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Long winter, icy school yard, flu and coughs and stomach virus… As if times weren’t hard enough, some dick-0-rama has to stick dog shit in my kid’s snow fort. AGAIN! WTF! I’m certain this had a “tee hee hee” effect for you, douche. For my kids, it was sad. Go find another outlet for your boredom and have some dignity. Your stupid choices actually hurt little hearts and make our neighborhood a little meaner. —Still a Sad Dad
This article appears in Mar 5-11, 2015.
Nukka rarely revisits the same theme twice. He must be finding this winter a long, soul destroying grind like the rest of us.
In the off chance that this is legit:
http://www.theonion.com/articles/astronomer-discovers-center-of-universe,559/
From the number of bitches about dogs deficating on snow forts, I must conclude that like germans and David Hasslehoff… dogs REALLY like snowforts. I’m waiting for the bitch at the owner about letting their dog hump the snow fort that their kid worked all day on.
DOG SHIT AS A PROTEST MARKER
My guess is that the dog shit stuck on the fort was a protest marker against the inculcation of so-called “military virtues” in today’s youth. It constitutes a compelling visual sign indicating a deep revulsion.
As a matter of fact I have used the tactic myself. For some time now – about two months – a derelict van pulling a trailer with a small derelict red car has been parked on a main street in my town, a street I regularly use to walk the whippets before carrying on down to the shore of Lac Saint Louis. The van and trailer are moved to the other side of the street when the snow plow comes along. Then they move back. They have degraded the surrounding neighborhood. I decided to degrade them by dumping a small bag of whippet shit on the hood of the van as I passed by.
Shortly afterwards the van and trailer disappeared. My hopes rose. However, just the other day they returned to take up their regular position. I am now in the process of planning a second strike. But one must be careful not to be seen.
A pleasure as always,
Cheerio!
Who knows? Maybe the owner is a dick who does not have their dog on a leash and it’s the dog itself who is choosing this inviting place for a tinkle and a dump. Any way you say it, the owner of the animal is a douche bag for allowing the dog to relieve itself in your kids fort and not picking up his dog’s shit. Another irresponsible dog owner. Seems to be no shortage of late. Hold on folks, we’re in for a bumpy ride.
Yours truly.
^^^ mm said, “walk the whippets ”
Whippets? Whip it real good!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IIEVqFB4WUo
Isn’t this the THIRD bitch we’ve had on the issue of dogs, their bodily functions, and forts?
Have we exhausted this topic yet, or is there still more to discuss?
We could talk about the use of the figure “The Burger Fairy” http://burgerweek.co/grand-prize/
“Walk the whippets” is his euphemism for the Sin of Onan.
“Derelict van” is probably Lachine patois for middle school.
“The Burger Fairy”?
Not quite as offensive as the Conservative chucklehead who insulted some 26 million Canadians by referring to us as “whitey”.
Not nearly as inappropriate as Trudeau and Blaney’s dueling Holocaust references.
About as stupid as Shelburne District School Board’s decision to ban Junkyard Dog action figures
http://i.huffpost.com/gen/1421289/thumbs/o-DOG-570.jpg?1
And it’s only hump day.
Laissez les bon temps roullez.
ibimb
RSVPS
Egghead (03/11, 4:16PM) & Chuck Yeager (5:35PM)
The whippets refer to Lily and Wynnie, two elegant hounds. For some of mediocre intellectual attainment the name has unfortunate connotations of self-abuse but my thinking on this matter is that they are merely attempting to deflect public attention from their own shocking behaviour.
Yes, “derelict van” might well be taken as Lachine patois for “middle school” although I didn’t notice any students inside at the time I degraded their environment. Perhaps I should have looked inside more closely.
A pleasure as always,
Cheerio!