I know I’m going to sound like a passive-aggressive ungrateful bitch but I have to vent.
Why does every friend and relative who comes to the east coast ask me to take time off work and/or ask to stay at my place for several days/weeks in order to save themselves a little cash. 1) I am available to see all these good visitors on evenings and weekends. But if I took a vacation day every time someone I knew visited Halifax I would have no more vacation left for MY FUCKING VACATION which, guess what? wouldn’t include THEM! Why the fuck am I given the guilt trip of not being around? Is having to go to work a crime? Also, I have the type of job (high stress, crazy deadlines) where I would have to make up that day somewhere – like the following weekend – in order to catch up on work missed shuttling their asses around town. Um, no thanks. Wow, your vacation has now turned into over-time for me! 2) Crash at my place? Why does your need to save money equal inconvenience for me? Again, I hate house-guests. It’s a visit that never fuckin’ ends. Sucks the energy out of me. Oh yeah, and I’m expected to pay all the groceries and have you pounce on me the minute I come home from work because you’re so bored ’cause I’ve been away all day. Gah! Get lives! Go entertain yourselves! I wish I had visitors who used my place like a B&B. Just crash and do your own thing. I won’t be offended. Honestly!!
I would never ask someone to take vacation day(s) just because I happened to plan a vacation in a city they live in. Let’s meet up at a pub, have a pint or two, then split. Must we all spend days and days together? Especially some people I haven’t seen in YEARS!!!
I hate people who vacation to Halifax, think they’re the only ones on the planet who has ever decided to do so, and thus expect your world to stop for them. Fuck off!
Yes, I’m a bitch and you are all probably wondering why I even have the problem of having people want to visit me. Ahahahaa! I just like people in small doses.
—The Rain Is Making Me Hate People
This article appears in Jun 25 – Jul 1, 2009.
Nah, you’re not a bitch.
There are like maybe two people from away that I’d consider taking time off of work for if they came to visit (close CLOSE family), but other than that, they’re on their own. My uncle comes to visit my parents every second summer or so and he’s the perfect houseguest — he just comes and goes as he pleases and doesn’t expect my parents to hang out with him constantly.
Anyway, my suggestion is just to tell them you CAN’T get any time off of work. Not like they’re gonna call your boss and check up on that (or demand you get time off)….and if they do, don’t let them stay at your house because they’re NUTS.
it sucks but just say no
maybe find them a deal on another place or something its crummy but if you dont want them there then dont have them there
The magic word is ‘no’. Don’t give any explanations, no excuses, just flash your biggest smile and say ‘no can do’.
Presumptuous behavior is the worst, hands down! I’m with TTFN and Jane here. Learn how to say something like, “oh I’m glad I’ll get to see you! Of course you’re welcome to crash at my pad but forgive me while I work my life away. [insert evening event] is happening at [venue]. We can look forward to that. Oh, and this [event] happens in the day time, maybe you can take it in then meet me for a quick lunch that day?…”
OP, you seem to be articulate enough to form sentences and paragraphs. Turn this skill into conversation with a respectable back bone and you’ll have a lovely vacations visiting these same friends
haha well Kay……
obviously you would be like NO now get out!
obviously…. what?
Agreed with OP, would like to add how much I hate the “pop in”… Call first… And who doesnt knock? come on now…
I’m the same way, I need people in small doses. I can’t stand being around friends all the time.. I don’t like people who are high maintenance … who like to hang out constantly or need to phone me or have me phone them. Once a week is perfect for me, otherwise I’d go insane!
“‘oh I’m glad I’ll get to see you! Of course you’re welcome to crash at my pad but forgive me while I work my life away. [insert evening event] is happening at [venue]. We can look forward to that. Oh, and this [event] happens in the day time, maybe you can take it in then meet me for a quick lunch that day?…'”
That’s actually some pretty dam good advice.
I’m glad I live in an apartment sometimes because people have to get buzzed in and when I see the rental company name on the caller ID I can just ignore it and pretend I’m not home. Parking’s underground too so it’s not like they’d know I was there anyway. Also have a camera in the lobby so I can just turn on the tele and see who it is.
I fucking HATE the pop in. If you wanna come over, fine, just call first to give me some warning…I mean what if the person you’re popping in on is busy taking a crap or hasn’t showered and doesn’t want to be seen by others? Frig.
I agree. People shouldn’t just show up unless some kind of emergency prevented a common courtesy call. Everybody values privacy when they want it.
Thanks Angel, I thought so too… it’s gotta be better than letting people walk all over you and then bitching about it later… an act of futile frustration
Agreed OP. In many places, vacation is doled out the year prior and is difficult to change. If they want to stay a night, I’d say yeah because I happen to have a spare bed in my apartment, but beyond that, not a chance unless some discussion has occurred.
If you let people walk all over you then they will. Grow a pair and learn to say no. You have no one to blame but yourself.
like ttfn so eloquently put it did someone cut your fucking vocal chords