My child does not shit randomly everywhere making you spend hundreds of hours of your life cleaning my child’s shit off your carpet, your shoes, your car, your child’s clothing; fucking everything and everywhere. My child does not have sharp teeth which injure or maim people and destroy fucking everything in the house, nor does my child run up to smaller children and shove those teeth in their terrified face while I say “Oh it’s ok he loves kids!” My child does not jump up on you and destroy your brand new coat and I do not lamely say “oh sweetie get down” and do absolutely nothing while my child continues to jump up with his claws decimating your investment. My child does not get so excited with every new visitor to the house that he runs up to each one and fucking urinates on their shoes, nor would I think it’s cute that my child licks your face or shoves his nose in your crotch or whines/growls at you. If my child behaved like your fucking smelly dog, I’d get daily professional help immediately. —Don’t get me started on cat shit – Halifax
This article appears in Jan 23-29, 2014.
By the time your child is old enough to be a truly destructive in the ass, and get away with it because of youth or being found N.C.R. most hounds have met the big needle so fuck off.
It’s not that that really bothers me because that is what a dog does. What I hate are people who think their animals are human babies. They aren’t, they are pets and you are not their mommy or daddy.
Did you ever remotely entertain the idea that, for some people, their animals are their family?
I’ve had more destructive kids in my house than I ever had destructive dogs.
And, yes, don’t start on cats. Their lovely little furry faces are a great joy for many people, myself included. Give me critters for company over squawking kids any day, OP – and, rest assured, I’ve done both.
I have nothing but pity for you, OB, it’s really too bad you can’t enjoy the companionship that a pet provides.
Me, I don’t care about smelly, destructive, kids. Always spilling shit everywhere, taking temper tantrums in the line-up at the checkout, leaving their shitty diapers in parking lots, beaches and parks. Thoughtless parents letting their stupid fuck trophy’s run wild in public places, letting them scream in restaurants and movie theaters (especially movies that are not made for children) and, for fuck sakes, leave you fucking newborn home on “date night”. Nobody wants to sit next to your puking, cholachy little shit stain!!!
Your shitty kid annoys the fuck out me, so I guess we’re even. Now, go fuck yourself!!!
The day a dog, (or cat) steals a car to go joy riding through a residential neighborhood at 120 kph and kills someone, rapes a girl, films it and bullies her to death, swarms a stranger and kicks him into the ER for shits and giggles, or causes a major power outage by boosting copper wire for meth money, you might, just possibly might have a point.
Until then, take your precious little family, pack them into your smuggy-buggy and do a Thelma and Louise off Cape Fucking Smokey
People that treat their dogs as people are fucked and fucking up their dogs. I have seen dogs so neurotic and frenzied, they are totally unsure of what they are, what they are supposed to do and just plain old mental baskets. You are not doing yourself or your dog a favor by letting it think it is human. Every dog pack in the wild has pack leader. When you have a dog in your home, YOU have to be the pack leader even if your pack is only that dog and you. People who treat their dogs as human or equals should not be allowed to have dogs because you are FUCKING THEM UP ROYALLY. You are showing the world how fucked up you are yourself.
Yours truly
Oh yeah shit doc, what you just said about kids. You were one of those smelly, destructive, spilling shit everywhere, temper tantrum taking, publicly running wild, restaurant and theater screaming, shitty annoying kids once.
Yours truly.
What ever happened to wogdog,a.k.a…? Anyone?
Yours truly.
No but I bet your child: screams in the grocery store, whines at the movies, has a fit at the mall, is obnoxious in public in general. And I bet you think he or she is the second coming of Christ and we all admire your handy work. We have no kids not but choice. I used to be upset about that. Now I am thanking my lucky stars.
Me, I’m not that crazy about dogs or children. Both are messy, and require supervision. Occasionally, my older sister brings her two brats to visit .. I stuff them with goodies, and bring out my ipad for them to play with.
If I didn’t entertain them, they would tear the place apart.
Once they got into my bf’s art supplies, while I was distracted by a phonecall … even my sister was appalled at the mess. Don’t even get me started on dogs that jump up and ruin nice clothing.
Some people are suited to have children and/or pets, and some are fated to be their victims. That’s the way that I see it.
You’re only a victim if you allow yourself to be a victim. The problem is people have children or pets and don’t know the first thing about taking care of them because their parents didn’t know how to take care of their children and pets, and so taught the ignorance to their own children and pets, and so on and so on for quite a few generations now. Look around at what and how people allow their children and pets to do and act. Not any difference really if you ask me.
The children run wild because no one knows how to parent anymore, there are too many children born into poverty/assistance funded homes etc, to parents who were born in the same circumstances, which breeds the exact same thing. It’s a vicious circle which is doomed to continue. The same goes for these poor dogs who are at the mercy of the degree of stupidity of their pet humans.
Yours truly.
“You’re only a victim if you allow yourself to be a victim.”
That’s kind of an empty statement, one cannot avoid children and dogs .. they’re pretty much everywhere, yes?
Dogs seem to like me, and tend to jump up .. I can’t avoid this at every turn in life, yes?
I don’t have to deal with many children, fortunately!
You can voice your opinion when the offending child/and or pet destroys your vestment, or whatever else the idiot parent/owner allowed the thing to do. It’s your crotch, leg, coat, shoe/boot, you get my drift?
Yours truly.
If that doesn’t work, cause it may not, then maybe you need to give a good solid swat at the offending snout/hand?
Yours truly.
hey wheels,
Complaining does nothing, violence is for idiots. Neither course of action keeps the problem from happening again .. blaming the victim is just typical nonsense .. get MY drift?
“What ever happened to wogdog?”
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_l2VT7bYUEaY/TTyj…
Did you big bullies scare her away or get her so worked up she got herself banned from the comment board?
Yours truly.
i guess OP doesn’t have a boy child. i had two of the little devils.
Something tells me Wheels has a charming little white “Come-fuck-me” vest that he wears on casual Fridays
I’m kind with wheels on this one. You got to be the Alpha, and you can’t let that slip. BUT, Blue is also part of my family, and I kinda treat him like I would a 7yr old. He can go out to play by himself, but he knows that he’s not alowed near the road.
OB – Does this dog shit in your house? Is this a friend’s/family dog? Or are you just generalizing?
If it’a a real situation, your friend has some problems and is far better off raising a dog rather than a child.
If it’s just a bitch about how people spoil their animals, then your ignorance and “illusion of knowledge” is equal to that of a certain epistemological PhDuh.
Also: fuck you, OB. I AM my cats’ mom. I feed them and support their asses, groom them, clean their crap, make sure they get appropriate health care and take care of them when they’re sick, teach them right from wrong and love them.
That’s pretty much what MY parents did for me. *shrug*
Total overreaction OP. Dogs and toddlers may be similar but really they’re apples and oranges. Similar in the sense that they yearn praise, rewards and love. Dissimilar in the sense that the dog I not going to develop much beyond that while the child will develop into a righteous pain in the ass.
A lot of people liken their dogs to children because they love them and they invoke a parental instinct. Some parents (not of dogs but people) find that insulting and that may be the underlying emotion OP has. Again apples and oranges OP, it’s the love for a pet not an attack on your kid.
OP doesn’t report dogs for attacking children. OP is a horrible person.
“Also: fuck you, OB. I AM my cats’ mom. I feed them and support their asses, groom them, clean their crap, make sure they get appropriate health care and take care of them when they’re sick, teach them right from wrong and love them.”
What a load of crap! You like your pet animals better than most people, I am thinking.
Easier to control, aren’t they? Those pesky people won’t put up with your nonsense, but your animal has no choice.
Kitty, it would be just like Woggy to be flogging rubber lobsters that have been marked up 400%.
Buddha, I’d love to know what nickname your ’employees’ call you behind your back. Methinks they are simply figments of your fertile imagination – your whole persona smells mighty fishy. Which should make you very popular with the local alley cats.
“You like your pet animals better than most people”
Odds were Buddha, you would eventually say something intelligent. Ding Hao!
“I am thinking”
Well, let’s not get presumptuous. Even a blind panhandler finds her gin occasionally.
random… poop bags… everywhere
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bRh-9AwcvjE
My cat shits.
hey, there are stupid lazy ass dog owners and there are stupid lazy ass parents. so what else is new?
some people can love their dogs beyond belief, yet still acknowledge they are DOGS and not children. (which can be a blessing) and not dress them up in little outfits, nor sit them at the table. some people can love their dogs because they are dogs, and not small humans. and let them be what dogs should be because that is a joy, to give them a good life for a DOG. a life of freedom to sniff, to run free at times, to roll in mud without shaming, to have a variety of good food, not just dreary kibble, to drink from streams, to lie in the sun, to chase something, to chew on a good bone with no fear that something will take it, to blink in front of a fire with their human close by in the ancient bond.
i have children. i have dogs. they are different.
As Leo Rosten said at the roast for W C Fields ‘Anyone who hates children and dogs can’t be all bad’.
I don’t believe the dislikes on that bill burr link…
I checked ticket availability with a pre-sale password and it was already practically sold out.
(only back of balcony available 3 days before tickets even go on sale…. are you kidding me?!?!?)
eff that.
What’d I tell ya. You’re a snore.
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…………………………..
I wonder if people are confusing “treating a dog like a human” and “showing your pet the same respect you would show a human friend or family member”. You can respect a pet like you would a friend (by treating it like a human friend), while still recognizing that the pet does not communicate or generally behave in the same way that a human does.
I actually agree with what you’re saying, MeowaLot.
I KNOW my cats aren’t human. I’d never say that my cats are the same as an actual child, but that doesn’t mean I’m not looking after them responsibly like a parent would a young child.
I feel really sad for people who don’t like animals. There’s really nothing like it when the animal loves you back. When I got one of my current kittehs from the SPCA last year, she hid out under my bed for a month and then slowly started coming out — she’d hide under things and then finally, one day, she ran to the door squeaking to meet me when I got home. She kept doing that until one day I got home and patted her and picked her up and she started purring — I had adopted her months earlier, but she had, right then, adopted me. That’s the BEST feeling in the world, and I feel bad for people who aren’t capable of feeling that. And you know what — when I go out? She sits by the door and waits for me to come home and won’t let anyone move her.
And waking up to a kitteh curled up beside you is pretty awesome too. Especially when you’re sick and they spend the day napping with you. That’s pretty awesome.
anyone who says cats have no feelings, or are incapable of loving you, have never lived with one.
my cats over the years have given so much comfort in the bleakest times. diane’s samantha was glued to her side after di’s surgery.
and wonderful companions, some cats are adventurers. my homely old cranky puss-cat would curl over my shoulder on road trips in the yukon, and when we stopped would investigate the local flora. and when i moved from vancouver to ns in 07 we drove because old booger-cat was too old to fly. what a great trip. we stopped every 2 hours so he could stretch his legs and go for a sniff and a piddle. he visited terry fox’s statue in tunder bay, and dipped his paw in lake superior.
there is something missing in a person who doesn’t ‘get’ the love for an animal.
oh fuck off.. ever think some people can’t have children, or don’t have a partner to have children with.. there is nothing wrong with treating your animal like it is your child because for some people that is the only child they will have.. and what the hell does it have to do with anyone else??
It’s the entitlement that SOME parents (like OB) have, jlneary. They think that because they birthed a child, they have contributed to a miracle and the world better watch out because their special snowflake is on the loose.
Not all parents are like this, though. I have a lot of good friends with kids (some have multiple children) and while their priorities definitely DO change, they aren’t assholes about it.
It’s just the assholes of the world with kids that tend to think the world better stop drop and roll because THEY have a CHILD, don’tcha know!
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: having a kid is about as common as having a dump — for the lucky, it happens every day in this world.
Haha! You think your coat is an INVESTMENT?! What rate of return are you getting on it?
Pfft. Who needs a baby? I’ll take the unconditional love of a loyal best friend and one of these http://www.reborns.com/ ha ha.
NOTICE TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS:
(1) They live here. You don’t.
(2) If you don’t want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That’s why they call it ‘fur’-niture.
(3) I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
(4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don’t speak clearly.
Remember, dogs and cats are better than kids because they (1) eat less, (2) don’t ask for money all the time, (3) are easier to train, (4) normally come when called, (5) never ask to drive the car, (6) don’t hang out with drug-using people; (7) don’t smoke or drink, (8) don’t want to wear your clothes, (9) don’t have to buy the latest fashions, (10) don’t need a gazillion dollars for college and (11) if they get pregnant, you can sell their children .
Fookin’ mint, that. Bloody well put!
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