoughtful, adventurous men are hiding in this city. —Curly

This article appears in Aug 9-15, 2012.

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  5. warm. very very warm. 40’s with that humidity.
    just scorching.
    I’ve had way too many highs and lows lately so I’m just trying to keep from exploding in diarrhesque rants.
    did get some good shopping in though…
    and I’m convinced we need a fucking Denny’s or IHOP here ASAP.

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  6. Dear Curly. – If I told you, I’d have to find a new spot.

    Just in case you don’t know, they aren’t regulars in bars.

    Look outdoors, or try volunteering, you’ll meet the nicest people there.

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  7. geeze, denny’s southern slam. drool. they may have taken it off the menu anywhere but the actual south, too many patrons dropping in the plate.

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  9. JESUS O.P., IF YOU ARE THAT HORNY, THEN YOU SHOULD CHECK OUT THE MOVIE BEING FILMED IN FAIRVIEW, JUST DOWN FROM ME. IF HAS CORY MONTEITH AS THE STAR, YOU KNOW WHO I MEAN, THE GUY FROM THAT GLEE T.V. SERIES.THEY WILL BE HERE FOR THE NEXT 3 OR 4 DAYS.
    YOU MIGHT GET A CHANCE TO FUCK HIM. ALREADY HAD MY BIT PART IN IT TODAY. IT’S CALLED,ALL THE WRONG REASONS. YOU CAN CHECK IT OUT ONLINE. THERE IS EVEN A CUTE CHICK FROM PAN AM SERIES IN IT TOO. SHE IS REALLY FRIENDLY, AND WE HAD LUNCH A FEW LAUGHS, AT MY PLACE.

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  14. BAHAHAHAHAHA @ ” WE HAD LUNCH A FEW LAUGHS, AT MY PLACE”. Did you take her for a ride on your imaginary Harley? Did you make the engine noises or did she? I almost had to wipe peanut butter toast off my laptop screen.

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  15. FUCK OFF ASSHOLE. AT LEAST I HAVE A LIFE OFF THE COMPUTER, UNLIKE YOU. THERE WERE ACTUALLY 7 PEOPLE HERE.

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  16. LS/Gary/BLOW ME- I’m really impressed with how much your spelling and grammar has improved. The caps have got to go though.

    I’m going to watch that movie when it comes out and try and guess which one is you!!

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  17. Just look for the sad old fuck with a yellow beard, no teeth and a look of desperation in his eyes.

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  19. fuck off too kitty piglet. at least i don’t whine on here about all my fucking ailments. p.f., i will be the one walking up the hill, with the little girl in a pink dress. as to the caps, i love pissing assholes off. and there are a few here. they think their shit don’t stink.

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  20. Ivan’s Zen Moment of the Week:

    I was doing my sunday trip to Chapdurz this morning and happened to notice this amazingly provocative title in the kiddie’s section:
    http://www.amazon.com/Gold-Star-Zog-Julia-…

    Now, to a certain segment of conspiracy theorists , ZOG stands for Zionist Occupation Government. And, as for the historical significance of the gold star, well suffice to say I was gobsmacked. How long until Heather pulls it from her shelves?

    *No MM , I didn’t purchase it for my leftie nephews, opting instead for John Cornwall’s “Hitler’s Scientists:Science, War & the Devil’s Pact”*

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  21. *Cornwell* – Sorry. And it’s for me. The leftie nephews can shoplift their own reading material. >; )

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  22. hahaha, i wouldn’t have thought of that but i’m and adult now^^was the book any good?

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  23. It was lonely and neglected. All the kids were reading 50 Shades out loud and giggling hysterically.

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  24. All the good, interesting, thoughtful men are out enjoying their hobbies with like minded people, not hanging around in bars waiting to be rejected by a bunch of stuck up bitches looking for free drinks.

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  26. Me , when I joined them doing my Gilbert Gottfried impression. I now also possess restraining orders from 8 different families >: (

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  27. Watching the Olympic Closing ceremonies and jotting down some extemporaneous thoughts:

    It’s a shame Britain’s hopes for Gold in the Projectile Vomit Pentathalon were buried with Amy Winehouse.

    Nearly puked up my asshole ring when they played “Imagine” They should have gone with “Anarchy in the U.K.”. It , at least, has the guts to admit that it’s a dystopian tune and is a fuck of a lot more likely to come to pass.

    George Michael’s “Freedom” was similarly mawkish, unless he means the freedom to jerk off strangers in a public shitter.

    Shouldn’t the Freddie Mercury seance have taken place in a gloomy Gothic mansion on the storm wracked coast of Cornwall?

    The tribute to “The Walking Dead”, sorry, I mean the Spice Girls had me fervently hoping that the Provos had kept at least 5 car bombs in reserve after the Good Friday accords.

    When Ray Davies was singing “Waterloo Sunset”, why was Gary Busey waving the Union Jack from the top of a cardboard Big Ben?

    Russell Brand as Willy Wobbler was horrifying. His rendition of “I Am The Walrus” triggered acid flashbacks of the Spahn Ranch, circa 1969.

    I don’t know who the fuck Jessie J. is but I have the same whore suit except mine is made from real girls.

    It was nice of the Muslim Council of Great Britain to not set off their dirty bomb but I suspect they wanted to see the Gallagher Brothers kick the living shit out of each other on stage, just as much as we did. Inshallah, it’s the things which unite us that count the most.

    Was Eric Idle being doused with curry powder or weaponized anthrax.

    Hay, Fatboy Slim – unless Christopher Walken , or at the very least Spike Jonze, is dancing for you, stay home in Mum’s basement, Okay?

    I had a tenner bet on the likelyhood that Boris Johnson and the mayor of Rio would do a Basil Fawlty/Manuel routine when they handed over the flag. Wankers.

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  28. but, but, manuel is from barcelona!

    annie was delish, as usual. i only ran in for that, watching old B&W brit movies on Netflix as my rah rah for jolly old.

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  29. WHY THE FUCK DOES MY CAT GO INTO MY MANCAVE, OR AS I CALL IT OP-CENTER ALPHA, TO PUKE.

    FML >: (

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  30. species survival skill…..cat hork is a highly valued offering to the gods, esp if the god steps in it while not wearing foot gear, to get the most intimate contact with the offering. god stamps about wildly, gesturing and shouting blessings, thus scaring the wee mousies from their hidey holes, which of course brings them into waiting feline arms. and fangs

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  31. Hmmmmmm – I never considered the divine ambergris theory. I prefer to think of her as a terrorist:
    1) She buries her shit in sand
    2) She refuses to eat pork
    3) She dropped out of flight school right before they were going to cover landings.

    OMG! – Gotta call C.S.I.S. but first I have to “waterboard” my feet. I’m one of those who likes to pad around the apartment barefoot.

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  32. The man band that sang the Olympic song — Take That? Well the lead singer’s baby was stillborn last week 🙁

    They named her Poppy.

    :*(

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  33. Hay Kitteh – I noticed that your lads from 1-D were there. Hope they didn’t have to share a dressing room with the Pet Shop Boys or those virginity rings are going to be just for show, now.

    *Disclaimer – I don’t really know if One Direction wear purity rings, I was just being Sebastaphobic. >; )

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  37. I MISSSSSSSSSSSSSSED IT, IVAN!

    I just watched it online, so I’m ok. BUT, wtf? NO COLDPLAY?

    Fucking limey bastards!

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  39. no coldplay you say?
    I may end up watching it after all….

    just me or was it a very forgettable olympics?
    may just have been I was too busy to take in most of the events…
    but I’m sorry, trampoline just isn’t worth my time.

    and in closing…
    the grand slamwhich is my new favorite sandwich of all time.

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  40. Let me warn you now, zZz: George Michael, Pet Shop Boys, Fatboy Slim, Spice Girls, Jessie J., Beady Eye-(Oasis minus Noel Gallagher), 1 Direction, etc, etc, ad nauseum.

    The only true highlights, IMO, were when Brian May from Queen played this absolutely brilliant blistering guitar solo, (and then quickly had it ruined when Jessie J. joined in to sing (read wail) “Rock You”), Eric Idle said “shit” on a live international broadcast, (I know, not that exciting), and The Who, (well, Daltry, Townsend and friends), played the closing medley.
    Other than that, the rest was just a snorefest.

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  41. duly noted.
    I thought about as much.
    I think I’ll skip it and just go into the storage wars marathon…

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