A friend of mine and her husband adopted these two older kids after 15 years of waiting for a newborn. The kids they have are fucking psycho. They are violent with all kinds of ADHD issues. They have turned my loving friend into a nervous wreck because of their destructive behavior. She’s called every source, including the adoption agency, to resolve this problem but as yet nothing is being done.
If she and her husband can’t handle these little demons, can you imagine if they were growing up with drug addicts or alcoholics? And who’s to say they won’t become criminals anyway? —Pro-Choice
This article appears in Oct 7-13, 2010.
adoption is a good thing, shows that someone cares enough to give these kids a home. and even with any type of mental issues they might have, it makes it all the more poignant. most prefer babies, but some like to get older kids. my sister had fostered about 15 over a 20 year period, and today, they still think of her as mom, even though she has passed on, most still take flowers to her gravesite, which is way fucking cool in my book. maybe more people should get involved in trying to help some kid, that really deserves a break.
Awwww, LS, it sounds like your sister was a real sweetheart. You are still an ass, but it seems like your sister was the real deal.
hey dawn, i never claimed to be an angel. don’t like me, i don’t give a shit, like me, and you got a backup for life. and yes, my sis. was one of a kind, i always will miss her too.
Perhaps it’s time for some post-labour abortion! This is why we need to bring back the death penalty. Somewhat ironically, though, most pro-choicers are anti-death penalty, and vice-versa.
LS-sometimes you really surprise me and say something worthwhile.
OB-adoption is a wonderful thing to do. So many people want to adopt a newborn or a young child, so that makes it more difficult to get a young child. Anyone with half a brain must realize that adopting an older child, even one who’s 4 or 5, is going to be a lot more difficult. These children have been either raised in the system, or just taken out of unfit homes. How can you possibly expect them not to come with problems? It takes certain kind of people to be able to handle these kinds of children. Although it is impossible to know exactly what your newly adopted child will be like in the long run, you have to almost expect the worst and hope for the best.
I feel bad for your friends, but they should have realized going into this situation that it could be incredibly hard. Children would most likely come with all kinds of social, mental and emotional problems.
I don’t know your friend or her husband, there is nothing to lead me to believe that they can take care of themselves let along a child. Is this your only experience with adoption? “And who’s to say they won’t become criminals anyway? —Pro-Choice”
You like killing innocent children, good for you, do you want a medal for bravery?
I feel really sad for these children…they are only a product of their environment and obviously not a good one because they were taken away. It takes a very strong person who doesn’t take a lot of shit…but has a big heart to help teach them to become better individuals. I can see how LS sister would be great at it…just by your comments you seem to not take a lot of shit. I think our generation is a little too lenient on kids and we let our own feeling get hurt too easy. OP I hope your friends can find the strength it takes.
“Why would anyone adopt these days?”
As someone who IS adopted, I take offense to that. Without my loving parents who knows where I may have ended up. My parents opened their hearts and their home to me.
How much background on these children do you know? How much of the behviour may be related to genetics? To being born of parents with drug and/or alcohol addictions? There is a whole host of underlying issues that could be contributing to their behaviour. Since they’re older how many homes were they bounced through before coming to your friend?
I’m sorry your friend is having a hard time with her children right now. I can only encourage her to keep reaching out, seek counselling for her children and for herself and her husband. Life isn’t flawless, parenting isn’t picture perfect. It takes work and it can be trying. Adoption is a wonderful thing. Don’t paint it all in a negative light based on this one case.
me ma is adopted, and she turned out right some jeslus good…love ya ma^^
I totally respect your family for adopting an older child/children. It’s unfortunate that they can’t find help they need with the child’s issues, though. Please don’t let it put you off of adopting, though. They could have had a child on their own and still could of had the same problems. Every child is different. Don’t lump them in to one category.
OP sounds like your friend and her husband didn’t seriously consider the consequences of adopting kids with such issues. I’m sure there must have been some background information/cast study info given to them prior to the adoption. Were they not aware of what they were getting themselves into. Besides, they chose to do this, what business is it of yours?
The kid has problems, not ADHD problems. ADHD just makes problems you have worse, i.e: quick temper, impulsiveness, etc.
hey it’s wildbill, the vagina euphemism guy^^
Send the kids back to where they came from. Or ask for someone in blonde or Jew instead.
What do you mean nothing is being done? What did they expect ‘every source’ (what sources?) and the adoption service to do? Spank their kids for them? Give their kids a talking to for them? Ground their kids for them?
It’s great to adopt and everything, but this is exactly why there’s tons of parents waiting for infants to adopt and tons of older children waiting to be adopted. A lot of the older kids have serious baggage and emotional/behavioral issues, and the parents who’ve never raised a kid before don’t know what they’re doing. So if an older kid with behavioral problems gets adopted by first-time parents, disaster ensues. I’m going to use a shitty analogy that will probably get me made fun of: It’s like a noob buying a level 80 WoW character off e-bay… haha
Anyway, it’s not just the kids that’s the problem, OP. The parents are the adults in the situation, the onus is on them no matter how inexperienced they are. Sucks that they made this decision without really thinking it through or knowing what they were getting into, but they’re parents now. What can they do, un-adopt them? Biological parents can’t un-birth their children, and sometimes they didn’t even make the decision to have the kid in the first place. Your friends made the decision (albeit a poor one) and now they have to deal come hell or high water, just like every other parent. Shifting all the blame onto the kids alone and then expecting other people to parent for them is naive and immature. Your friends need to grow up and learn how to be good parents fast. The have to learn now what takes most people years of practice. Sounds like this entire family needs an adoption therapist or counselor. Add that to your ‘sources’.
Another eloquent (albeit long) post from snoop. I tip my hat to you sir/madam.
Snoop, you speak with real intelligence on so many topics. I fully agree with what you’re saying.
Why isn’t the OB responding??
Did you guys hear/read about the lady who put her adopted Russian son back on the plane with a note in his pocket with the address to the adoption agency. It said she just couldn’t take it anymore and never anticipated his behavioural issues. Now that’s just cruel!
The same way you can’t shove the child back up the birth canal is the same way you have to deal with what you’ve been dealt in adoption. Sorry but I feel no pity here.
I heard about that on The View… scary how stupid and selfish people can be.
Did they keep their receipt? Was there a warrenty? See when I bought a belt and I wore it once and the buckle broke I went back and told the guy I bought it from that the belt had some problems so I gave it back and he gave me a new one.
Oh…these are PEOPLE…not PROPERTY. Right! I guess you don’t get to pick out the perfect little prince and princess from the Fairytale Nursery.
So what if they DID give birth to a child and it had all these problems…or even worse problems. Would they call up the womb and ask for some answers?
Maybe write a letter of grievance to the sperm?
This has nothing to do with adoption. This is a case of whether your friends are capable of parenting children with issues.
ADHD is a myth.
aww, you guys are making me blush 🙂
@Yorkke. Says who? You? How about asking someone who actually has it, takes the meds for it, and whose life changed for the better a hundredfold as a result?
I’m sick of you ignorant numbskulls who believe every crackpot journalist trying to sell a headline “FEEDING OUR KIDS CRACK!!”, every time you hear the word ‘ADHD’.
You’re the same kind of jerk who probably blames those kids’ problems on the poor parent who adopted them.
If a kid’s gonna grow up in a shit home, with drug addicts and alcoholics for parents, it’s incredibly inconsiderate to go through with the birth.
“Ohhh, I don’t want to kill it, I just want it to live a horrible life of crime and addiction and poverty and contribute nothing to our society and live off the welfare of the people who actually did something with their life. I’m such a good person! Jesus loves me!”
You are scum.
Hi tralala. Want to have a look at ADHD? Let’s do it.
So what does ADHD mean? Well, it means attention-deficit disorder, which may or may not include hyperactivity.
This means the child has an attention shortage, i.e. a short attention span. They cannot do one thing for a long period of time, such as sitting in class. However, it’s strange that that kid will be able to do one activity for a long period of time if they enjoy it, such as watching TV, surfing the net, playing a certain sport, or participating in any particular activity that they get to choose. So essentially we have selective attention deficit disorder.
In school is where most kids have the old ADD. They cannot pay attention in class. But again, very strange when they work one-on-one with an adult they trust on a school assignment they do not lack attention.
Strange also how if you pay a student to behave, they do. ADD can be beat with bribes. Let’s say you have a real mental disorder like schizophrenia, well guess what? If you pay someone it won’t cause the problem to go away, unlike ADD.
Strange also how only a select few countries have students with ADD, e.g. Canada, USA, Australia and UK most notably. Students in South Africa, Argentina, Bulgaria, Japan, etc. none of those students have ADD. Must be something in the water.
Strange also how when diagnosed in a classroom it is 90% males, but when diagnosed in a medical office it is 50-50.
Strange how parents of ADD kids don’t medicate them on weekends.
Ignorant I am not.
Every ADD / ADHD case is different. Some need medications 24/7, others do not need them at all. I have worked with children with severe ADD – I can tell you firsthand that bribery does not always work. Sure it may get you results on the rare occasion but doesn’t that work with any child? ADD / ADHD exists. The ADD / ADHD does not disappear. It is still there. The child knows they will get what you are offering to them if they just do what you have told them to do. It does not go away at the drop of a hat. Some children possess the ability to rein it in to get the bribe offer, others do not have that ability. It depends on the severity of the ADD/ADHD and the course of treatment.
Many of these children do well one on one, as opposed to a group setting (like in a classroom). One on one they only have one person to focus on without all the distractions of a classroom. As with all children they may not focus well in a classroom but give them something they like they’ll focus very well. Does that mean that all children have ADD or ADHD? No. Does that mean some children do? Yes.
I have a family member with ADHD: she is medicated during the week to allow her to get the most out of her classroom time as possible. She is not medicated on the weekends to allow her to just be her.
Fuck – ADD – I had it beat out of me.
Yes it does exist. Just too big of an umbrella term for other shit.
Tell your sister to buy a taser. With the prison’s overcrowded, worst she’d get is house-arrest 🙂 … where she’s be able to taser some more sense into those demons.
O.p you are a selfish fucking idiot… enough said.