You’re a 29-year-old woman and I’m a 22-year-old man. Originally, we were just sleeping together and nothing more. But then I realized I was starting to develop deeper feelings for you than lust. I wanted something to materialize between us. When I expressed this to you, I learned you wanted someone to seriously date as well but you turned me down flat and told me I wasn’t right for you! The main reason? I’m too young. I’m devastated by this because I actually think we’d make a great couple. Ever heard of the expression, age is just a number? Is it because I don’t have a career yet? Is it because I’m a poor student? What! I don’t get it. I’m very mature for 22 and I felt we clicked. So I pretty much feel like I was just used by you. I’m good enough for a fuck but not a boyfriend. This sucks because I really liked you. —Early 20s Male in Love
This article appears in Oct 18-24, 2012.
Suck it up. The fact that you are posting this on LTWWB and what you are posting indicates that age is more than just number.
And hop back on get enjoy the no strings fucking.
7 years really isn’t much of a gap, one both parties have reached their ‘peak’ of maturity. Hell, I know men in their 40’s and 50’s who behave like teenaged boys. My 15 year old daughter is more mature, sensible and logical than many women in their 30’s. I guess what I’m saying is, I agree that age cannot, by itself, be a good indicator of maturity. I hate to say it, but it sounds like she’s just not that into you. ‘Fuck buddies’ rarely have a happy ending, as somebody always catches feelings.
Yes its because you are a student and dont have a career. I had fun with, but would not date guys your age. You have alot of life experience coming your way in the next few years and you’ll know what I mean when you are 30. You change a lot in your 20s and its not a bad thing. Have fun, dont be sad.
*when
Seems to me you were using each other for sex when you originally entered into the relationship. Just because you decide you want something more from her doesn’t mean you’re entitled to get it. Live and learn, buddy.
Holy frig bags!
She was letting you off easy without hurting your little boy feelings ……. but, you insisted and she laid it out for you and now you are whining on the b!tch board ….. you should go to her house some afternoon and bang her Mom, that would piss the chick right the fuck off!
You were a boy toy. Period. Suck it up honey. Men have been doing that to women for eons. I guess it isn’t too fun to have the tables turned on you huh? O well, it’s a whole new world out there baby, men just ain’t the do all end all for women anymore. Sad but true!
Chances she’ll be a divorcee by the time you’re a gainfully employed “adult” (defined these days as age 30 and over). So stay in shape, focus on school, and stay unmarried 🙂
Sooo… what you’re saying is that there’s a single 29 year old professional female, in this city, who’s looking for an older than 22, employed man, and just so happens to love sex?!
Don’t worry guys, I’ve got this one. Someone fetch me my horse, there’s a damsel that needs rescuing!
IF you are so stupid that you want to cut the head off the golden goose, you get what you deserve !
Now go appologise for your lapse of judgement & climb back on that pony ~;)
You were a fuck toy, OB. What do you honestly have to offer other than a dick and a wad of cum? You don’t have a career or the mental and social maturity as a professional. A 29-year-old woman probably has a better conversation with the back of a wine label than she does with a 22-year-old boy.
The whole ‘age is just a number’ thing is taken out of whack by kids your age and younger. Look at what happened to R. Kelly when he advocated that idea.
Holy hell, you are clueless, little boy. Yes, I said “boy” (I don’t consider 22-year-old males “men”). Why in the flying fuck would a woman pushing 30 want to date a 22-year-old? Obviously you’re not more mature than the average early 20-something, or she might have given it a shot. Guess you weren’t ready for your reality check.
What exactly is maturity?
Broad but legit question. I have no angle and I’d like to hear from some wiser, older (I mean that respectfully lol) folk what you all think.
o.p., you are not, i repeat, not in love. you are just boinking the bitch.
Think of it this way, if she’s that shallow, be happy you dodged a bullet. But as others have said you started as fuck buddies and that’s all she seemed to want. This why having a fuck buddy is so troublesome. It’s hard to find one that just wants to be one. Sooner or later one or the other will start developing feelings for the other.
How is she shallow? LOL The woman has standards. If the 30 year old female wants to babysit she can have her own children and raise them instead. A 22-year-old boy is just that; a boy. Nobody wants to raise a 22-year-old who has the mental maturity of someone 5 years younger.
What’s OB going to do to impress a 30-something professional anyway? “Hey, baby, just got back from work and I was promoted from grill to shift manager!” I be in the car driving and just be like, “shut the fuck up.”
ahah the iron biscuit, you bring me joy.
That’s life man. You used each other for sex and she was content with that. That is all she needed from you, she didn’t need to take it to the next level. Move on.
As for Donk’s question, maturity to me is impulse control, consideration for others and the sense that the world extends beyond one’s own comfort zone.
OP Too much of a good thing can be bad for you….You were honest to her about your feelings for her.As a result she cut you off completely.OP ask yourself if she ever cared for you at all.It sounds to me she wasn’t the “mature” person in the relationship.
OP Good luck in your future relationships…..Sometimes a person thinks they know whats(who)is best for themselves.Unfortunately thats a difficult lesson to learn.
lol! I remember when I was about your age, OP, like 3 years ago, I met a girl who turned out to be 29, we went on a couple dates. I’ll readily admit that I was not anywhere near on her level. Once you get that age you literally don’t have time to fuck around and it takes a little more to hold your interest.
Take that shit as a blessing, and never catch feelings for your fuck buddy. Things I would have told my 22 year old self..
There was a nine year difference between my mother and father and they remained married until the day he died. My mother said when she married him he was more mature than the guys her age. After he died (after time passed) we asked her why she didn’t go out and meet someone. She said after your father, nothing comes close and I had the best.
Just think, OB. You got to hit that, get some (much needed) lessons, and now you get take what you learned and whip through lots of 19-25 year old ass. Besides, when you’re 50, she’ll be almost 60 and likely be as bitter as old ‘Wigpig’. She’s really doing you a favour.
Three dislikes,why?I know my grammar is awful…I think I have a point though or perhaps the 3 dislikes on my comment can’t comprehend my points past the bad grammar?Try thinking “Dummy” then you’ll understand it.Lol…kinda.
OP, why would you broadcast your humiliating experience? and here, for heaven’s sake, where the anonymity of responders practically guarantees a harsh judgement. or….did you think you would get a shower of ‘awwwww, poor boy’ responses? maybe a date? cookies?
Hi Boru! 🙂
I can’t speak for other people, and I am not one of the ‘dislikers’, but there were two points in your post that I could see people possibly disagreeing with.
The OB didn’t say that the woman cut him off completely. He said that she turned him down and told him he’s not right for her. Like taking a knife, I’m sure, but brutally honest.
I can’t say that I believe she was immature. They were both very clear about the ‘rules of the game’. He was an informed, consenting participant. Unfortunately, he broke the ‘rules’ and caught feelings. Feelings, in a ‘strictly sex’ arrangement, changes the entire dynamic of the ‘relationship’. She was a straight shooter, and never led him to believe there was any possibility for a romantic relationship.
It sucks for the poor young buck, but she really didn’t do anything wrong. Hopefully he has learned something from it, like maybe he isn’t ‘fuck buddy’ material.
Not criticizing your opinion, Boru…just offering some feedback
hey boru, don’t look at the ‘likes’ and ‘dislikes’. i think people just roll through and click randomly. some of them.
Boru, I clicked dislike because the 29 year old wasn’t the immature one. OP sounds whiny to me and I’m sure sounded the same to her.
I appreciate you offering your honest answers to why you “disliked” my comments.There is always two sides to every story.Your correct she was brutally honest with him(I have to respect her for that) which doesn’t feel good when your on the receiving end. I can’t say I would know what I would do in the same circumstance,I never had a “fuck buddy”.But I wouldn’t mind…
At least she didn’t play stupid, denying everything or/and tell him he’s fucking nuts.
…Again thanks for explaining why the dislikes.I didn’t expect an answer…Your way cool for it.
A good FWB arrangement often leads to one side developing feelings. It’s hard to separate the endorphins released from sex from feelings of love. That’s one reason it’s so great!
OB, I wish for you a lesson that won’t make you bitter, continued delicious carnal friends and another tick on your “must have” list of ideal partners.
This wasn’t a failure…just a lesson that you can’t always get what you want. But if you try, sometimes, you just might find….
OB, enjoy it for what it is (or was). The issue is not yours, it’s hers. You can’t own it.
i get your frustration but a 22 year old male falls in and out of love about every six months.
She used to be 22. And she knows this. She wants someone with a stable life. That isn’t you, no matter what you try to tell yourself.
THE CONCEPT OF THE “FUCK BUDDY”
“I’m good enough for a fuck but not a boyfriend.” (Early 20’s Male in Love)
Sadly, the Early 20’s Male in Love wants to be more than just a fuck buddy with his 29-year-old previous fuck buddy. He wants to be her boyfriend. But what’s the difference? How is the fuck buddy to be distinguished from the boy friend? On what grounds?
I think we have an obvious criterion. While the emotion felt by the boyfriend is usually more than slight affection – sometimes it is even called “love” – the fuck buddy does not have it. That is why he is called a “fuck buddy.” But where does the fuck buddy fit in the scale of male-female relations? What, exactly is his status? To analyze this, we must engage “the concept of the fuck buddy.” In other words, we must place the concept in its proper context.
At the low end of male-female relations is prostitution, a commercial transaction in which neither partner feels affection for the other. It is purely a momentary carnal relation for the male and usually an economic one for the female. As we ascend the scale, taking the commercial element out of the equation, we come to the one-night stand. There might be some vestigial affection but it is only transient and spontaneous, often the result of the senses having been inflamed by alcohol and pelvis-grinding dancing. This spontaneous and transient nature of the one-night stand rules it out as being an instance of the fuck-buddy relation.
The next step up is planned recreational sex. The planned quality of the encounter – it could be via the Internet or by other means – raises it above the level of the spontaneous nature of the one night stand but, depending on the duration of the relationship, it may or may not satisfy the duration criterion of the fuck-buddy relationship. However, and this is important, recreational sex usually takes the form of group sex with the result that it also fails the one-on-one fuck-buddy test. The concept of multiple fuck buddies seems to be counter-intuitive, a contradiction in terms but, of course, it is not to be ruled out. Next up the ladder we come to the fuck buddies themselves.
To satisfy the concept of the fuck buddy, two factors must be met. They must fuck over a reasonable period of time and they must possess, if not great affection for each other, at least a degree of compatibility. Failing these two minimal requirements, the fuck buddy relationship may be terminated without warning, as indeed was the case in this bitch.
Of course, the whole concept of the fuck buddy rests on the changed nature of contemporary sexual relations. Whereas previously it was a matter of the most intimate relationship between a man and a woman possible, often culminating in (gasp) marriage, it has now assumed the nature of indoor recreation, a sort of pleasant pass-time. I suppose the closest analogy would be compatible partners in a game of contract bridge with the genitals taking the place of the cards.
A pleasure as always.
Cheerio!