You started out by turning on the charm, which you seemed to have in abundance; cooking a lovely meal to share, inviting me ’round for coffee regularly, giving me the impression that you were a spiritual man, feeling a bit lonely and missing female companionship. I was taken in by your clever conversation and humour, and thought I’d found someone I could have a good friendship with. I never indicated in any way, by flirting, innuendo or otherwise, that I was interested in having a sexual relationship with you. But within a couple of months you started turning every conversation into a discussion of either your sexual proclivities or exploits, then trying to grab a feel or plant a sloppy wet kiss on me as I was headed out the door. The last straw was your announcement that “there are half a dozen guys in our building who would like to get hold of [me] and do unspeakable things to [my] body.” WTF? Was that supposed to make me feel good, that you and your loser friends are discussing me in this vulgar, ignorant way? Well, news flash, bucko; here’s why you’re fucking lonely. It’s because you’re a bull-shitting CREEP! —X Was Right…You Are A Loser.
This article appears in Apr 2-8, 2015.
Ladies: when turning on the charm, cooking a lovely meal to share, inviting you ’round for coffee regularly, giving you the impression that he is a spiritual man (whatever that means in this context) who’s feeling a bit lonely and missing female companionship… a man is trying to start something. Not figuring that out within the first few times means you’re a bit stunned. Please don’t bitch about it.
I’m with jesus, you’re a clueless idiot… why the fuck else would he spend that much time and money on you? You’ve probably figured this out NOW, but if a guy without a female companion is lavishing attention and money on you… he wants to do the verticle tango, bump uglies, shag, make the bacon, pork, get some nookie, have a quickie, screw, get a piece, sink the sausage, rock the casbah, do the hokey-pokey, do the bedroom rodeo, roast the broomstick, hitting the skins or pull the ever famous disapearing cane trick.
I don’t blame you for thinking poorly of this fellow but what did you think was gonna happen?
Sounds like the OB has a legitimate gripe but I’m perplexed by one nagging detail: “you started turning every conversation into a discussion of either your sexual proclivities or exploits, then trying to grab a feel or plant a sloppy wet kiss on me as I was headed out the door.”. I don’t understand why the Ob would go back after the first incident of sexual talk or groping. Am I missing something here?
But Jesus, she’s not clueless, she got meals, coffees, and doubtless other things she didn’t have to pay for and had he not done anything that most people do when they are dating someone, and that was what he was doing, and after three months, wanted to further.
AN EXCELLENT BITCH
“Well, news flash, bucko; here’s why you’re fucking lonely. It’s because you’re a bull-shitting CREEP!” X Was Right… You Are a Loser
Here we have an example of tight logical reasoning. Bucko is fucking lonely because he is a bull-shitting creep. There is a clear and undeniable causal relationship holding between the two concepts of being fucking lonely on the one hand and being a bull-shitting creep on the other. Well done! An excellent bitch!
A pleasure as always,
Cheerio!
By the way, womenfolk, if a guy presents himself as being “spiritual” and your BS detector’s alarm doesn’t go off …check the batteries – they may be getting weak!