To those of you who have let their vocabulary drop to that of a fourth grader in a 90’s sitcom, we would like to remind you that paper-bound dictionaries still exist. Who ever would have thought that something so natural to the human intellect as a flowing, animated, two-way conversation between consenting adults would merit intrigue on a level greater than the Watergate scandal. Apparently doing this tenacious act in a public parking arena without a Starbucks or WiFi connection in sight is today’s Wicken debauchery of yesteryear. If Marshall McLuhan’s message truly went through into today’s mediums, maybe the existent oddity of interpersonal communication may not yet become extinct. For those of you who respond to this with only four letter words on your typewriter, please step outside and see those around you who find the happiness that only Aristotle could depict in their elegant wordsmith. “Occupy” your conversations, not your stares. —Tennyson & Poe
This article appears in Nov 3-9, 2011.
Yes, let’s all be pontificating, pretentious pricks of grammatical perfection. Piss off.
well, i feel embiggened
Fook Me, I need a fookin’ pint. I like ma pints.
…as if individual sentences from Bitches were harvested, then laid out end to end into one New Bitch, that makes no sense.
It embigguns us *all*!
What?
“Who ever would have thought that something so natural to the human intellect as a flowing, animated, two-way conversation between consenting adults would merit intrigue on a level greater than the Watergate scandal.”
You missed a question mark you insufferable prick. Mind your own business. If people want to talk like valley girls or slack jawed yokels that’s their business. We can’t all be English prof’s. Who would pour your double tall low fat vanilla soy bean caramel latte? Marshall McLuhan? I think not.
Pretty sure you wouldn’t have an issue if the fire fighter rescuing you from a wreck didn’t know the difference between they’re, their, and there. Same goes for the people who work on the roads and sidewalks that you use, grow the food that you eat, and take your garbage to the dump.
We can’t all be English majors or professional writers. Society would crumble. Get the fuck over yourself.
I like the feeling of squished grapes between my toes….
wanna meet up and talk about it?
All fucking bow to the snob who thinks that by using big words to speak to another person is the only way to be sophisticated. Get bent ya pabst blue ribbon drinking hipster. I will communicate however I feel fit. I bet you talk like sheldon from Big Bang Theroy.
* whomever
* media is the plural of medium
* find the happiness that only Aristotle could depict in their elegant wordsmith
wtf?
I love when all the bitchers can unite against a common cause.
Oh, not another bitch from the Thesaurus Squad!! I don’t mind reading sophisticated or intelligent writing from someone with a brain or some talent, but this is just bad!
wots a dikshunairy?
fourth grader in a 90’s sitcom
Dude. En feugo.
(i WISH people still talked like that)
montrealman strikes again
No, it’s not his style. And, he’d post under his name.
Who’s “we”? The Wicken’s or are you trying to write in the third person?
I can only see a conversation being “tenacious”, if you won’t let it go.
I wonder about the “flowing, animated, two-way conversation”, perchance in the middle of a Wal-Mart parking lot?
Meh whatever, I’ll be submitting your bitch to the next Bulwer-Lytton contest.
RSVPs
: KillBrindi (Oct. 27, 4.44PM) – No dear, it’s not me.
: Ivan (4:51PM) – Very perceptive Ivan. But how would you characterize my “style?” Sensitive? Cognitively Informed? Compassionate? Enormously Intelligent? Write back soon.
A pleasure as always.
Cheerio!
What are you guys talking about? This is a perfectly cromulent bitch!
But how would you characterize my “style?”
pretentious. naive. uninformed.
Is this Mr. Ripely Senior Establishment again? See “A Peculiar Drop in the Bucket”. So you were talking to somebody in a parking lot and people were staring at you in wonderment. I think you’ve been drinking too much of that foul elixir.
Watergate scandal? You must be near my age to use that as an example. I do enjoy your posts though so keep up the good work.
I’m sure all your friends will be happy to know how much they bore you. Good luck being a pretentious knob, seems to be working for you so far.
ummm blow me ..
You would think someone so amazing would know how to write properly. It’s 2011, not 1811… ugh.
Is that what people with a useless arts degree write for a bitch?