Your girlfriend is a friend of mine. I haven’t seen her in a long time. When I do see her, she seems drained, depressed, worried, stressed out and angry. She doesn’t say a word to me about you. She’s PROTECTING you (instead of herself). All she’s ever said is that you’re always telling her she must be cheating on you, or lying to you or keeping things from you. You’re fucked for constantly trying to throw shit in her face that she isn’t doing. She can’t prove you wrong even though you are. I know you yell at her. I know you swear at her. You probably hit her too or push her around. Let me make sure you get this straight. I have nothing against you. You seem like a really nice guy. You do have issues though. I am not sure what they are, but they’re really embedded into your head and it’s probably really hard for you to learn to get over them or cope with them. What I do want to tell you is that your girlfriend loves you a lot. I’ve never seen her so attached and forgiving to anyone in her life. She’s her own person though and you need to see that. She’s afraid of you. So, stop holding my friend back. Treat her like the sweet, intelligent girl she is and open your fucking eyes. You have an incredible girl standing beside you so get your shit together and realize that you’re an abusive fuck who will probably kill her one day (she probably knows it). She deserves to be happy and you better start giving it to her. —Fed Up Friend
This article appears in Apr 7-13, 2011.
I’m afraid your friend will have to get knocked out of the park with a metaphoric 2 x 4 (with a 3 inch nail sticking out of one end) before she clues in on how she’s being treated. Anyone with self-esteem would have kicked his carcass to the curb long ago – that she is making excuses for this moron only demonstrates her insecurity.
Expecting a leopard to change its spots is usually futile. The better choice is to change boyfriends. This is NOT love. This IS abuse. Love does not include being afraid of the one you are with. Your friend should DTMFA ASAP! They are going to break up anyway. Why waste another moment on something that is clearly going nowhere! The #1 rule in a good relationship is RESPECT. The moment respect is broken is the sign that it is time to say goodbye. Besides, it is hard to meet the right guy when you are saddled with Mr Wrong.
What TFN & Oc said. He’s not going to change, and his accusations are probably a cover for him fucking around, you know, avoid suspicion by going on the attack.
FUF, just be there for your friend, when the shit hits the fan.
Are you even serious? How about helping her out of this blatantly abusive hell hole she has dug herself into?
um excuse me, he doesn’t sound “nice” at all…
this sounds like an Oprah Winfrey episode…except it’s the “before” he does something absolutely horrific and irreversible to this girl, episode. im predicting a bleak future for these two :/
Exactly what I was going to suggest javagirl. The approach taken to do this must be undertaken with care. Better to discuss what constitutes an abusive relationship, or provide reading material on the subject of abusive relationships rather than bring up instances of the guy’s behaviour which can result in her becoming defensive about his actions and wanting to work even harder to prove everyone wrong about him, prolonging the inevitable, or worse, committing oneself to lifelong misery. Being properly armed with eye-opening information can empower her to come to the right decision (DTMFA) on her own.
The sad part is that the longer someone chooses to stay in an abusive situation the more damage they are allowing to occur to themselves. Never allow this to happen to your self, run, don’t walk! True love is about uplifting not downputting each other.
sorry…’committing oneself” should actually be ‘committing HER’ (damn this flu-addled brain!)
o.p., she is suffering from a condition known as,”whipped dog syndrome”. no matter what you try to do to help, she will say everything is cool. i have seen it to many times, and have taken action against offending parties, just as many.
but she has to make her own decisions in life. if this is what she wants, then you or i or anyne, can change her mind. all you can really do, is be there, to pick up surving pieces, when the worst happens. and trust me, it soon will.
And yet she accepts all that bullshit. If she isn’t woman enough to pack up and move up, let her live with it. Obviously she enjoys the abuse.
seb buddy,, some women actually fear for their lives, or threats to kids, if they have any. a friend was in the last situation, til i made her ex, see that leaving her the fuck alone, would lenghten his miserable fucking life a lot. and a .44 magnum stuck up his nose, didn’t hurt either.
I think someone has a crush on their friend.
Get her drunk and make out all ready!