So I know these two guys. One of them really likes me, and I really like the other one. I found out later that they’re best friends. And the one I like knows his best friend likes me, so he’s never going to ask me out. I think I now know what a love triangle is. Today. Fucking. Sucks. —Switch Please

This article appears in May 5-11, 2011.

Join the Conversation

67 Comments

  1. Reply
  2. Reply
  3. Reply

  4. Brendon – scrolling down the Recent Comments column I somehow thought that your comment here was your response to Mel’s question about your sex life. >: )

    Reply
  5. Reply

  6. say “hello” to the big d for me 195^^tell him if he doesn’t visit soon his groupie status will be called into question

    Reply
  7. Reply

  8. uhhhh no offense but bros before hoes comes to mind, chances are the friendship would last longer then your relationship. Sounds like an upstanding guy to me which probably doesn’t help you at all but there are plenty of fish in the sea and if you have two guys after you I’m sure there are plenty of others as well 🙂

    Reply
  9. Reply

  10. What’s wrong with the other guy OP?

    Of course “the love” must be mutual but give him a shot. What can you lose …

    Unless you value their collective friendship greatly. You alread know your interest isn’t going to pursue you, so why keep hurting yourself, why put yourself in that position of constant craving.

    Move on.

    For reals.

    Reply

  11. Don’t listen to the Donk! (xo donk) Seriously…wait it out…the one who likes you will move on eventually and then you can date the friend later down the road. If he’s worth waiting for then wait.

    Reply
  12. Reply
  13. Reply
  14. Reply

  15. Yeah, but does the one YOU like like you back?

    Shit happens, OP. This crap has happened to many of us at one point or another: the one we want doesn’t want us for whatever reason and the one we don’t want wants us.

    In any event, talk to the guy you’re into. Why would you have to wait until he askes you out? I mean, if *I* can talk to a random cute boy on a fucking bus (oh yes I did), you can be straight with this guy.

    Reply

  16. That was actually supposed to be a picture of Homer Simpson sulking but my computer has been doing funny things with links lately. >: (

    Reply

  17. If only all of our problems could be like the OPs.

    If the only problem you have worth writing a bitch about is that someone likes you then you must have a pretty sweet life.

    Reply

  18. I agree. Bros before hos, unless you’re on a dry spell or your bro owes you.

    @snoop: y u mad bra?

    Reply

  19. Yeah, I mean we could be bitching about coke being splashed on cars!

    heehee, just jokin’ snoop 🙂

    No I kinda thought the same thing, myself. This is a pretty weak bitch.

    OP: if the guy you like won’t date you, might as well hook up with his friend who does like you. Could end up having some great sex which is always nice *shrug*

    Reply

  20. “Bros before hos, unless you’re on a dry spell or your bro owes you.”

    Mino, that latter part of that statement would never work in the world of women. LOL Guys are so much less uptight about shit.

    Reply

  21. “Don’t listen to the Donk! “

    Gurl please, the advice you just gave sounds like needy ho business. Hi hands aren’t tied. He can do what he wished. Sure I understand not wanting to hurt your friendship with your best friend etc. but fo serious … this isn’t Romeo and Juliet. You don’t belong to feuding families, he doesn’t live overseas, he isn’t in the pound … so what’s stopping him? Give that a good thought.

    Chances are if he doesn’t like you enough now to pursue something he never will. Move on in the time being, come back to it at a late date perhaps. Time waits for no free man and neither should you.

    Reply

  22. Sounds like a threesome. But after the two guys try each other, neither will want you.

    Reply

  23. I put xo in a nice way (So don’t ever call me a fucking ho again).

    I thought you were saying “if you can’t be with the one you want – date the dude who likes you” lol, So I was telling OP not to settle for what’s in front of her face if her eyes on a bigger prize….wait it out. But you’re right – his hands aren’t tied and if he really liked the girl he’d ask her out. Totally right. Chances are the buddies crush is just getting him out of the situation and he’s not into her in the first place.

    Reply
  24. Reply

  25. Isn’t that the way things seem to work out. I remember having a lot of interest in this girl who did not reciprocate the interest but had a keen interest in another man whom I knew. I met this man at the movies one time and he confided in me that he was keen on a lady we both knew but it turns she had a crush on me.We all moved on in the end but I was floored by the irony.
    More a love quadrangle than triangle I realize but this post brought that memory back. To the poster, keep it platonic and see how things play out.

    Reply

  26. Well in the case of the coke on the car at least something sort of shitty happened. I fail to see what sucks about this bitch. Some guy likes her and he’s friends with another guy who she likes… so? Are you extremely good friends with both of them? No, because you only just found out they were friends. So why does their bromance matter so much to you? You’re making this more dramatic than it needs to be. Just tell the dude who likes you that you don’t feel the same way while simultaneously reflecting on how sweet it is that someone likes you in the first place. Then ask his friend out. Maybe after he rejects you (not because of his friend liking you but just because it’s possible for guys to not be into you) you’ll appreciate it more when people actually like you. And if he says yes, THEN you can be concerned with the possible ramifications your dating has on their friendship. Assuming all of you are adults (Is that assuming too much? It does sound like this was written by an angst ridden teenager) you should be able to deal with it just fine.

    The guy who likes you is the one who has something to bitch about, not you.

    What makes you think I’m mad Mino? lol. I’m just pointing out to the OP that she’s LUCKY, and this isn’t as complicated as she thinks it is. Turn the drama down.

    Reply

  27. … I didn’t call you a ho. I said that’s a ho business statement, BIG difference.

    Unless that was sarcasm whale?

    Expletives from a pregnant lady … put a cloud on my day.

    Reply

  28. I am a whale….. (sobs in my hands for the 6th time today…lol) I know you didn’t Donk….I’m emotional and defensive and FAT.
    I never swear….until this week…and only in print.

    Reply

  29. Awwwwwwww RC *hugs*

    It’ll all be over soon and you’ll have a precious little love bug that was all worth it! 🙂

    PS: you ain’t fatter than me and at least like 90% of your fat is another human being! so yay for that!

    And srsly, snoop, calm down, lady. Stop taking the internet so srsly. I agree with ya, i was just making a joke. You know a joke: “haha”?

    Why don’t you just say something to the guy who you’re into? Why are people such pansies when it comes to telling people this shit? No, they’d much rather sit around and create little dramas for themselves. Meanwhile, there are starving children in Africa so STFU.

    http://www.thechefscookbook.com/wp-content…

    Reply
  30. Reply

  31. You mentioned coke can or something then went into a rant about the bitch. I figured you didn’t get the joke.

    *shrug*

    Reply
  32. Reply

  33. anyone got any stories? Boring Tuesday… onlyone bitch.. Tommy has no one to argue with … sigh…

    Reply

  34. No one’s really around these days, tommy.

    Even my posting is starting to dwindle down. *shrug*

    Reply
  35. Reply

  36. This triangle like thing happened to me in high school. I sooo liked this one guy and it was clear his friend who I had no interest in, was very much interested in me. They both asked if I wanted to hang out with them one day and of course I said yes, only to find out it was only the friend who was interested in me that showed up. What a trickster he was but in the end he won me over and WHOAMYGAWD he was great in teh sac and in the end I loved him greatly and couldn’t imagine if I had of ended up with the other friend!

    But this isn’t high school. The solution to your problem OP, is to ditch them both and be single! Jk. Dats just what I would do today ;D but I realize that’s not what’s good for everyone. So yadda yadda, I’d say just wait and see who makes the move first.

    Reply

  37. Paingirl…I got this book of trivia I’m reading….IT says that if you have a shorthaired cat, its ancestry goes back to ancient Eygpt. Long haired & its India.
    No word on Cat diabetes.
    Do you have to give it insulin ?

    Reply

  38. Awww poor kitteh, PG 🙁

    Do you have to give kitteh insulin shots and test the kitteh’s blood sugar? I tested Molly’s regularly when she was losing weight and she was always normal. Surprisingly easy to do too — just a prick on the paw pad. She didn’t even flinch 🙂 Cats are so good about needles and such. <3

    Reply

  39. @Snoop: yea u mad. its okay bra. we all get mad. life is srs bsns.

    If the OP is an adult then you need to grow up. Piss on the guys leg, declare ownership, then sniff his butt. What I’m saying is follow your heart or loins and stick to your guns.

    If the OP is a teenager then my advice is….life’s a bitch and then you die. Worst things will happen and better things will come around. Life toughens you up by putting you through shit.

    Reply

  40. Yes, ovary up and ask one of the guys out already, OP. (I should probably take some of my own advice but that’s an entirely different issue.)

    Reply

  41. Fuck – I think I hear the swell of ‘Torn Between 2 Lovers’ (cheezy tune from the 70s) rising from the gnarly bowels of earth.

    Reply
  42. Reply
  43. Reply

  44. ZOMG! I want to give dis kitteh a hug!

    Does the kitteh have to wear a medic alert bracelet? I gotta, but I don’t because I’m bad ass.

    ANYWAY, Mino, you pretty much summed it all up nicely. Great post.

    ‘matron: don’t worry dude, us bitchers have ya back. AND I’m sure Ivan will be more than happy to help ya with the ladiez! I hear he’s a sly fox with t3h womenz! heh heh.

    Reply

  45. I would do them both at the same time….they would enjoy me too 🙂

    Kinda like a spit-roast……….

    Reply

  46. OP, just ask the one out that you like, or move on. No biggie.

    Now, for the important business:
    ====I’m emotional and defensive and FAT.====

    You are sexy as hell right now and a complete babe. Part of never going to have my own kids that sucks is not getting to take care of and love my girl, while she feels like shit.
    I’m not coming on to you, seriously, but I bet my other leg you’re amazing and kick ass right now. Sorry you have to go through all the hormone shit and feel not pretty, but feelings are not reality often.

    And since you’re one of my (favourite) Bitches I haven’t met yet, if you want to, let me take you to lunch this/next week? You saw me on the street that day. You know who I am.
    We can have PK chaperone…
    (100% serious- get at me through PK)

    Reply

  47. PG (and all cat lovers) – Have a look at Your Cat: Simple New Secrets to a Longer , Stronger Life by Elizabeth M. Hodgkins. The library has copies. It was recommended by my beloved vet and it’s excellent! Folks: dry food is the cause SO MANY cat health issues – including diabetes.

    Reply

  48. “…but I bet my other leg” … so… if we were to say … go to Vegas … …

    Reply
  49. Reply

  50. I think some research into the meaning of “love triangle” might make OB look like less of an idiot.

    Reply

  51. thanks snubiz, unfortunately the vet thought that it was the anti-itch shots he had been receiving the last two years that brought it on. i just found out yesterday and he just needs one shot a day

    Reply

  52. Sorry to hear about your moggie PG; but he’s in good company at least. Maybe he and Wilford Brimley can come to the next summit *narf*

    Reply

  53. Wait what — anti itch shots… did those shots have steroids in them? Because Molls gets those once a month. Frig.

    Poor little pooper 🙁 I’m sure he’s a trooper though! And yes, bring him to the next summit. At this rate we could start a “wilfred brimley syndrome” bitch club. heehee

    Reply
  54. Reply
  55. Reply
  56. Reply
  57. Reply

  58. Now that’s a good kitty. I’m pretty sure the Countess is getting Alzheimers. She was chasing her tail yesterday and everytime she caught it she’d give this really angry sounding meow. Then she’d look at us reproachfully, as if we were the ones messing with her. Lovable little tard.

    Reply

  59. Molly already feels that the sole reason I’ve been put on this earth to serve her, so she’d probably consider my own diabetes shots as practice for when i’d have to give HER her shots 😛

    She’s a happy tard too. Whenever I take her blood sugar she’s all “ehhhhhh” and sighs and goes back to sleep 😛

    Do you have to take the kitteh’s blood sugars too?

    Also: hugo — that cat scares me. greatly!

    Reply
  60. Reply
  61. Reply

  62. I’m thinking that 3 straight weeks of rain have sent our resident chronic complainers to either suicide or Arizona. Surely someone must have encountered some dogshit on the way to the bus stop to complain about city councillors smoking while they drive.^^^

    Reply

  63. t’was nice getting away from the shit you call weather…
    🙂
    the rain feels nice on my sunburn.

    Reply
  64. Reply
  65. Reply
  66. Reply
  67. Reply
Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *