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I am a beautiful, hilarious, and fit young woman whose dating “highlight” of the week so far includes receiving a message on match.com from a member whose username included the words Long Ballz in it. —Its not funny anymore

This article appears in Oct 1-7, 2015.

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14 Comments

  1. What was his full username? You left us hanging…

    Now, as someone who has played with a lot of balls in his life, I would never describe any of them as long; right now, there is a picture in my head that is quite puzzling. Long eh? Long?!

    I’m not certain that Long Ballz is looking for a beautiful, hilarious, and fit young woman but rather one who likes long balls. So, just like the 45 year old, he’s not what you’re looking for; swipe/next/pass – whatever you do and move on.

    Oh, and try to find your sense of humour – it will go a long way in finding your short-balled man.

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  10. A man walks into a psychiatrist’s office wearing only underwear made of Saran Wrap.
    The psychiatrist says, “Well…I can clearly see your nuts.”

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  13. I’m so glad I love my critters. People are pretty messed up on dating sites. I’d rather give my kitties a flea dip than try that scene. Aside from the fact, I much prefer my own company. Except for the weekly seances over at the neighbour’s. This week, we’re summoning the spirit of Robert Newton.

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