Posted inLove the Way We Bitch/Love

Snow falling on metro

Weather wonks: There are many meanings of the much-used word “messy.” Must we include it in the shrill description of a snowstorm or its aftermath? This is Canada. And it’s winter. Is garbage falling from the sky? Nope. They’re small, light flakes formed by ice crystals. Being in the snow in the city – walking, […]

Posted inLove the Way We Bitch/Love

Fucking fireworks

There’s nothing I hate more. Every fucking holiday, I get woken up out of a dead sleep by the loudest noise ever! Did a war break out? Gunshots outside my bedroom window? No, it’s the lame fucking fireworks again, ruining our environment with black clouds of smoke and disturbing the peace. This is midnight – […]

Posted inLove the Way We Bitch/Love

Driver’s ed

Nova Scotia, I’m quite fond of you, but we need to talk about your driving habits. Let’s start with the tailgating. You should always keep at least a two-second following distance in the best circumstances, more in adverse circumstances. Some adverse circumstances are environmental (like bad weather or fog), some are mechanical (like balding tires, […]

Posted inLove the Way We Bitch/Love

Delusions

I thought paying five bucks for a cup of coffee in NYC was bad, until I came to your neighbourhood where they serve a $12 grilled cheese sandwich. No, I didn’t order one as I’m over the age of ten—this was a special advertised outside of the eatery. You want $12 for two pieces of […]

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