I am so certifiably pathetic it’s insane! I can’t seem to do anything right. I am 34 years old and I live at home with my mom and I am STILL a virgin! I never even had an orgasm by playing with myself, I try to masturbate but nothing happens. What am I doing wrong? I didn’t graduate high school because, I don’t know why, I just couldn’t. I only had 3 jobs in my whole life. My first one was at a fast food job, I got fired because I didn’t catch on fast enough. The second job was also fast food, I got fired from that one too, but it was because I kissed a girl there. She got mad and I was canned. The 3rd job was cleaning the house for Mom, which is what I’m doing now, for $25 a week. I thought of being a janitor to make myself better, but Mom tells me I clean too slow to do it for a cleaning company. Why can’t I get a pretty girl? My brothers got pretty girls and they’re younger than me. My youngest brother is only 17 and he had sex before, he overlapped me!! It’s not fair. I want to be not pathetic but how do I do it? Help wanted. —I Want to be Someone Good
This article appears in Mar 1-7, 2012.
Trolololololololol
Incompetent people are too incompetent to know they’re incompetent.
Troll.
Who ya gonna call??
THIS guy!
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/t…
Not a bad movie, btw.
i’m seriously hoping this is a joke. if not go the fuck back to school, learn how to right a resume and try not to be so socially awkward
“try not to be so socially awkward” Speaking from personal experience, that’s a hell of a lot easier said than done.
are you a female o.p.? if you are, and never had the earth move. then i can really help you. providing this is not a fake bitch. which sounds kinda like it might be.
oh well, here goes, gary_more@hotmail.com, get hold of me, and i can help you with your little problem. satisfaction gaurenteed. and i do house calls.
This has Zilla written all over it
Trololololololo lo lo lolo ha ha ha ha haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I’ll give ya a run for your money. You sound like my kinda guy.
OB first you have to get rid of the orange scented hand cleaner you use for lubrication ! That grainy texture is pumice aka sand, so that’s why you feel such a burning sensation & can’t get it to stay up.
Secondly there are job placements for mentally challenged people available, just go to a E.I. office & ask directions to a mental health facility/programs.
Pretty girls are over rated…lower your standards a bit at a time until you find one. If no matter how low you go,you still strike out…. there are working girls on the street who will get you off for a few dollars, I wouldn’t normally advise that route, but I can hear your desperation
Your youngest brother is afraid to tell you, that pretty girl’s he is seeing, well his real name is George ! ! ! & is saving up for the rest of his sex change, but those are his new breasts ,all bought & paid for.
Your other brother has only had sex with your priest & just tells you he is seeing a pretty girl.
Finally you are not just pathetic, but as has already been mentioned, you are definately a TROLL
& a damn lame one at that .
Perhaps here should be a harmonica being played in the background as one reads this bitch.
“I got dem old low down Trollllling Bluuuuuuues!”
Well, OB, your father was a loser, and his father, and his father. It’s genetic man.
I’m a Troll Man..Do do do do do..do do do do do!
Meh … needed more errors in usage/spelling/grammar for this to be real. And a failed troll for the same reason.
OK, let’s see if I have this straight…
34, live at home with your Mother, a virgin, unable to achieve orgasm, sexualy assulted a co-worker, flunked out of High School, unemployable, and “slow”.
But your spelling and grammar are fine.
You’re a philosopher, aren’t you.
LOL @ Hugo!!
montrealman?
..sposed to be like funny?..weird-o-rama dood
no_fool, were you aiming your comment to moi, if so, let’s get it on.
LS you sure could teach us a thing or two about perseverance …
donk, you sweet thing, i have a one track dick,er, mind. love you too sweetie,when?????
I’m trying very hard to hate you …. but that’s becoming more and more difficult as time passes. Lol.
I guess you prefer the devils you know …
When LS … it’s a safe bet to say … never, but I support your endeavors.
Good luck!
Ladies, he’s waiting … heh.
Me fail english? That’s unpossible!
For me to consider gettin giggety with you Life sucks, you will need to provide a blood test, ATM receipt & penis measurments. You can send em to my inbox. Also, do you regularily use shampoo?
Not me. My trolls are never self deprecating.
I also don’t post bitches. I’ve posted one since I made my original account and that was the Tommy one. If I’m going to troll then I’ll make sure everyone knows its me. My narcissism prevents me from doing anything I can’t directly take credit for. Which can be said for most people that post here….I just accept that fact and embrace it.
Yeah, the masturbation thing can be tricky. You seem to be talking about Mom a lot, maybe that’s got something to do with it.