Dan Savage

Q My wife and I have been married for a few years and are expecting our first child. I’m really into the idea of being sprayed with my wife’s breast milk. The other night, she was fretting about when her boobs are going to start leaking. This seemed like a good time to bring it […]

Q My wife and I click on just about every level—parenting, money, religion, politics—except for sex. After our last child was born, my advances were increasingly rejected. In an attempt to avoid pressuring her, I stopped initiating. One week passed, nothing. A month passed, nothing. A YEAR passed, nothing. Depression and anger set in. But […]

Q I came out as trans-something/genderqueer three years ago. I was born male but live my life predominantly as female. I’m 25 now. Coming out involved accepting that it would complicate my ever finding someone. I haven’t dated since. My problem: Today, a guy my age asked me out while making me a sandwich in […]

A DEAR READERS: Folks who have the Savage Love mobile app get the Savage Love Letter of the Day (SLLOTD) delivered to their iPhones or Androids. This week, I’m running three recent SLLOTDs to give my print-only readers a taste of what they’re missing. I’m also giving myself a bit of a break: I’m currently […]

Q Three months ago, my sociopathic girlfriend dumped me because I was going into the military. Afterward, I found out she was cheating on me with a married man. The one great thing about her was that she opened me up. At 22, I’d been in only a few other relationships. The sex with her […]

Q I am a 36-year-old straight man, blissfully married to my 34-year-old soulmate. We have explored and enjoyed each other for a decade now and we recently started exploring BDSM and D fantasies. Everything was going great sexually—until last night. Two years ago, my wife expressed an interest in an MMF three-way, where I was […]

Q Long story short: I cheated on my boyfriend three years ago. I admitted it nine months ago, and we’ve been in couples counselling for six months. My BF is very responsive in therapy, where we’re working on his control issues, and he says everything the therapist expects him to during a session. Twenty-four hours […]

Q I’m a 41-year-old, very attractive, happily married woman. My husband and I have been together for 15 years. When we first met, the sex was absolutely incredible. After we got married, the sex was good, not great. This was because we were busy raising our children. (My husband had custody of children from his […]

Q I am 50 and a lesbian. I have had a pretty active sex life for the last 30 years, including a couple of long-term relationships. For the last three years, I’ve been with a woman I love very much. We have amazing sexual chemistry—by far the best I have experienced. For the last two […]

Q I am a straight man. From high school through college and after, I loved me some women. Then I met my present girl 10 years ago. I fell head over heels for her. I still love her. But, little by little, she has become boring to me. Our sex life has cooled. Days run […]

Q I’ve written before, but I didn’t hear back from you—probably because my email didn’t contain flogging or santorum or whatever. But I won’t be IGNORED, Dan. I’m a 32-year-old female. Second marriage, two kids: one kid with my ex and one with the man I cheated on my ex with (my current husband). My […]

Q I read your column every week, mostly out of abstract interest. My thoughts reading your advice are usually some variation on “Wow, that’s a lot of work to do, just to have a sex life.” So reading you, I came to the conclusion that I was asexual. I liked this conclusion, as it was […]