Why do old people suck so bad?! They’re moody, stupid, can’t remember their own names, can’t drive and they don’t even like each other. And I’m supposed to show these assholes respect? Why? Because they could buy chips for a quarter 60 years ago? They’ll tell you off, shove a shopping cart into you and then piss themselves and act all bewildered when you’re not respectful to them?! Yet if I call any one of ’em on this bullshit, I’m the asshole? This makes no sense whatsoever. Now the baby boomers are coming into this age demographic and i think it’s time for me to go out and get a baby booming beat stick so they can respect my authoritah! Yea yea there’s one or five cool old people but that’s a less than one percent of them. Move them to Cape Breton so they can take a dip in the tar ponds. -They Say Kids Are Getting Worse And Worse, But It’s Old People
This article appears in Apr 10-16, 2014.
This was a welcome laugh. Thanks!!
They are right. You *are* an asshole.
It was .25 cents for a bag of chips closer to 35 years ago. Not that I’d know..*cough, cough*
This old boomer will stick your carcass in La Brea tar pits to become fossil fuel for next generation. Want respect, earn it.
If old people are pissed, it’s no doubt due to the realization and fear of knowing that the world is going to be in the hand’s of OB’s generation soon, then we’re all fucked.
They are the baby boomers. And they were the ones who covered up the tar ponds, making a lovely park in which to sit, be moody, stupid and forgetful….
Maybe you should get your facts right before I shove this shopping cart up your arse. And BTW… I like to pee myself, you disrespectful asshole!
Oh wait…I’m one of the cool five – sorry OB!
Maureen had it right.
“I’m your average white, suburbanite slob…”
Jesus, give them a break, OB — most of them are so constipated they haven’t have a ‘bowel movement’ (as the old folks like to say) in months.
How would YOU feel if you hadn’t taken a shit in a month?
You’d be pretty cranky, too.
Old people suck!!!
Plugging up traffic at rush hour (because it’s super important for ya’ll old people to be “running errands” at 6:30-9:00 in the fucking morning cause you wouldn’t want to miss your mid morning AND your afternoon naps) , going to the bank to get their “bankbook” updated for no other reason than to talk to someone, never saying “thank you” when you hold a door open, butting in lines at checkouts, talking about the weather, blue hair, sucking up all the healthcare budget, being commissionaires, complaining about “young whippersnappers”, listening to country music, plugging up the drug stores when tissue is on sale, mowing your lawns at 7:00am on a fucking Saturday/Sunday (I know, I know, it would be silly to do that shit during the week while everyone else is at work, that’s “weekend work”), polyester pant suits, driving hats, big assed sunglasses that go over your regular glasses, using cheques, etc…
FAAAAKKKK!!!!! If there is anyone who you think would be in a hurry, it would be old people, they way less time than the rest of us.
Wonder what your thoughts will be like on this subject in 2054, or so? Back in 1974 the idea of 2014 and what it would be like, and how I would be- if still here, seemed a hundred years in the future. Zap – 40 years later already and basically the same place and stuff, with some electronic upgrades but a lot of downgrades to personal interaction. However, just for fun write all your angst into a note to yourself and try and put it somewhere that you can go and find it to re-read in 2054, that is if the young ‘uns of that time let your sorry self out of your old person cage (before your C.B. trip to be tar dipped, as you now wish for others). Then again maybe by then they may have invented a way to stop aging – but do not bet on it. I thought we might be able to easily get to Mars by now. Not really but it was a nice idea at times when reading Sci-Fi. BTW start photoshopping some pics of yourself to see what you look like with crow’s feet, less hair etc. just to prepare a bit ahead of time. Otherwise you are in for a treat seeing a semi-familiar stranger in your mirror each day.
So sorry, I couldn’t finish reading your post I was too busy counting one or two of my pensions, you have them, right?
It’s hard keeping track of all the benefits I enjoy, you know dental, medical, age related, you have them, right?
One of the many things I enjoy, at your taxed to death status, is driving my Lexus into town at a leisurely pace while you’re at work, paying for my lifestyle, did I mention that previously?, I’m old so I tend to forget these things, that’s why employ professionals so I can maintain my lifestyle, and keep my distance from bitter, sad little fucks like you.
Grow up 🙂
Really op, you couldn’t think up anything clever on your own? There is more intelligence in the little toe of a senior than there will ever be in a whole brain of most of today’s youth. All you really see is the selfies you just took…. Not much intelligence in a picture. Stop looking at yourself and start looking around you. Seniors may be annoying to you, but I find them quite interesting and a pleasure to talk to. Sure there are some cranky old farts, but the majority are very kind, sweet, and very witty. I say God bless them, and woe to us, for the upcoming generations are in for a bumpy ride.
Yours truly.