relationships

QI’m a European heterosexual girl, and reading your column from afar has been a good way for me to better know the sex world! I am wondering if you have advice for me about a “faster” way to do blowjobs. Or rather a way to make my boyfriend come faster from them. I like doing […]

Q I’m someone who does gay porn for a living. How do people who do gay porn meet someone who doesn’t just sexualize or fetishize them? I can’t eat, sleep and breathe my work constantly, but the guys I meet want me to live out the “porn persona” version of myself all the time. How […]

QYou’ve said that everyone is entitled to a “zone of erotic autonomy.” I was wondering if you thought that “zone” extends to sending thousands of dollars to a “FinDom.” I’m a 33-year-old straight woman and I love my husband and we have a great (or so I thought) sex life. He’s very dominant and controlling […]

QI have a quick question about bisexuality. What if one has a preference for dating straight individuals? As a straight woman, I am only interested in dating straight men. Is that some kind of phobia? Or is it OK for that to be a preference? I’ve always wanted to ask someone this but I’m afraid […]

Q I’m a cis bi guy in my 40s who doesn’t have a lot of experience with other men. I’m happily married to a wonderful woman who knows I’m bi, and while we’re presently monogamous, we’ve talked about opening things up in the future. If that happens, I’d like to casually hook up with a […]

QI’m a female in my late twenties. I broke up with a toxic ex about a year ago and I’ve been walking around (my house!) thinking I was over it. I never missed him and rarely thought about him. A brief backstory: In the final months of us living together, we started having more discussions […]

Q I’m a 29-year-old straight male. I’ve been with my 25-year-old partner for six years. I love her and think that we are perfect for each other. We have all the things that make existing with someone wonderful. But about two years into our relationship I had a two-week-long affair while I was out of […]

QI’ve been with my boyfriend for 2.5 years and we have a great relationship–or so I thought. Last week, I snooped on my boyfriend’s browser history and I don’t know what to do with what I found. I’m a longtime reader and Savage Lovecast listener SO I KNOW WHAT I DID WAS WRONG. I believe my […]

I want to thank everyone who attended our third Savage Love Livestream last Saturday night. Mistress Matisse was our very special guest, and we tackled a lot of questions about BDSM over a very lively 90 minutes. We didn’t get to every question–there were so many–but I will now, as promised, power through as many […]

QA male friend–not my best friend but a close one–told me his wife was really attracted to me, another male, and asked if I was attracted to her. His wife is an incredibly hot woman and I thought it was a trick question. I read your column and listen to the Savage Lovecast, Dan, so […]

QI am at a loss. I am devastated. I just found out my husband has been sexting with another woman. As if that’s not bad enough, this woman is his first cousin! And this has been going on for years! I’ll give you a moment to recover from that jaw drop. OK, now the background. […]