QI am at a loss. I am devastated. I just found out my husband has been sexting with another woman. As if that’s not bad enough, this woman is his first cousin! And this has been going on for years! I’ll give you a moment to recover from that jaw drop. OK, now the background. […]
Dan Savage
Posted inLifestyle
When good kinks go away
Q I know you and other sexperts say that kinks are ingrained and not something you can get rid of, but mine have all vanished! Ever since I started on antidepressants, my relationship with my body and how it reacts to pain—both physical and mental—has completely changed. I used to love getting bit and spanked […]
Posted inLifestyle
How to parent a toy boy
QI’m positive you’ve written something about this in the past. But I have searched your archives and have only managed to find people arguing in the comments about this topic, when what I want is your advice. My 16-year-old son is stealing our sex toys. My son took my husband’s handheld toy several months ago. […]
Posted inLifestyle
4 relationship quickies
QI’m a 30-year-old straight woman in a three-year relationship with my live-in partner, who is also 30. I love him and he loves me and he wants to make a life with me. However, in this pandemic, the stress is so great that I have lost all desire to have sex. I don’t want anyone […]
Posted inLifestyle
The boyfriend experience
QSex-positive bi woman here. I have recommended your column to many people over the years to help them feel normal and human in their kinks, fantasies, sexuality, et cetera. But I’m having a more difficult time extending similar acceptance to myself. I was in a three-year relationship with a cis straight man. I recently moved […]
Posted inLifestyle
Dan Savage says the case on HIV disclosure is closed for most people
QI could really use your advice. I recently found my boyfriend’s HIV meds while I was house sitting for him and went into his cupboard for a multivitamin. We’ve been dating for a year and I had assumed he was negative. I’m negative myself and on PrEP and he is undetectable, so I know there […]
Posted inLifestyle
Dan Savage says Cum again
QAs you can see by my signature, Dan, I’m a linguist. On your podcast you frequently ask researchers “whatchyougot” on all kinds of sex- and romance-related questions, I thought maybe you’d be interested in some expertise on linguistic matters too. And I have some on “cum,” “cumming,” and (shudder) “cummed.” The technical term here used […]
Posted inLifestyle
European adventures
QWe’re an adventurous, bisexual, non-monogamous, opposite-sex couple with a teenage kid. We’re living in Europe. We don’t really struggle with finding and trying new and interesting stuff in bed. However, we do have a problem and it’s getting worse. Having sex is, well, weird, when the kid is at home. We can’t be loud, we can’t […]
Posted inLifestyle
Gay dream believer
QI’m wondering if you can help me with some dream interpretation. If it helps for context, I’m a single 29-year-old gay man. For just about as long as I can remember, I’ve been having mildly unsatisfying sex dreams in that the dreams never seem to lead to sex itself. My dream partners range from people […]
Posted inLifestyle
The curious case of the come in the casserole
QSomething is bothering me, and I don’t know where else to turn. I’m a bisexual man. I’ve been married to a great guy for the past six years. Despite COVID-19 we gathered safely for an outdoors American Thanksgiving dinner with my family. My mom, my brother and sister-in-law, and my adult nieces and nephews and […]
Posted inLifestyle
Losing out in love and spelling (and Winnipeg)
QI’m a lesbian and my girlfriend is bi. I’ve read your column and listened to your podcast for a long time, Dan, and I always thought I’d be fine with having a partner ask me about being monogamish. Then my girlfriend of about a year and a half told me she wants to see what other […]
Posted inLifestyle
Blocked
QMy boyfriend and I were friends for a couple of years (we’re both 30-year-old gay men), then I stopped travelling around the world and pursued him. We’ve been boyfriends for a year and a half now. We were both happy and we had sex on a regular basis during the first year. I’m more into […]