…to the drivers of Halifax. I’m sorry for making you stop at crosswalks. I’m sorry for walking in front of your car. I’m sorry for being so slow. I’m sorry for holding you up, and making you honk your horn and rev your engine. I’m really sorry for walking on the sidewalk when you’re trying to get out of a parking lot.
There’s no excuse for it, I know. I’m sure you wouldn’t get so mad if I would just walk a little faster. But in my defense, I’m recovering from a broken pelvis, and I’m not quite up to my normal walking speed yet. You’d never know it to look at me. I’m young, slim, healthy, and fit, to all appearances. Maybe I should wear a sign, or an armband or something. Did the Nazis have a symbol for “gimp”?
Or, maybe you impatient, self absorbed shitheads could consider the possibility that some people don’t walk as fast as you think they should, because they CAN’T. —Slow Moe
This article appears in Sep 23-29, 2010.
I’d be tempted to make eye contact with each and every one of those impatient, self-absorbed assberries and add a big shit-kicking smile as I crossed, never breaking eye contact and with my handy cell phone camera at the ready.
As a driver myself, I hate those impatient jerks as much as you do, OP. Just so you know. 🙂 /hug
are you deranged o.p., fuck the drivers that want to drive on the sidewalk. if the street is too small, then maybe they should get a smaller car.
Oh whoa whoa whoa (in a completely unrelated matter) prostitution legalized in Ontario. LS?
Heeeeeeehehehe
How’d you break your pelvis? All that whoring? Shame.
yeah, i read that in the horrid today. looks like i might be going away for awhile. hope they are ready for me, see avatar.
Oh my various Gods LS!
*shaking my head*
LS, that thing must be heavy to lug around? How do you masturbate?
… prob. a drain pipe or something.
Good night folks.
Suckulous, do you wear that thing as a bowtie? Leash and muzzle it and take it for a walk? Slap a touque on it and introduce him to the chicks at the bar as your best friend?
glad you folks like the pic, it will be gone later on. next.
Damn, I missed suckulicious’s av last night. Ah well…
I did too, Ralmn. From the comments I think it may have been the pic of the guy with his wedding tackle slung over his shoulder. The suckster has used it once before.
Well… that sounds…. interesting… sounds like you might be right, Ivan. Huh. Too bad I missed it, but maybe he’d pull it out again if I asked nicely. *snort.
i remember that one prisoner ivan, it was hard to forget^^
Seared into the gray matter like a cattle brand Painey.
And Ralmny, I don’t think you need have any worries about whether or not Suckulous will “pull it out’ upon request. *Hee-Haw*
I’m a super fast walker, like NYC midtown getting out of the subway fast, and I still get impatient fucks around here shooing me with their hands across intersections, slowly crawling towards me with their car in an effort to move me along… It’s annoying. If anything in this world is gonna make me walk slower, that is it. And I make sure to stare right into their beady little eyes while doing so. Don’t worry, my brick throwing arm is ready, if need be.
Get one of those crossing guard signs that says “GIMP” and have HRM post a “GIMP Xing” sign. That would get a laugh from the drivers.
Here’s my personal favorite – this one never fails to make drivers totally insane: If they honk or give you a dirty look, feign a leg cramp. Just stand there in front of their car, making funny faces and trying to rub the cramp out of your calf.
Hey – never said i wasn’t a bitch!!
That sucks OP but there are predestrian jerks (mostly little brats) will walk normal speed and then when they notice they’re in your way, they look at you and smile while they slow down. But you obviously weren’t doing that so these drivers are assholes. I hate the ones that speed around and cut in front of people just so they can sit at a red light or stop sign sooner. If you’re late, speeding might get you there 30 seconds quicker so I wouldn’t bother risking lives for that!
I’m starting to like the cut of your jib, Javagirl. Definitely gonna use that one. >; )
LOL Javagirl! Must try that one!
@Melectric, speeding to the next red light 🙂
like this javagirl?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Yb_pGo1OWY…