“Hell is other people,” the French philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre famously wrote. And nowhere does that statement ring more true than on a first date with a stranger. We’re suckers for love, it seems, and in our search for that special someone—or a bit of fun with somebody who doesn’t give off the “ick”—we’re willing to endure all manner of bad dates, bad conversations and hilariously bad matches. Or so the responses from The Coast’s annual Sex + Dating Survey would have us believe.
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Raw data: Results from The Coast’s 2025 Sex + Dating Survey
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Hundreds of you filled out this year’s survey (our 17th!!) on all things mating and dating. And our readers’ responses to the question, “What’s the most cringe-worthy thing someone’s said to you on a date?” are filled with enough second-hand embarrassment—and laughs—to steer you clear of dating for a while. Or at least give you something to change the topic to on your next bad date. Read some of the highlights below:
*Disclaimer: This story contains graphic language*
“This date was OK. I’d like to go out again and see you open up more.”
“Telling me their white saviour stories in Latin America. (I am Latin American.)”
“You’re heavier than your picture.”
“‘You should read Rich Dad, Poor Dad. I think you’d really learn a lot.’ (We were 17 years old.)”
“I’m out of your league.”
“You look great for 30.”
“You would look so good with cum on your face.”
“I’m just doing this to get even with my partner.”
“I’d like to plan a wedding with you sometime in the future.”
“Before even ordering coffee on a coffee date, the guy asked me back to his place to fuck.”
“Live, laugh, love. That’s my motto.”
“I go on lots of dates just to get free meals.”
“How big is your cock?”
“You remind me of my dad.”
“I shouldn’t be drinking while on my meds. Anyway, did you want a ride home?”
“Could we hurry up? My wife is waiting for me at home.”
“One date he did all the talking… I said five words in an hour. He even answered the questions he asked me.”
“I never realized how big your boobs were until now because of that shirt.”
“One date brought a duffel bag to our second date.”
“Your sister is really beautiful.”
“If you want kids, I’ll have my vasectomy reversed.”
“My ex was out of this world in bed. Nothing can beat that.”
“I have digestive issues.”
“Hot bitch.”
“You’re really going to eat that?”
“That he eats sushi with ketchup and mustard.”
“Sorry I ghosted last time. I fell asleep.”
“We’re only doing this for sex, right?”
“God has given us this Earth to do whatever we want with it.”
“You look like Madonna’s ex.”
“Asked if my boobs were real.”
“I like scat play.”
“We should do brunch tomorrow. Should I call you or nudge you?”
“I’ve got a bowl of hash and a blanket in the car. We can pick up my girlfriend along the way.”
“I don’t believe in climate change.”
“I want to kiss you, but I don’t want you to get sick.”
“He tried to mansplain what laws were… after I told him I graduated from law school.”
“I don’t pay for anything.”
“I like titties.”
“I don’t normally date fat chicks.”
“I forgot your name.”
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This article appears in Feb 1-28, 2025.