relationships

QI’m a gay guy living in New York in his late twenties. My boyfriend has really been emotionally impacted by the pandemic, having been a frontline worker. I think he is suffering from some mild depression or at the very least some intense anxiety, so I just want to preface this by saying I completely […]

QI’m positive you’ve written something about this in the past. But I have searched your archives and have only managed to find people arguing in the comments about this topic, when what I want is your advice. My 16-year-old son is stealing our sex toys. My son took my husband’s handheld toy several months ago. […]

QI’m a 30-year-old straight woman in a three-year relationship with my live-in partner, who is also 30. I love him and he loves me and he wants to make a life with me. However, in this pandemic, the stress is so great that I have lost all desire to have sex. I don’t want anyone […]

QWe’re an adventurous, bisexual, non-monogamous, opposite-sex couple with a teenage kid. We’re living in Europe. We don’t really struggle with finding and trying new and interesting stuff in bed. However, we do have a problem and it’s getting worse. Having sex is, well, weird, when the kid is at home. We can’t be loud, we can’t […]

QI’m wondering if you can help me with some dream interpretation. If it helps for context, I’m a single 29-year-old gay man. For just about as long as I can remember, I’ve been having mildly unsatisfying sex dreams in that the dreams never seem to lead to sex itself. My dream partners range from people […]

QSomething is bothering me, and I don’t know where else to turn. I’m a bisexual man. I’ve been married to a great guy for the past six years. Despite COVID-19 we gathered safely for an outdoors American Thanksgiving dinner with my family. My mom, my brother and sister-in-law, and my adult nieces and nephews and […]

QI’m a lesbian and my girlfriend is bi. I’ve read your column and listened to your podcast for a long time, Dan, and I always thought I’d be fine with having a partner ask me about being monogamish. Then my girlfriend of about a year and a half told me she wants to see what other […]

QMy boyfriend and I were friends for a couple of years (we’re both 30-year-old gay men), then I stopped travelling around the world and pursued him. We’ve been boyfriends for a year and a half now. We were both happy and we had sex on a regular basis during the first year. I’m more into […]

QI’ve always been excited by BDSM, but I’ve only minimally explored this side of myself until very recently. I’m a straight woman and it was difficult to find men who wanted more monogamish relationships on the traditional apps, and a challenge to be honest about what I am looking for where kink is concerned. I’d […]

QWhy are threesomes much more accepted in the popular imagination than foursomes? I was just googling “finding foursomes” and the first result is an article about threesomes that takes for granted that people are looking for MFF. That is a form of heteronormativity, right? I am not judging threesomes, of course, but asking why foursomes are […]

QI’m a nearly-80 straight male, with undiminished libido. I have no problem with it, just a persistent curiosity. Like, why now? And is it common among us old geezers? Male and female? I’m more sex-obsessed than ever before, including adolescence. Until my sixties, tits were my sexual focus, and other body parts were strictly subsidiary, […]