Good for you, you pay child support. This must make you a wonderful father. 10 years later and we are still dancing to the same song…
First of all, you are obligated to pay child support. It is seriously the LEAST you could do. But you know what? I would gladly give it back and PAY YOU if you just spent time with our child.
Do you know how many times our child has asked what is wrong with him? Why doesn’t Daddy love me and want to spend time with me? DO you know how many times our child has cried in my arms, so confused and so hurt and so determined to be a “better child” so that you will pay attention to him? Of course you don’t. You aren’t around him long enough for him to open up to you.
You seriously have no idea how amazing he is. No clue. He is so funny and loving and kind and intelligent. And you take it for granted. You are so delusional to think that you have all the time in the world to cultivate a relationship with him. Time is running out.
He is getting older. He is starting to see through all of the lies and excuses I have told him. He is starting to see you for exactly what you are. A poor excuse of a man and father.
And while I am at it, you can continue to manipulate peoples’ perception of me because that is the only thing you really pay attention to. You can call me names.. I am such a slut and a whore. I’m a gold digger. LOL. Those names would make more sense if I wasn’t cleaning up vomit on a Saturday night or sitting with my son on a cold winter night wrapped in a blanket getting relief from his Croup while you fuck anything you can stick your tiny little dick into and slam beers like your 21 and not 35.
You can continue down this path of blame laying for as long as you like… I will still be mum. I will still be the one who he cries for and asks for and idolizes. Why? Because I love him. Not just every couple months… Every Single Day.
So to all of you dead beat dads… either SHAPE UP or FUCK OFF. —His Mum
This article appears in Jul 22-28, 2010.
You lady are the one that ultimitely decided to have this child. Did he have a choice? Did you ask him if he wanted to parent a child for the rest of his life? I’m sure you will come back with the “well he had sex with me, he knew the consequences”. And now he has to pay for a choice YOU made for the rest of his life??? And it was your choice, you had three options, to have the baby, adoption or abortion….how many did he have? I’m a woman, in case you are wondering, and if I was ever dumb enough to get knocked up by a guy I knew wasn’t going to stick around to co-parent MY child then I would’ve headed to the first clinic and had it taken care of. I also have some single girlfriends that decided to have a child and not name the father on the birth certificate. They raise their child on their own with no financial help from the “Dad”. They knew that having the baby was their choice to make, just like it was yours.
>:|
I hope that this is the only place you vent and not to your child … ever.
And what about all the bitches out there that use the kids as banks and pawns? There are a lot of guys out there who pay up the ying yang and the bitch won’t let them see the kids or make life miserable for them. Not all men are bastards and not all women are bitches. It goes both ways. And most important leave your kids out of it.
She said in the bitch that she lies to her child as to where daddy is and why he doesn’t come around. When you bad mouth a child’s parent to that child….they take it personally, a kid knows that they are made up of their parents and it breaks their hearts to hear those things. Why not give this woman the benefit of the doubt and realize maybe she`s just bitching here to get it out of her system, because 99% of the time she has to keep a strong face for the person who matters the most.
FUWBS – You have issues with women in general – or you wouldn`t jump all over this woman. She said she would trade all the child support for him to act like a real dad and show up and show some love. Maybe you are right about a lot of woman out there who are gold diggers, and full of baby mamma drama – but if we keep thinking the worst of each other – then were going to raise a generation of little haters.
I agree with REAL CHICK. Also, many people change from honeymooners to total strangers in a matter of seconds upon finding out that there is a baby on the way they didn’t plan on having. Many couples also break up after they have the child, realizing their differences in values when it comes to raising a child.
The man in this case sounds like an immature asshole, with the body of a 35 year old and the maturity of a 12 year old.
Way to go ‘dad’. Grow up, for fuck sakes, and be a start acting like a man.
Maybe you have an ugly kid, OP.
yeah, i agree, and some new dads are worse than fucking stupid. case in point, see my avatar, new grandson, new dad doesn’t listen when you give him a tad of advice, from a stockpile of over 40 years, then the grandmother says don’t do this or that, and do such and such, numb nuts calls a friend, who has only had a kid for a couple of years. don’t you wish they would take murder off the table sometimes.and by the way, that is my 3 day grandson, holding his own little bottle, in his other nannie’s arms.
I knew a guy who was with a woman who told him she was on birth control. All was fine and dandy in their relationship until she decided to go off birth control WITHOUT TELLING HIM. She had a kid that he didn’t want and now he’s left paying child support for the next 18 years. I tell ya, he is one bitter dude. She does nothing but constantly talk shit about him to the kid, too.
Women have all the control in these things and oftentimes use the child to manipulate men. When it comes to paying for the kid, it’s “OUR child!” When it comes to seeing the kid or making decisions regarding it, it’s “MY (her) child!” You can’t have it both ways.
And wear a condom? Why should we have to go through that nonsense when you tell us you’re on the pill and we’re supposedly in a monogamous relationship? They’re so fucking tight and break a lot anyway. Besides, who doesn’t like the sex way better without it… really!
Waiting for some feminist to tear me apart now…
This, young men, is why you do not want to be a slave, or a former slave, or a liberated slave…
Wow, the layers of fuckedupness go miles deep.
This is why only the stupid reproduce in western culture now.
The amusing part is that no doubt she picked this winner – probably breaking some perfectly nice guy’s heart.
Whoohooo! Let’s turn the earth into a burning pit of hell! Such fun! Follow the ladies boys!
I didn’t realize my bitch would cause such a vast amount of opinions. Duly noted FUWBS, there are many options a woman has when it comes to bringing life into the world and sadly men do not have the same choices. However, we were married and our son was planned. It was only halfway through the pregnancy that he decided he would rather live a bachelor life. Does this mean that I should have put my son up for adoption? Absolutely not. You shouldn’t make assumptions. You make an ass of yourself. Like I said already, I spend more time making up excuses for his father than anyone should. I don’t bad mouth my ex and never would. I understand my responsibility as a parent. I understand the damage some people have done to their children. That is not my goal. Ultimately at the end of the day I would rather my son had 2 parents who send equal amount of time with him. That’s all.
Child support is awesome! Imagine, paying someone else to raise your children. What a deal! 🙂
Just for the opposite side of the story, I’ve seen women who have kept the child away from the father, have told lies about how the father doesn’t love them and won’t let the father contact the child. It’s a damn shame. OP I hope your kid’s dad wakes up and sees how lucky he is.
There are Dads having a similar problem but from the other side of the fence.
I pay almost $500 a month support for my child, and though it almost bankrupts me, I do it to give my child the best start I can (of course it is the law too) – even though it is totally up to my childs’ mother to determine how that money is spent, on my son or her other kid she now has with a real deadbeat… who can’t even keep a job and he is insane requiring various medications to keep him from going off the deep-end or back on the rock..
I get to see my son two days a week, and I won’t get any more time with him because his mother won’t let me… and now I have to go to court to try and get more time with him as that is my only option.
The system pays for my ex’s lawyer – well we all pay for legal aid out of our tax dollars. I, since I have a job, have to pay a lawyer $280 an hour instead for the same pleasure – on top of child support and daycare, and whatever else I need to provide for my child for the time I do get to be with him.
I WANT to spend more time with MY child, I realize I only have so much time, now he is almost 10 and it does feel like time is running out.
Regardless, my son knows I was there for him everyday until his mother decided to break up with me, scooped my son up after school one day and took right over from that point on.
My access to my son is now determined by her and how generous she feels towards me – until the courts rule otherwise. The courts don’t seem to have problems with manipulation and child abduction as long as it is the mother who is doing it.
There are Dads out there, like me, who want nothing more to be a good role model for their kid, to spend as much time as possible with their kid(s), to be a parent in their life not just a weekend Dad
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And then there are Moms out there who will do anything they can to obstruct that because THEY want to be the number one, they don’t want competition when it comes to responsibility with their child, their ego is their primary concern… And then they can complain to anyone who will listen how their kids “deadbeat dad” is never there…
I love him more than anything in the world… I see how smart he is… It breaks my heart when he tells me he misses me and wants to spend more time with me. I don’t bad mouth his mother, in front of him anyway, and so I can’t tell him what the real problem is. It sucks!
It is a two way street and Family court is a horrible (and always will be) substitute for maturity from parents and keeping a child’s best interests in mind.
His Mum….don’t kid yourself….you are also “His DAD” and believe that he knows that…you are the one who is there and in the end that’s all anyone really remembers….The ONE person who was always there for them!
Your bitch brought tears to my eyes, and then I open up the comments and you have fucktards like FUWBS who think that their 2 cents mean anything to someone like yourself, a single mom who is connected and in touch with her child…well, I commend you for being a REAL parent in a time when it seems as though there are so many out there who don’t give a fuck!
Keep doin what you’re doin OP, your son appreciates it!
dartmouthy, you are one of many.
History will look back on this as a very dark time for humanity. So much hate, so much slavery.
Equality of the sexes is a ridiculous idea. One sex has the power to select the next generation – the other does not. I’m sorry, but it does not get any more powerful than that.
Yet somehow, we have to be slaves too?
My grandfather, great grandfather and his father never kept slaves, never abused women… why I am I being punished? Even if they had, I should not be punished.
Fuck you righteous bitches, your puny minds and misplaced power are destroying this world.
Dartmouthy, that is truly heartbreaking. You sound like a wonderful father and it truly is a shame that your childs mother takes that for granted. Rest assured that in the end, your son will eventually figure things out on his own and if you just keep being the amazing father that you are, it will work out in the end. Although the court system is expensive, the mediation is free. Have you considered going to a mediator? Not only will they help you gain more access to your child, they will see how unreasonable your ex is being and that will work in your favor if things ever end up in court. I really hope things do work out for you in the end.
Nice Goin Fat: Seriously? What kind of lame brained asshole would make a comment such as yours? I hope that you aren’t a parent. You would suck as bad at that as you do at being human.
FUWBS: I thought a lot about the comment you made and have decided you are probably just a catty bitch who has a situation that struck a chord with you. Let me guess, your husband has a child with someone else and hardly sees them? Your comment made you out to be an idiot. I hope that isn’t the case.
Thank you to everyone who had kind things to say. My bitch was me at a moment of anger just trying to find release somewhere that wouldn’t affect my son. Maybe the whole “Bad Dads” rant hurt some peoples feelings, please know that I am aware that the problem with bad parents isn’t just a dad thing. I have seen plenty of rotten moms out there as well.
Thank you Mum… I keep the faith 🙂 I have tried Mediation and I started out asking for 50% time and she widdled me down to an extra day out of every two weeks – needless to say that wasn’t enough for me, so, so much for mediation. Next step is meeting with a trial judge not affiliated with our case, so we will see how that goes.
I don’t think women are the problem, I think certain people’s personalities are the problem, lol… I don’t hate women, blame women for my situation – I don’t think it has anything to do with womens rights or anything… its just the reality that a woman gestates a child inside of her, and though it takes a father, that does not mean there IS a father, if you catch my drift. I’m sure there are many many Dads out there who couldn’t care less what happens to their kids – I just wish all Dads weren’t painted with the same brush.
I wish you luck too, it sounds like your child (Mum) has one supportive parent and that is a lot better than some kids have out there…
That is the only thing that keeps me sane, speaking from personal experience – there is always someone out there with more of a horror story to tell, someone always has it worse. Keeps thing in perspective 🙂