Don’t ask for honesty if you don’t want honesty. “Give me your honest opinion” does not translate to “tell me exactly what I want to hear” except maybe when you’re translating from English to Douchebag.
People go on and on about how they want the truth. But they do not. Perhaps it’s a narcissism thing. Perhaps people honestly believe they are 12 times the size of god and have serious delusions that one’s honest opinion about them or their shit will always be aggrandizing and fabulous. That if someone’s honest opinion is negative, the only thing that could mean is that that person must be the biggest asshole on the planet. Instead of one of the honest few who will tell you your breath stinks when it does.
Instead of punishing these people, you should value them. They’re the only ones who will tell you what others laugh at behind your back. And believe me. They DO laugh behind your back. But you like them better because they have the connivance of character to lie to your face.
The worst thing about this is that the average person reading this will go “yeah.. YEAH! Fuck yeah!!” but at the end of the day, will get just as offended when a well-meaning and merciful friend tries to tell them that gladiator shoes give them cankles or that they are completely tone deaf and can’t carry a tune. Or that they are behaving in an annoying fashion.
Don’t blame someone who wants to see you do better. Blame yourself for sucking. Do something about it and get on with your life. Thank them for having the courage and dignity to gently tell you instead of getting angry because you’re not the rockstar you thought you were.
Or, you know, don’t. And continue on blaming the doctor for the booster because the needle hurt. —Socrates
This article appears in Dec 15-21, 2011.
If it’s one thing I can say about myself is that I’m honest to a fault. I 100% agree with you OB, well said!!!
I also concur. And if you want people to be honest with you, you gotta be honest with them. Sometimes you’re enabling people’s bad habits if you’re not honest with them.
It’s not your dress that makes your ass look fat, it’s your fat ass that makes your ass look fat. Just an observaton…
warranted if they ask…
though it’s just flat out rude to blather your opinions all over the place when no-one wants to hear you speak… let alone even bother to want to know what you’re saying.
and this bitch, makes you sound fucking stupid and ignorant.
I agree with Zed.
If someone asks you a question, answer it honestly. Until they ASK, stfu. I know my ass is fat — you don’t need to tell me this.
Whoa! holdephone!
Yes, there’s honesty, which is a virtue, but wrapping the honest truth with a nicer spin is a bigger virtue, IMO.
“Well, I’m just being honest” is usually said in a kind of sanctimonious way, like it was *holy* or something. (Kind of like when people wrap themselves in the flag, like it gives them permission to say anything)
Before you go hurting yourself patting yourself on the back for being so freakin’ noble, try one of these alternate lines:
at the store: You know, I really preferred the other dress. I think its colour works better for you. That dress is a little tight at the back, I think you want a little more ‘ease’ in the fit. You know, you don’t have to say “that bathing suit makes you look like a dancing hippo from Fantasia” even if it’s true. How about ‘let’s try a straighter skirt to see how that looks.’
Now, if someone asks you straight out “does my breath stink?” go ahead and offer a mint. But there’s always a way to be honest in a nice way. (If you want to be nice, that is. If you want to be a bitch, that’s totally different.)
All this talk about Godzilla and other saurian reminds me working in a 5 star resort in Florida back in the day. On the menu was alligator, which is just nasty meat (you have to pound the shit out of with a mallet to make it edible). When customers asked if the alligator was good, we’d say ‘well, the SAUCE is delicious!’
so don’t be blunt… smoke em.
OMG OP there once was a lady in the Winners dressing room trying on a floor length velor leopard print dress with a strappy back. It was AWFUL. She asked her friend does it look good to which her friend replied oh yes it does! soo gooood! …. … … .. .. .. .. . .NO it didn’t. I shook my head in the mirror saying no. Thank heavens she saw me … how can a friend make another look ugly. Looked like she was gonna chase gazelle in the Serengeti.
Shameful.
“Looked like she was gonna chase gazelle in the Serengeti. “
lol
What was it Andy Capp say to Flo…”Well, lass, it doesn’t do much for you, but you don’t do much for it, either!”
I am glad Donk you nodded the truth to that girl in the dressing room. I would want the truth as well.
What I think is terrible is those poor souls that go on American Idol and are totally tone challenged & sound so terrible and their family members are outside the audition room waiting to hear good news. Come on family’s you must have known the person sounds terrible at least collectively between the whole family. Love isn’t that blind is it? I realize some people just carry on thinking they can sing no matter how much people tell them they can’t but come on family’s. Lock them in a room until the American Idol circus leaves town.
Or on Family Feud –
Host: “Name a country starting with A”
Family member: “Africa”
Other family members: *Good answer!!!!!!*
Me: *side eye*
http://assets0.ordienetworks.com/tmbs/f3ce… Yeah, you hang your head in shame.
American idol is full of funnies though. Bless the tone deaf pplz. Bless them. They’re so fragile.
A gift from me to you Robyn http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zgxAPIfaSzc
Looooooooooooooooooooool
That was funny one.. Donk. I think she really thought she was good. They say people hear themselves much differently than what we hear. I hope that is true and that way they can just go through life thinking everyone else is full of shit and not realize the level of embarrassment they should be feeling.
OB, “IT’S A TRAP”. Now that the Star Wars reference is done with I find the same thing with restaurants, barbers, etc. They ask how it is and if you answer with an honest answer which happens to be negative, they get nasty.
BBC already ruled on the Porkers
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-16275027
Being brutally honest can be a hazardous occupation without a little tact. You can be honest without being hurtful. As well, don’t offer honest opinions as PK and zZz mentioned if they’re not solicited. However, that said, unless you’re dealing with a child, downright lying to save somebody’s feelings is no good as well. I agree with Robyn, somebody should’ve had an intervention for some of those tone deaf American idol auditioners.
Honesty takes a great deal of courage. Because most people will retaliate.
BUT.. the good thing is that most people who retaliate against honesty are not honest themselves. They are cowards who see, hear and speak no evil… at least that you’re privy to. So they retaliate in the safest and most anonymous way possible and have no impact whatsoever.
Petty K, just because you may think your “ass is fat’ ….others (Life Sucks comes to mind) think you have a nice bum.
So who does the person (like myself) who only has these 2 different opinions, believe ?
Further more, I believe when it comes to an individual’s perspective, the phrase “beauty is in the eye of the beholder” trumps someone else’s opinion. EVEN if that opinion comes from the owner of said ass ~;)
it may just be me…
but I don’t put all my eggs in someone else’s basket.
at least, MORE, I know I’m not lying to myself….
or even if I am, I KNOW it.
others…. not so much.
that’s why when I hear things like ‘cute’ and ‘hot’ I basically designate them to the ‘steaming load of crap’ pile… because I can see what I look like and it is neither.
You seem to trust too much… and I trust too little.
zZz … I wouldn’t say its trust too much. Rather I respect that someone may have a different view than I do… but don’t get me wrong, they are usually wrong &/or bat shit crazy, but I’m ok with that ~;p
Actually I believe that there really is someone (actually a lot of someone’s) for everyone, all you have to do is manage to find one of those people you are compatible with, if you happen to be lucky its someone who you a very compatible with.
Then there’s my personal observations over many years & unlike a person I’ve know since junior high,who has always involved themselves with someone who is like a carbon copy of the last person they were involved with.
I’ve tried tall, short, thin , voluptuous. Black white, oriental, Italian, Dominican , Mexican, French & I was married to the devils sister for many years. (So trying to scare me will take a lot)
To be perfectly honest, I couldn’t pick a favorite, unless my present lover asked & I would pick her.
@ More: Is your apathetic ass made of stone? Wish I was that easy to please. Guess it just goes to show, men are ok with anything, as long as there’s a hole they can stick their dick into.